All Comments on 'To Protect and Serve Ch. 12'

I've read this story twice now and think would great for a follow on story or two although I haven't found any later story's anywhere else.

This is a great story would love to see you write a book 2 maybe see how everyone is few years down the road . Buy you had my hooked all the way thank you for a great read

Great story and great writing. I'm hoping that this isn't the end of this story line. I have read much worse in the commercial market. I skip over most of the sex in the story as it isn't of much interest, but what parts I've read of it, it is well written. I would encourage you to continue writing this story and even look at taking it to the retail market. Congratulations on a great job and hope you continue producing work like this.

Thank you for sharing this story with us

Thank you for publishing that wonderfful story. I like it a lot and just see a view things slip. There are some questions open like what about the health&blood of Shamiras donors Kira and Arthur? What happend/changed to Shamira after drinking the oldest, 900 Jears old blood from Shanes creator? If Shamiras sister dating an werewolf, beeing Shamira Vampire and Dragon-Shapeshifter, why not telling their parents so they dont need to grieve for their dead doughter? Just some thaugts to an great story.. 5stars.

Top story. Top writer. Top imagination.

This is a very well conceived story line with well developed characters. There is plenty of action, romance, & much varied sexual adventure. I also noted a clear political leftist slant which I much appreciated - especially the political humor! However, please work on editing your word choices& spelling. This was the only distraction I noted.

Second time reading this one . . .

STILL love it!

Katzkin

Brilliant!

Outstanding story, plot lines and, a wonderful climax!!!!!

I just finished reading this story and thoroughly enjoyed it. I could do with some editing (grammar and spelling), but the story itself was so great that I was able to just skip over the editing misses.

I do hope that you'll consider writing more and posting it here. That's all of my comments for now - I have to start reading one of the other stories that you've posted.

Thanks.

Great story. I am not a big fan of bdsm but the story beyond the sex is very well done. Hope you revisit this world you created in the future.

loved it

Masterpiece ...... Your creations of the dark, dark breeds, your unbelievable creativity in all of your tales, your talent to touch hearts or bring laughter to surface or sending touching wisdom with sentences, this is extraordinary talent ...".... And thank you for shharing

GREAT STORY

I've been reading this the past day and a half and I didn't and don't like women being treated like a piece of meat or toys for men to fuck with whenever they felt like it. I also didn't like the hetro sex and still don't. What I did like was the bloody awesome characters. The amazing different breeds of characters. I absolutely loved the story. The journey Shamira took from human cop to vampire to Shadow Wing... wow. Even though there was some things I hated, this is incredible. Never will be forgotten and I may even read it again.

This was the second time reading this and still hoping for more chapters but maybe with more story than sex. I know it's a sex site but the base story is brilliant.

Loved the journey, disappointed it's over. Hope there's more to come.

You should fire your proof reader though or add a few more. There were a number of missing or extra words and character name switches which.

Seriously amazing. I love this story so much.

I want to believe people aren't as dumb and self-absorbed as the characters in this are but... well, the world proves my faith in humanity is misplaced. I say it was worth the read because I made it through all parts and enjoyed it in spite of many times me grimacing at how poorly situations were handled. At least, in most cases, the writing of those situations was well done.

My only other complaint is editing. Tons of typos throughout the series. Most were brought up by an editor / proofreader, but were not resolved before posting.

You have a great imagination! Too bad you are so petty as to inject your politics into it. That only detracted from the fantasy.

I hated the torture scene, and a few other things were decidedly unpleasant, but I truly love how it ends

I figured Shamira was gonna end up on the Tribunal, but even though she's powerful she's still too young and got too much to do. It's good that it was the leader of the 'lesser' dragons.

Fun all round.

I occasionally come back to this and it's still wonderful to re-read.

Are you going to be writing any more about this?i would love to read more of this story and of the characters. Maybe Shane can find a true love or something juicy. Thanks for writing this story bc I truly enjoyed it.

For starters, I didn't like the brutal BDSM or the supra-kinky stuff (but then, I never have cared for them and it's highly unlikely I ever will). After Chapter 1, I skipped all that stuff. So, we'll brush that aside and sweep it under the carpet. What are we left with? Well, we're left with one of the best fantasy novels I've read in a long time. I read it in two sittings (I was tempted to read it through in one go but at my age I need my sleep). You gave it your all and it worked---the story had everything needed to hold the reader enthralled. Get rid of the excessive stuff and this story could easily go mainstream. I rest my case.

Wouldn't the lycanthropes eating the aids-ghoul creampies out of Shamalamadingdong's cooch come down with HIV or do vampires have magic irradiating sex boxes that kill the virus?

