by Stefan_J
Having read so many stories, I've never felt the need to write a comment. Until now.
Best damn story I've ever read! Thank you for this.
This story could have been very trite and hokey in the wrong hands....but you made it believable, and that is no small feat. It's particularly difficult to make an "apparition" sympathetic, but obviously that is "child's play to you. Good luck with the contest!!
Enjoyed reading your story. I hope Peter has more "encounters"
What a wonderful and thoughtful story.
You have great style my friend.
Best Wishes,
D.Scott.
hi there ,loved the story it was very well writen with an ending thats open to possibilities..i for 1 hope that there maybee a follow up piece in the making . my rating would be a 10,congratulations & regards from geoff
this is a great story and it is believable. great story from a great auther keep it up
So far I think this could be your best story yet. You took great care on developing the main character and did a great job on setting up the mood for the whole thing.
Its was awesome man, Congratulations.
Another great story, well written, with believable characters, even funny... fantastic. I loved it. Although I don't think, that a sequel is really necessary. The end is well done.
Excellent style and structure. Very convincing character voice. Story's been done, but what hasn't? Besides, you made it your own. Nice interpretation of the role of the supernatural, understated, which I like. Peter was something of a stock character, but writen with feeling and what I would guess is a fair amount of personal expirience (seeing as I had no problem identifying with him). My only compalaint would be that you used so many metaphores, I found myself reading the story instead of living it, which is the objective. Still, if you were going for a comic-book feel, they fit. It's odd to see an actual story here on Literotica, and while I'm happy with the usual wham-bams that make their apppearance here, your story deserves to win. This one is the only Halloween submission getting a 5 from me.
Awesome story. Kepted me focused from start to finish. It goes with out saying it needs a sequel between Peter and Anna.
This story is sure to make the top five greatest stories on this site. Very well-written. Thank you for your time and effort in making this a very special story.
Not to sound like one, but this is a wonderful story. It's the most well-written of any I've read on Lit, and I appreciate all the effort you put into it.
Thanks!
After reading the first few paragraphs of a story, I'll usually scroll to the bottom to find out the number of pages. I normally click out if there's more than 3. This story kept me in it's grasp from the first paragraph, I just couldn't stop reading. Excellent job!
Well, you know what I think? I think this has topped even The Last Nice Guy. Even though you know I'm not a big comic book fan, you did an awesome job in convincing me maybe I should read one or two again. Just in case something fun might happen in my fantasies. Loved it!!! Smooches
What a sweet and sexy story! Finely crafted and very well written... perhaps the best I have ever read in this forum!
I have been reading Literotica stories for years and I never read more than a three chapter one. This one is the BEST I have EVER read. Being a virgin geek comic guy I was right there with him at every point. The other posters have said it better then I, but this story will be remembered by me and go in to my personal fantasy file. If erotic literature was more mainstream you would be a millionair. Thank you again for a wonderful story.
Well written. Tender. An excellent job. Thoroughly enjoyed reading it
Awesome story, you HAVE to write a part 2. I don't usually comment on stories, but this one is damn cool. Keep up the good work.
The story was fantastic. The way it was told was gripping and completely spellbinding..I will be sure to keep watch for more of your tales..
I've been reading stories on Lit for... I don't even know anymore, let's say, a *long* time.
This one's definitely not the hottest I've read here, but the *story* is so emotional, so well-written and so, let's face it, plain cool, that this is the first story that ever prompet me to leave a comment.
Very cool stuff! On the one hand I hope there'll be a sequel, on the other hand I think this would be just like the Matrix sequels - whatever comes next can't be nearly as good as the original story, and might even destroy the magic.
I absolutely loved this story. You did a great job writing this. I definitely feel it should continue with peter and anna. But for now this was great. Thanks
the Anna Jone angle is just a distraction. the impossible, when it is possible, is more unearthly romantic than the ordinary.
don't remember the author, but there's one other story similar to this in Literotica, about a sad gringo moving to some souther state where there's a lot of beautiful senoritas and fell in love with one, who happened to die sometime ago,,, they met and fell deeply in love with each other, with him bringing flowers to her everything they met,,,, but once his curiosity drove him to find out the "real truth" about her, the knowledge about her death severed their connection forever, but he continued to take flowers to some cementary place where he used to meet her and would talk to her, by himself, laughing and crying,,, eventually the local village kids came to call him the "local gringo" or something,,, it was a very well written, short story about losing one's mind, going into delusion,,,
as for THIS STORY, I think the story/author should explore having Mary come back (not as in the "Monkey's Paw") to this dimension, to be with the young man whose virginity (as well as heart) she took! she can't "go back" and get more "assignments" anywhere, since she violated the rules, "God's rules", (having "free will") so badly this time around,,,
she might as well come back to this life --- if she's able to once, she's able to again --- and stay permanently; grow up and mature; get married and have a family and live and life's beauty and sorrows to the fullest, with someone she loves. Why should she or any other young people suffer for the mistakes of others? They should be able to "come back" to this interesting existence and participate in it!
