This Was Going To Be The Last Time

That only served to further depress me. It just made me realize that I had lost another aspect of my life. Since I'd been so wild, when I was younger, a lot of people thought of me as a slut, but Danny had always though of me as a princess, or as his angel. If he doubted our kids' paternity it could only mean that he now saw me as a slut too. I thought about just taking the whole bottle of pills that Jane had brought me to help me sleep until Jane told me that he was coming over to have our talk. I needed to take a shower and clean myself up so he'd want me again. I needed to convince him that he didn't need to divorce me. I would do whatever he wanted for the rest of my life just to get him to stay with me.

After I got out of the shower and got dressed Randy brought a man into the living room. Randy said the man was a very good lawyer and would be representing me. I told Randy that I didn't need a lawyer but he insisted.

When Danny got there he was alone. He didn't have his lawyer with him. I wanted to send everyone away so we could talk alone. I wanted us to sit in the swing on our porch and for him to just hold me like he did when I was carrying his babies. That was the best feeling I ever had in my life. Why did I throw it away?

Danny said it was Okay for my lawyer and Randy and Jane to be there. Jane was nervous, she said that she and Randy shouldn't stay because this was personal business. But Danny wanted them and the lawyer to stay.

Danny told me that he loved me very much, but that he couldn't be with me anymore, because of what I'd done. I was concentrating on the he loved me part, but I did ask him how long it would take him to forgive me. When he said he could never trust me again so he didn't think we could ever get back together, That was when everything just started closing in around me. My lawyer suggested counseling, Danny said he didn't think it would work. My lawyer said the court could order it. Danny asked my lawyer if he knew the circumstances of the case. The lawyer admitted he didn't. That was when it got really bad. Danny recounted the whole thing including his meeting the next day with Joe. when the meeting was over Randy got up and packed his bags and left Jane also.

Jane got really angry and started crying and screaming at Danny. "I thought you said that if I helped you you wouldn't tell him," she screamed. Danny just laughed in her face and told her that she was no fucking help.

That was when I stopped talking, it was four months ago and our divorce will be final in 8 weeks and I haven't said a word to anyone since. Under the terms of the divorce Randy agreed to take care of me until I can take care of myself again. his insurance pays for the nurse and the doctors I see. Mostly there's nothing wrong with me, I simply decided not to talk to anyone until Danny forgives me. At least not publicly, Jane tried dating and tried to find another man, but first off she isn't getting any younger and her big old sagging titties just don't pull them in anymore. I guess there's no thrill for a guy to score with someone that anybody can fuck. Second she discovered that she was in love too, and Randy won't have anything to do with her.

Danny brings the kids by to visit me about once a week, he doesn't have to, he just does. Sometimes mom comes with them.

*****************

The day of my meeting with Cara and her lawyer was stressful for all of us. It had been my intention to put all of the details out in the open to let her know what I wanted and why. I ended up telling Randy and Cara's lawyer the whole story. Randy was upset and demanded to see the pictures, so I showed them to him. He thanked me, packed his bags and left. He divorced Jane, theirs was far quicker than mine. Maybe in her own way Cara really had loved me, she went into a very deep depression. I take the boys by to see her once a week without fail. One of the oddest things about the situation was that I needed someone to watch the boys after school and while I was at work. Who'd be better than their own grandmother?

Everything was going along great until I started to notice, that for a woman who was at least 10 years older than me, Sandy was far more attractive than I'd ever noticed. I'd heard the whole story about how Sandy had gotten pregnant when she was only 13 with Jane and her parent's pretended that Jane was Sandy's sister, but when she got pregnant again at 15, they threw her out of the house soon after the baby was born. Over the years she'd tried to see her kids again and again and when she was finally allowed to, their grandparents had so poisoned the girls against her that it was no use. Now that they were finally old enough she's hoped that they'd give her a chance but it had all gone to hell.

