All Comments on 'Time to Think Ch. 02'

this story just went into the shitter.

and WAIT is the hardest one. TK U MLJ LV NV

I started to dislike this guy Thomas and changed my view on Sandra. So I forsee the story taking a different direction than expected. Very interesting. So this chapter makes a ****

for me.

getting cornholed on a train?

Deserves a "1" for the dozens of errors making this nearly impossible to read and totally impossible to enjoy.

Really.

You may want to slow down the major changes just a bit by adding a little more detailed background. I like your creativity very much, so please keep writing.

One request to Tazz what do all of the initials mean? I get TK as thank. But most of the rest are beyond someone like me who does not text. Tnk U.

wow this is sooooooooooo bad....

Want-A-Be.

I would have asked Hindsight2020 if he wanted to job of editing my work but his profile won't take comments, with name or anonymous.

Didn't want to put him on the spot but I would be happy to have an editor. Writing is much more fun to me than editing.

WantABWrtier

Oh I do have novel published. It was out in the 28th of Sept. I still haven't had a comment on it, good, bad or ugly. Where are all my fans when I need them?

Jack

Very enjoyable and fast moving story. Only the desire for more details makes it too fast.

Errors and ommissions hardly make for impossible reading. Test prove this. Unless of course you are looking for errors and something to criticize. That does make for "impossible" reading.

Keep writing.

This chapter seems to be jumping around without any tie in. I hope future chapters will link it all together.

The errors did not affect readability and I can't remember any of them now.

Before you ask, I don't want to be an editor. ;-)

Interesting scenes that are well written but seemingly thrown together with no connection. Where is the segway? Did I miss something. I also must ask what is up with the BDSM scene and where does it fit in your story line?

This story is not flowing smoothingly. Sorry.

Thank you for sharing your story. But please try to pull together the overabundance of loose ends.

Well, thats a fun group of fetish lesbians, ought to make the TTB crowd happy, especially the hot peppers. Very interested in your ending, remorse and foegiveness, more self abuse driven by her guilt? Thanks for writing

she started the mess.

should I read a telephonebook instead ?

This is the only one of your stories that I have read to this point. I'm interested to see how Sandra and Thomas are brought back into the same story. After two chapters, we still don't know very much about Thomas. Well, we do know that he has cancer, I guess.

Thanks for sharing the story.

MissouriUSA

One of those maze storys????????

How do you say that a story is well written but the story doesn't make sense? I really hope you can explain why hubby was so indifferent towards his wife to the point she cheated on him but is now sporting a different teenie bopper on his arm at every family gathering and what made him hire a private detective to follow her. I can sort of see the reason for the BDSM scene. It was her way of accepting punishment for the cheating and drinking. There should have been a little more lead in to that scene though. I was confused as to what the Green Door was for a while. Hope you can pull this together before the end.

Mike

If ever there was someone in need of an editor it is you.

Not enough to cause trouble when reading though.

Sad times for the slut, and it's a shame that Thomas has turned into a hard ass.

I just wonder how Sandra will screw up her life in the near future.

Thanks for the read.

You newer will be !!

dont omit the most important part...Yourself. TK U MLJ LV NV

But interesting enough to continue reading. Curious to see about Thomas in the northwest. Lost interest in Sandra a long time ago. She could drop dead. She cheated and started everything.

I got the self punishment part - like atonement - but was a little disjointed.

You are certainly not writing a conventional storyline and I give you credit fit originality. The approach though is a little unsatisfying. You have given the reader quite a window on the life of Sandra and I can understand her descent. Then comes Thomas, from out of nowhere. Up to this point he was merely words on a page telling his wife he is leaving. And now he takes front and center without any perspective regarding his past feelings and behavior. He was absent during the most important part of this story. What you have managed to do is create two characters with which I have little sympathy.

To paraphrase Velvet Jones "My honor the bitch be stupid." She sits in her friend's home drinking for 6 months then expects a job to be waiting for her drunk ass. Mo fo please. The rest was just as ridiculous.

To paraphrase Velvet Jones "My honor the bitch be stupid." She sits in her friend's home drinking for 6 months then expects a job to be waiting for her drunk ass. Mo fo please. The rest was just as ridiculous.

Oh yea up next the reconcilliation.

Potentially good things marred by the lack of those.

He is driven and merciless - now fate will make him needy??

She was stupid but now is driven - will she be merciful?

You need an editor but you think well -

you should have thought you were to be in for a world of Shit, TK U MLJ LV NV

It seems we have a lot of different things happening at the same time. Almost over. On to the final chapter...