I've never felt the need to comment on a story before, but you should know that that was probably the best story I've read on this site. Great job. The balance of emotional content and sexual content kept me interested throughout. I'll definately be back to read a part 2. Thanks.
You possess a great talent. I hope you write as your vocation. If not, please consider it.
I have never sent a response to the authors of the stories on Lit., although I have read hundreds (maybe thousands)? I was moved by your story to commnent. Keep up the good work. (and thanks!)
Well-written and romantic with wonderful touches of humor, good character development, a great story!
Although it was fairly obvious as to how this tale would end, it was not the end that was the point of the tale. The point was to draw us a masterful glimpse of the frustration and anxiety and fear that so many teens live through. You told this in a sweet, never overly sweet, way and as I read it, I smiled, remembering all to well those years long ago. Thank you.
great story and really well-written, i'm really impressed.
it would be also great if you could continue it, to show us what happens with the main character's friend..
ah, first love (or first "real" love),,, it really does last a life time (even if just in our neurons),,, if it is with the right person,,, and especially if it is fleeting,,, not due to person choice but circumstances beyond the young lovers' control,,, the what-if's, could-have's, might-have's, should-have's
I don't know what I could say that hasn't already been said here, but this is truely a wonderful story. I was enthralled and I normal don't have the patience for such long stories, even though I tend to write long ones. Thanks for such a wonderful read!!
I love the geek-boy touches in here, they give the story emotional resonance. All your stories have that something special that makes you feel warm and fuzzy as well as horny. You're truly a talented writer.
The best Holloween story I have read so far. Though It might have been fairly obvious, the wit and execution made it work great.
I really can't say much about this that I havn't already told you. I loved the main character, he's just the kinda guy that I go for and the plot was perfect and even though you knew how it would end, it didn't ruin the story as it does with most others. Keep writing because I can't wait to read your next one. You defintaly should have won first place because the one that did win was nothing compared to this.
The quality of writing on this story is exceptional. It's smooth, cheeky, and engaging. Very well done.
Once again--your stories are amazing, they aren't just an "erotic story", the plots are always completely engaging. Incredible work as usual!!!!
I read all the comments before I read the story & I was determined to find something to niggle about - but I cannot. 10/10.
I hope you are working on chapter 2. I'd love to read what happens next to our Friendly Neighborhood Spiderman. :-P
I can't get enough of your writing. Please do Chap 2 so we can see the changes in his life.
Seriously, you are a testament to fine literatue. You do to erotic stories what Homer did to epic poems. Really though, write more! Do it for us, your fans! People out there are yearning for stories of the romantic caliber you give us, not just another sexed up orgy. This story in particular was brilliant (although when Mary said 'It comes with the territory' I was on to it, and I'll be honest: it kinda freaked me out!) And your other story "The Last Nice Guy in Town" was one of the best short stories I've ever read. Please, WRITE MORE!!! Have a wonderful life my friend. God bless.
You have talent. If you are not pursuing a career as a writer you are doing the world a big disservice. This story with a few changes is mainstream publishable.
that was amazing ! very sweet and emotional too. definately the best one i've read so far .i agree that the 2nd chapter has to be written ! once again , WOW !!!
I have read hundreds of stories on here but have never felt the nee dto vote or even comment but yours I just had to. Great job and keep writing
Great story ... had a few too many comic book references for my tastes, but that's just me.
i think it would be cool if you added a second chapter to the story i would definitely read it. i dont what it was but i had to read thru to the end. nice job.
Wow; this story is so romantic and sweet. You did a great job on setting it up. Great job with the details too. If only everyone's first time could be like this. I hope my first time is half as perfect as Peter's. I'd like to find out what happens between Peter and Anna. Keep the stories coming.
I love this story!! I almost cried lol. I love all your writing. I hope to read me.
I've given up reading about sex. I think thats what I like so much about your writing. The sex really isn't what your writing about. You write about emotion, love, and life. This story was absolutely captivating. For me, the best part about a story is what leads up to the sex. Because, lets face it, how much can really be said new about blowjobs and sex. This story is refreshing for the tale that makes the reader so captivated by the sexual encounter.