Over the months Sandy and I had gotten closer together until we both noticed that there was some sexual tension between us. One of the things I love the most about Sandy is her honesty.

"Oh good it's not just me," she said one morning. "Well I guess I should probably start looking for a place before something stupid happens."

"What are you talking about Sandy?" I asked her.

"Well for the past 10 years I've been celibate," she said. "But for the past month or so, I've been horny as hell. And I have to admit that I have feelings for you. But I'm your mother in law. And you are still married to my daughter, who is currently out of her mind with grief. You will still be married to her for 7 or 8 weeks legally, although technically you're a free man."

"Sandy what are you talking about?" I asked again.

"I just caught you looking down my shirt," she began. "A few minutes ago you were looking at my ass and my legs and you've got a tent in the front of your pants."

"Last night while we watched that stupid cartoon show with the kids, I caught you looking at me five times and when we made eye contact, I could tell then that you wanted me and not just for sex." she said. "You're happy again, probably not as happy as you were with my daughter, but it's like a great weight has been lifted off of your soul."

"I have the feeling that if we continue to live under the same roof, eventually and maybe not so eventually something stupid will happen, so I should probably move into my own place."

"Sandy, this is your own place," I said. "You're family, and there's more than enough room here for all of us. The boys love you, right now they're very confused about what's going on with their mom, and you help to fill that void. So for no other reason than that you should stay." I told her.

"And as to us, to be honest I have to admit that I do feel something for you. I probably have from the first minute you showed up. Maybe it's just becoming more obvious as the situation with Cara has begun to heal. I realize that there are problems here. The fact that I married your daughter is an 800 lb gorilla standing between us all the time. But to be really truthful, my relationship with Cara was over before you got into town. You did nothing to end it. That was all her doing. If you had shown up while we were still together, you would have seen that "Neither hell, or high water," could have separated us. But I guess our love wasn't flexible enough to stretch past five other guys' dicks." I looked into her eyes as I told her this.

"You should also know that no matter how I feel about you, even if in time this becomes even stronger than it is now, I'd never force you to do anything you weren't comfortable with."

There was a long silence and then she nodded her head. We were sitting on the couch at opposite ends both of our arms reaching towards each other but not touching. I had the feeling that we were going to take each others hands, it was a really powerful feeling that was shattered when Jane's loud voice said, "What the hell is going on here?"

We looked towards the doorway and there she stood looking at us.

"I come out here, hoping to talk to you, after all of the hell you've put us through, and I find you sitting here, trying to get romantic with the whore of Babylon." Shrieked Jane. I turned my head to face her, and in the coldest voice I could muster told her. "Jane, either calm down or get the fuck out of my house. No one invited you over here. I'm sick and tired of you constantly blaming other people for your shortcomings. You're always playing the victim when it seems like most of the time, you have a lot more to do with what's going on than people give you credit for. And, for you, calling someone else a whore? Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black?"

Jane just sat there with her mouth open. Then in a calm voice, she started speaking. "Danny, I know that you're almost divorced from Cara, but that's the key word here, almost. You're right when you say that I had more than I've let on to do with your break up and with my own. If I'd been doing my job and warned Cara that night, instead of trying to get some strange dick for myself, you never would have found out about her. And the two of you would have continued on as happy as you've always been. My sister is wasting away. They can keep her body healthy but her mind is just fading. Her doctors think that it's some form of guilt influenced break down. Some of them who know the whole story think that if you could find it in your heart to at least pretend to forgive her, it would do a lot to bring her back. Once she's healthy again, you can slowly break things off with her. I know it's a lot to ask, but could you please consider it?" she said looking at me.