It's a 5* story, but no one is asking the hard questions...

I found it a bit hard to picture your heroine being so submissive but the overall story...just perfect.

Incredibly enjoyable tale from start to finish

thankyou for a fantastic story

stries like this keep me up late and in my chair all day.really enjoyed it.

please write some more.

paps

I loved every minute of this story! I would read until I fell asleep, then pick it right back up the moment I opened my eyes! This would be an awesome movie and even a trilogy!

Thank you for this story. It has been an amazing read, and I might have stayed up longer than I should have just because I wanted to finish the chapter... and the next one! :-)

I have read a lot of stories on this site and this one is in my top five number ones. This story was so well put together and flowed so nicely. Your excellent blending of the story with erotica was masterful and kept me reading and wanting more. You're an outstanding writer and I look forward to reading more of your work.

this story could literally be a prequel to the sookie stackhouse books. It is just so well written I can't help but love it

I read many stories on Literotica, preferring the "story" based plots, far more than the pure erotica. This One is the best yet. A splendid read with great characters. Thank you to ' Evil Alpaca' and I look forward to the next story.

I found myself skipping thru a lot of the sex just so I could find out what would happen next!

It is but far the best SciFy series. Fantastic

Best story i have ever read on literotica.com and a great all around piece of fantasy

Let's get the negative stuff out of the way up front.... the editing was weak and detracted from the readability of a well-developed plot with believable characters, even though we're talking magical folk for the most part.

I am not typically a fan of lesbian sex or violent sex, and there was plenty of both, but the author did a great job of focusing on relationships rather than just slam bam, thank you ma'am screwing.

I will miss this cast of characters and wish them well in their alternate universe.

99% of the time, Porn With Plot is terrible shit.

But that's okay, since this is Plot With Porn, and is excellent. It's biggest problem is that the writer hasn't put anything up in like three years. :(

One of the greatest stories I've ever read, and trust me I read alot of books. No book, short story, or anything written is compared to this series. Really should make a sequel to the story. Personally I'd like to find out what happens next.

Really great story, enjoyed every minute of it.

I am hoping there will be a sequel :-)

Maybe its just me but in my mind I pictured Shamira as looking like late 1990s wwe wrestler Chyna!! Great story, I'm not into bondage dtuff, I just read for the awesome story!!!!

First of all I wanted to say that I hate you Evil Alpaca! You forced me to read all those chapters in 2 days! Can you imagine how usefull I could have used thay time?!!

All kiding aside, I loved your story. I was hooked since the first chapter and I couldnt put it away.

I recommend this story to anybody who likes fantasy and a good plot (and awesome written sex scenes).

So good I had to reread several parts twice. Enjoyed everything especially the bondage and relationship between Clara and shamira.

I had to read the entire series before commenting. Very well written, very well done. You have a knack for this and even though I am not a big BDSM Fan, you did a very good job with it. I can't wait to read your other work. I just wish you were still writing on this site.

As I progressed through the chapters I ended up scrolling through all the BDSM. I'm not into BDSM at all but even I can tell it was out of balance. Great story, just had to scroll through all the bondage to get to it.

super awsum story hats off to evil alpaca . everythng in this series was great . good controlled buildup and yes sex was great i cummed thrice imaging those sex scenes wonderful work should get a erotic booker prize! :D

This story was not I thought it was going to be. So much more. I've read an insane amount of books in my life, and this is easily one of the best narratives I have ever read! Encore!

I must commend you on such a well written fantasy. Every question was answered mo matter how far along we ventured to the next story, you were not right. I truly enjoyed every bit of your work was awesome. Thank you so much for. The invite!!!

Wonderful! Please write some more about these characters. I've really enjoyed reading this series.

Thank you so much for this story! However I hope this isn't the end....hopefully a new beginning.

Is there more to this story anywhere? And your proofreader didnt do the best of jobs, still a lot of mistakes.

A.J.

Please can I haz moar? I wanna know what happens after they reveal themselves!! D:

Its stories like this that got me into reading, and I wish this didn't end on the 12th chapter. (Not counting The Best Medicine of course!)

my favorite story on here for a fact, really wish u wud continue the story , i wud luv to see mor of the dragons and interaction with the humans

Another one I couldn't put down.

I throughly enjoyed this series. You're a magnificent writer. Thank you so much for sharing.

Of course e continued this story.

Although it's not focused on Shamira, she's in there and it's still her world.

Its called The Best Medicine.

Very good to.

Thanks e for this story, I continue to read it many times over.

B xx

Is this all there is?...or is this all that you are going to put on here?