The ex-husband is too cowardly to allow the ex-wife to be at their daughter's wedding? I would have expected him to man up but gay men deep in the closet do tend to act irrationally and self-destructively.

I expect he will wind a BTB troll ranting and raving with the other spelunking queers infesting this site.

And how did his boss find out about the medical diagnosis? Or, alternatively, that a substantial percent of ownership shareholders are considering Thomas to replace Allen as CEO. And the crafty old fox is launching a preemptive strike?

The ex-husband is too cowardly to allow the ex-wife to be at their daughter's wedding? I would have expected him to man up but gay men deep in the closet do tend to act irrationally and self-destructively.

"But what about all those paid escorts?" Look up the term 'beard'. There is very little acceptance of public homosexuality among the business executive class.

I expect he will wind one of the many BTB trolls ranting and raving with the rest of the spelunking fraternity infesting this site.

And how did his boss find out about the medical diagnosis? Or, alternatively, that a substantial percent of ownership shareholders are considering Thomas to replace Allen as CEO. Is the crafty old fox launching a preemptive strike?

RACC would be an expression of deep-rooted masochism by both Thomas and Sandra.

Aside from the already mentioned screaming need for editing and proofreading there is one serious flaw.

The company "changed hands" and when she went back to them for her job they would not hire her back.

So why would they give her a "glowing" recommendation if they didn't think she was worth hiring?

COULD be a LW chapter. I've complained about WABW's proofreading needs. Surprisingly, this chapter was better than the first in that regard. And the first chapter wasn't as gawd awful as I remember from previous stories. Clearly, we are headed for RAAC. I can't imagine how the author is going to convince me that is the correct result. If it is RAAC, WABW is as bad as Matt Moreau.

because now comes the BUT....IF.....We Think etc TK U MLJ LV NV

sorry but this is stopid allen should be bussnis savy and he makes an company ending move like that dude only a 2 jear old would ever do something so fucking stopid as this

How is he gay because he never wants to see an unfaithful whore of an ex wife? She had no reason to cheat NONE. did she ever talk to him about whatever was lacking on their sex life , nope she went and fucked around. Sorry I wouldn't want her there either and would do the same. A childhood friends daughter got married, he told her no parents of the bride dance nor would he accept her mother bringing the asshole she cheated with to the wedding period. His daughter backed him to the hilt, and I think rightly so. If you do nothing to solve any perceived problems and go cheat you deserve no kindness consideration nor cordial words at all end of story.

Although doctors who work for corporations have taken the Hippocratic Oath, their true allegiance is to company and keeping employees' medical costs down.

I have personally known or been involved with a number of cases where a person's private doctor's prognosis was completely at odds with the company. Lawsuits proved the company and its doctor in cahoots regarding fraudulent examination reports.

One such case a wife and expectant mother was given choice of termination or accepting company doctor's evaluation. Coerced she kept working and subsequently lost baby and her life. Though the lawsuit drug on for years eventually her husband prevailed. Millions of dollars, firing of executives, doctor lost license and spent time in prison

I'm not able to follow this very well, but I'll risk another chapter to see if I can catch up.

Apparently I read, or skimmed this, two years ago, but I don’t recall it. This chapter does not have much to do with chapter one at all.

I still believe the husband is to blame for the wife's vulnerability to being seduced, if he can go after all those other women why did he neglect and ignore a wife who supposedly was trying to get him into a romantic mood with her?

She only got in trouble because the husband was doing his job (at home) only a complete idiot doesn't respond to an attractive, loving, amorous wife. Was he trying to drive her to cheat so he could get rid of her?

Because he was making so much money for the company he was named CEO but then relegated to the dark hole of Spokane?? This seems to be going off the rails.

You know your a cunt when you blame the husband not the wife for cheating.

Not sure the purpose of this chapter, added nothing to the story.

Waste of time.

Wait, since weird things I'm this chapter.... Sissy from the obvious....

He's CEO, why are they sending him to head a regional office? There are a few companies with multiple CEOs, by division, but still....

Then, he's a right ynt fitting his daughter from inviting her mom to the wedding. I get he was cheated on, but that's just wrong. If the daughter didn't want her there that's fine but Even if he's paying, forbidding it is just wrong.

Ok, wish you could edit after hitting post...

Fixing previous post:

COMMENTS

Okay, some weird things in I'm this chapter.... Apart from the obvious....

He's CEO, why are they sending him to head a regional office? There are a few companies with multiple CEOs, by division, but still....

Then, he's a right cunt forbidding his daughter from inviting her mom to the wedding. I get he was cheated on, but that's just wrong. If the daughter didn't want her there that's fine but Even if he's paying, forbidding it is just wrong.