Excellent writing, if you don't write for a living you should consider it.
Stories like this remind me of why I became a writer. More than that, stories like this remind me of why I love my life. Praise for your writing cannot be overstated. It was beautiful, and epic, and real. Really real. Thank you. I speak for everyone when I say: Thank you.
Absolutely the best i've read so far on this site.It tells a wonderful romantic story. Thanks for sharing
It was a long story.... much longer than others around of its genre. But it was oh so worth it! I think it was a really neat idea to have Mary as she was. I almost cried at the end! Reminds me of a friend of mine in a way. She's a firm believer in the supernatural, and I think this story fits her belief perfectly. It's there, yes, but not so much as to set off the..."BS" detector. Well done, Goodsir (or Ma'dam)!
The best fucking story I have ever read. This story has changed my life. I fucking love you.
Sorry that was a reference to an old ghost story.
But Wow. Why can't I be haunted?
Whatever you do don't give up writing because that, would quite possibly be, the dumbest thing you could probably do, i loved your story and I hope to hear more from you.
V.
Ever had the feeling of, when having watched a show in a theatre, and all the actors come out to bow, that it's the wrong people bowing, and it really should be the audience? That is how i feel right now :). Best stroy I've ever read. And perhaps the best i'll have read for a longer period of time. No simpler way to put it :). I bow in the dust for you.
This is by far the most interesting approach to story writing
I love your expressions of "Oh God" and "Jesus" to which she always responded, "Mary" which to the theological set means Mother of God or Feminine Aspect of God.... in that situation she is truely the Feminine Aspect of God initiating you into the manhood you were ready to enter.... it would be interesting to read about your date with Ann, the girl, who was to get your virginity.... how did that work out.... and how are you preserving the lime/yellow panties?
Ethereal sex isthe fantasy come true, and I do mean cum true.
Makes me want to start liking Haloween. Beautifully developed plot and characters. Sexually exciting as well as Mysterious. Keep writing. I like your style
so sad :(...saw it coming a mile off and yet i still feel sad...keep writing or stuff will haunt you :P
Was nearly in tears - this from a sixty year old bloke!!
This was a fantastic story, but the romantic in me was hoping for an answered plea to god that would see them living happily ever after. Bravo!!!
Thought this was one of the best stories I've read in a long time.
Third story of yours I have read tonight, and the three have been some of the best I have read.
Keep up the good work.
That was very remarkable, absolutely the best story I've read here. I find it interesting that no one else noticed the parallel in Mary's name. Mary Watts, or Mary Jane Watson, our friendly neighborhood Spiderman's love interest? I trust this was intentional, but it seems to have passed largely unnoticed.
Great, if ultimately wistful, RED HOT SEX filled with joy & laughter! I love it!!! The beginning is deceptively slow, with some light humor between two virginal, nerdly nerdish nerds. Then Peter Parker wanders out on Halloween and blunders into the cemetery, where he is approached by Mary Watts (hint, hint), who decelebates his brains out on a lush bed of fresh 8-in. grass. The sex is absolutely miraculous, with each determined to bring optimal joy and fulfillment to the other. And the splendidly written hilarity made me stop again and again to laugh out loud: In his passion he cries out, "Oh, Jesus!" She responds, "No. I'm Mary." He thinks his erection so loves her vagina that it wants "to pitch a tent and take up residence." I thought I wasn't going to like the inevitable ending as they kissed farewell, but even that was perfect in its wistfulness and eery spirituality. Did I say I loved it? Wrong. I ADORE IT!!
This HOT-HOT SEX tale is really a beautiful, if touched with sadness, romance. It's a bit of a horror (well, haunted) story, with almost science fiction elements and strong humor. In passion he cries out, "Jesus!" To which she immediately answers, "No. I'm Mary." It's a fabulous trick AND treat on Halloween. Maybe this, and not a spider, is what gave Peter Parker his powers. I LOVE IT!
You are a very talented and gifted writer. Your stories are consistently well done and enjoyable to read. It is easy for a reader to notice mistakes while reading a story, but the well crafted just flows without interuption or hesitation. I am very much enjoying your material. anon jerry
It would be lovely if you could build on this story and also let his best friend meet someone he could love. Besides I want to know how it went for him at the party...
Nicely written, go on please!
This is the third story I've read by you. I just can't stop!! I will continue reading things by you, but I'm afraid of running out!! Please write more! You kept me on the edge of my seat the whole time.