"Danny, she wakes up in the middle of the night sometimes and calls out for you. Other than that I haven't heard her say a single fucking word since the meeting with her lawyer when you told her you were divorcing her. Please Danny, she gave you 8 good years and even though she wasn't totally honest with you, the only times she ever cheated on you was at those stupid parties. I know she made you happy too, so isn't 8 years of happiness worth a few weeks of play acting. Besides shouldn't you at least spend some time around her to see if you're really done with her as well. You don't look like yourself or act like yourself anymore either. As angry as you are at her, you look like there's a piece of your soul missing too. Well, I've said everything I came to say and I'm sorry for interrupting whatever was going on here." Jane turned and left, as quickly and as quietly as she came. Needless to say the mood around the house was different after that.

It was the next morning that Sandy brought it up.

"Danny I think that you need to do this," she said without preamble. I was having breakfast before I went to work and the boys were watching yet another early morning cartoon show.

"Your room or mine?" I asked, "But shouldn't we wait until the boys are asleep?"

"Not that silly," she said seriously, "But if there's any chance for that, if it is something real, then it can wait a few weeks. Jane is a bitch. I can say that because I'm her mother, and because there was a time when I was just as big a slut and a bitch as she is now. I'll have to tell you about that some time. But bitch or not she was right about 2 things. Number one even if your marriage wasn't good, though I know it was. I think that we owe it to Cara to give her the chance to get better, if only so you aren't saddled with her medical costs for the rest of our lives. But also because if, and right now I'm just saying if, there is going to be an us, as in you and me, This thing with you and Cara should be settled. Jane the bitch was right again when she said that there's some part of you that's missing. In order for us to go forward, I need to have you whole and complete; not still looking back and wondering what could have been or comparing me to my daughter every time we have an issue."

"And I know out of all of us, you're the one that this will be the hardest on," she said. "Jane will get Cara out of her house for a while. I'll get to spend at least some kind of time with one of my daughters, and even the boys will have their mother or what's left of her back for a little bit. You're the one this will hurt the most. We'd be forcing you to spend some very close time with the person who hurt you more than anyone else ever has, but she'd also the person you loved more than anyone else, so maybe we can see what's really meant to be." As she said this she loaded up my plate with more bacon.

The next day was a Saturday, I got up early and before I could leave the house I ran into Sandy who was as usual making a huge breakfast for me and the boys. She caught me looking at her, as usual and came over. I don't know what I was expecting from her but what I got wasn't it. She hugged me tightly and her warm, soft body pressed against mine produced instant results.

"I just want to thank you for trying this," she told me.

"If this is the kind of thanks I can look forward to, I'll try something every day," I laughed. She shyly moved away from me.

"Danny sit down, for a moment," she said. "I don't know what's going to happen with you and Cara. I really hope for my daughter's sake that while she's here she comes out of her break down or whatever it is. And that you guys can get back together. I really believe that she loves you, and I hope for the best for you two. But if it doesn't work out that way, I'm ready to give us a try. But I have to warn you of a few things. First off I'm probably part of the reason my girls are the way they are. I was the same way when I was their ages and younger. So you won't be getting someone who's as pure as the driven snow. But I went through so many things that were direct results of my behavior and lifestyle and in the end had nothing to show for it. It got so bad that guys would just show up and expect to fuck me and just leave afterwards. I didn't have any friends and I had already lost my family. When I finally got sick, I had no one to call."

"I took a long hard look at my life, and noticed that I didn't have one. Everyone I knew was married or in a long relationship. The stupid thing was a lot of the women were jealous of me. I couldn't figure out why. Oh yeah every time there was a party, I'd have guys all around me, but they were only there for one reason. They didn't want to have a conversation with me, or talk to me about my day or spend any time with me. They actually didn't want me at all. They only wanted on tiny part of me. So I just decided to give up sex. And after that, even when I went to the parties once the word got around that I wasn't putting out any more, I was pretty lonely at the parties too."