Nope, this is the end of this story. It's terrific, just leave it be. On the other hand, take a guy into life, not a guy named Peter Parker, something else, how does a nice, nerdy guy go about living over, say, the next two years? Finish school, summer, freshman year, second summer. There will be lots of us waiting.
It was so refreshing to read a story written by someone with intelligence! No grammatical errors or stupid spelling mistakes to be found. Also, your sense of humor is great. You are a very good writer and I am going to go read some more of your stuff!
Dear Stefan_J, loved your story, although I knew where the story was headed, I felt inclined to read it on for the way you wrote it. Bravo, keep up the good work, Best wishes.
I don't know if you're still around the site but this is one of the best stories I've read here.
A fantastic story. I would be interested to read what happens with Peter and Anna. Love is easy, relationships are hard. The story of Peter and Anna's first time could be a beautiful story, even with what he learned from Mary or perhaps because of it.
Even if you chose not to continue the story of Peter and Anna, you have writen an excellent story, the first I have ever left a comment on in the almost 3 years of reading stories on this site. Keep up the great work.
you're great. I read the top and just couldnt stop, and that's 'cos you're intelligent and humorous not like the half-educated fellas with hard-to-discern stories. Try writing on parker and ann, I'll be looking out for that. Kudos stefan.
This is a truly amazing story, being an author myself (though never having actually written erotic fiction), I must say 'Well done!' for producing such an amazing story. I absolutely loved the ending, and wouldn't mind seeing a sequel. I throughly enjoyed it.
Loved the story. Things aren't totally over the top and raunchy, and you're freaking funny.
Normally I wouldn't have given this title a second glance, but I figured since it was a week away from Halloween, I'd give it a shot. Very happy that I did. I absolutely loved this. A sequel would be awesome.
You go through all that and it ends with a ghostly encounter... I was loving the story until that. Really, so close.
As a Spider-Man fan I liked all the little touches. But I think it would have worked better if Anna was the one named after MJ and the dead girl was given a name reminiscent of Gwen Stacy (like, Jenn Tracy or something). I think it would have worked better thematically since Gwen died in the comics and MJ didn't, and Gwen was his first love and MJ was his second (which is even mentioned in the story).
That was an amazing story, somewhat inspiring, it's practically given me a new method to life.
Loved this story. I had a feeling she was a ghost but didn't want to believe it till I read it. Despite that I think this is a unique romance story and am satisfied with the ending. It'd be interesting if Mary possessed Anna to have some fun with Peter from time to time.
your 2nd story I've read-another 10/10
Like "The Last Nice Guy..." really LOVED the dialogue
It's mind-boggling to think of how many hum-drum stories are out here; then I run across yours and am pleased with every single one; even though they aren't necessarily to my own taste.
I wasn't sure if Mary was a Ghost, a Vampire, or a Werewolf; but actually wish that they could've pulled one of the voodoo type of events to have her come back as a living person. She broke the rules, did things that she wasn't supposed to do, changed his destiny in a way that wasn't preordained. I think that she ruined Peter for Anna.. Not only that but you didn't give them enough time together to let him deposit semen where it belonged.
I was actually crying when she had to leave; she deserved so much more out of life
Thanks;
DKP
also added to my ALL-TIME FAV bookmarks
I was led to this tale under the reccomendation of another, I am still not sure what I was expecting but whatever it was, was dashed by your fantastic story. So many elements hit home and when the end came around, I was in tears and filled with memories of one of my own first relationship which ended in a similar fashion. Overall, the story was fantastic and easily broke the measly expectations that I held for a story that I had never read. I believe my favorite part out of all of it however was the main character and his development, feeling as if this was a twisted telling of my own first time.
Accept for the sex part this was a perfect 'love story' that would have been suited for the Twilight Zone series back in the early 60's. Sadly, I knew where you were going as soon as the cemetery came into play. We all have 'angels' that watch over us but this angel was a little physical. Technically, you know, you can 'see' angels but you can't feel them but who is being technical, this is a fantasy. However of Mary has a friend....send her my way. Actually a very sweet love story reminiscent of the Movie "City of Angels". Angels falling in love with their charges. It would make a great TV movie script. Good Job. Now, where is the story about Anna and Peter? P.S. By the way: You can have sex with an angel in one way... it is called a "Wet Dream".
I loved this story. A touch of supernatural made this great. I was reluctant at first cause all the references too comics. Not that I'm not a fan, I am. Thought you used too much but the end made up for it. Keep working.
I wish you would add to your stories. It sad you stopped. Well done for all you have shared
So Virgin wimp boy gets some with a dead spirit slut. Sooo romantic...NOT!