"I know what I want out of life and out of a relationship now, I want what you had with my daughter. I want what you and I have now only with a little bit...Okay a lot more intimacy. I love it when you come home and ask me about my day and tell me about yours. In my entire life you're the first man who has ever wanted to get o know more than my pussy. I love it when you go out there and wash that fucking car that you washed the day before even though there isn't a spot on it, while I make dinner. I even like it when you think I'm not looking and you try to look through the openings in the legs of my shorts from under the car. I really love it when we sit there under a blanket and eat ice cream while my grandsons fall asleep in front of the TV. And I'm looking forward to the day when we go to bed in the same room after we put them to sleep in theirs." She took my hand as she said all of this.

"Danny, I might not be the best woman in the world, I might not even be the best woman in the world for you. We might have a whole hell of a lot of problems that we can't even foresee, but I promise you, that if things don't work out for you and Cara, that I'll be the most faithful woman you ever had. You won't ever have to worry about me cheating on you. I learned the hard way, that there's a big difference between love and sex, and I know which one I need for the rest of my life."

"Holy shit!" I said, "Sandy why would you tell me this now?" I had to stand up and move away from her. She laughed as I tried to push my erection back down.

"I just don't understand women. You know what I have to do today. You also know that the only reason I'm even trying this is because you want me to. I've told you just like I told everyone else, my marriage to Cara will be legally over in a few weeks. There was no hope for us from the first second I saw her in that room with all of those guys. So for the next few weeks I'll have to play act around her while all the while I'll have the hots for you. This is not going to be easy."

She reached out to give me another hug, and I backed away. "Oh no, I'm scared to see what might happen if I go over to get Cara with a hard-on. I blew her a kiss and she made a big dramatic act out of catching it and placing it on her lips.

I drove into Jane's driveway with a smile on my lips and a song in my heart. Oh shit I thought, as I remembered what happened last time I was here and was this fucking happy.

Jane opened the door and smiled at me. Then she just led me back to the room that Cara was staying in. Cara sat there on the edge of the bed. She saw me come into the room and watched my every movement. I saw her head turn to follow me as I looked around the room. This would be different. usually when I took the boys to visit, I just stayed in the car. I literally hadn't spoken to her since the meeting.

"Cara honey, we're going home, if that's okay with you," I said. Jane and I watched as she smiled a little and her eyes got just a bit brighter. I held out my hands and surprisingly she stood up and came over to me. I didn't know how long she'd stay or even if this would work so I only packed a few outfits for her.

Over the next few weeks Cara stayed in the house with me, Sandy and the boys. During the day she sat quietly and watched the boys, and watched Sandy. In the evening she took to following me around wherever I went. At night she slept in the bed with me usually by morning we'd be next to each other. Then one morning she grabbed my arm as I started to get out of bed, and said "No." It was the first word that she'd said in weeks. I called the doctors later that day and told them about it. They agreed that it was a big break through. I was beginning to count down the days until this charade would end and I could be with Sandy.

The next morning I woke up and Cara was wrapped around me, her arms around my waist and even one of her legs thrown over mine. Her nightgown had risen to accommodate the leg position and I could see everything she had to offer. I smiled at her as I got out of bed and she pouted a little bit, it was another small step forward. The following morning was an even bigger step. I always went to bed facing away from Cara. I faced the windows when I slept and usually there was about a foot left between me and the edge. when I woke up that morning Cara had obviously gotten out of bed and came around to the other side of me. I was spooned up against her with my arms around her. My right arm, the one on top was cupping one of her breasts and her hand was on top of mine. she was pressing her ass back into my morning wood gently. My other hand was clasped inside of hers. She smiled at me as I opened my eyes. "Hi," she said.

It was another big step, and I could see which way the steps were headed, the problem was that it wasn't anywhere that I wanted to go.

Cara's therapist thought it was incredible. He said that she was slowly trying to re-establish some kind of intimacy, and through it normalcy in her life. Since sex had destroyed our relationship, perhaps it could mend it as well.

I told him that it wouldn't ever happen. He warned me against outright refusing her because it might lead to a set-back and none of us wanted that. Sandy agreed with him, but I could tell her heart wasn't in it.