Because like mokkelke said "there is so much more you could keep on telling to keep us emerged in this world you created."

i really enjoyed this story a lot, beautiful work. The characters are mostly feeling alive (well as alive as undead can be). I even enjoyed the dom/sub relations, even as i am normally not too much into that kind of thing (allthough from my understanding the subs should hold a bit more control)

i especially enjoyed the love between shamira and clara and how the latter even felt the need to sometimes break out of her role to just love shamira....

If i have one regret about this story its the fact that it came to an end (allthough all good things have to it seems).

Still i hope against all hope that you write a sequel at some point, picking up on the story of their love and the (certainly interesting an obstacle-rich) journey of the revealing to the public....

this was a joy to read and i'm really sad it's ended now. there is so much more you could keep on telling to keep us emerged in this world you created.

amazing, exciting, beautiful, fantastic and every other word of compliment you can think of! i absolutely love this story! it is DEFINITELY one of my favorites.

i absolutly loved the story. You did really well at not just the writing itself but the ideas and imagination you must have really came through here. I really cant think of anything i DIDNT like about the story. I find myself asking if its complete or not, not because the ending, but because frankly, i'd LOVE to read more of this. Once again, great job!

Awesome, awesome, AWESOME story! I feel like it's at least twice the length of a normal novel because it took me a full day to read (either that or the double vision from staring at the screen cut my reading pace by 75%). Totally worth it!

I can't get over how much I love the characters and how I really felt for them as they were going through everything. I've also gotta say that I'm glad that you didn't draw out the torture scene TOO too much because I'm not much for that.

Intricate, layered plot with interesting characters that we can get invested in. I noticed someone said that they're not into S&M and that's fair, not everyone is, but sexual appetites aside, it was still captivatingly written. Suspensful and fun. Well done.

~Sylvie

A great read! You skillfully manged to bring together dragons, action and some very sexy BDSM scenes. I will read this story over and over. Thank you for sharing your talent with us.

Well done. A VERY good read

I am a very critical reader, but I could hardly find one thing wrong with this story! Absolutely fabulous. You made me laugh and cry and filled me with joy. Congratulations on a fantasticly written story.

I thank you so much for this story! I love your language and characters. As for the language, some of the metaphors made me laugh out loud in front of the pc, e.g. the comparison of the hummer with a whale on a skateboard.

And I absolutely loved what you did with Kira and Arthur, you actually made me cry a little while reading about them and I'm a grown man.

Again, thank you so much for sharing your work!

first off i have to say this was a good story. very original. HOWEVER its not as good as some of your other stories. i am not a fan of BDSM, never have been, i think that you over did the whole dom/sub thing. you made the doms way to controlling, and agressive, it seemed to me that you gave all the power to the doms, in a relation ship like that the subs have the power. and i felt that all the doms except clara were only interested in hurting and humiliating their subs. other than that it has a good plot, shamira was a good main char, and i loved clara except for the whole dom thing. i would like to see both back in another story only with their relationship, more focused on eachother and less on sharing. i do have to say i was very very shocked when shamira turned out to be the sub, i really thought she would be dom. well im off to read the next series by you. all in all your my favorite erotic author. keep up the good work

Another well done story. Wouldn't mind seeing a sequel to this story either. If I may ask, do you have another story in the works and what is it about?

A few points of criticism for otherwise stellar writing:

1) For such a fine writer you occasionally shoe-horn in too much sex, such that it impedes the narrative flow or doesn't serve the story, instead making the story serve it (kinda like PWP). Frankly put: a reader shouldn't be skipping (or want to skip) a sex scene just so they can get back to reading a really good story (I did a few times).

2) One of the hallmarks of "true" BDSM is that the Sub has the power in the relationship, and that the Dom's job is to serve (which is odd when you think about titles in this power play, no?). However, I never got the impression that Shamira -nor other Subs in the story- ever really had any. Granted you did very well sticking with the hallmarks of Safe, Sane, and Consensual, really driving those points home all along the narrative, but with the power dynamic within the house/organization... I never got the sense it was truly there, i.e. Dom's or switches typically held all positions of organizational power/authority with the subs being the grunts or Lts. (with Alessandra being the only exception).

Shane is a prime of example of this, especially with how he asserted his dominance on others similar to how pack animals might. Dom or sub, the relationship should still be based between equals (not necessarily of power or status or wealth, but equals. Shane never had an equal.

It all felt very dom-gratification-centric or exploitative.

Sexual politics and Organizational politics don't mix, or rather, where does one end and the other begin? I'd argue, in that kind of enmeshed system, they don't. How do you separate the two?

3) Shane... Normally I love the characters you create; they're real (even when they're magical). However, Shane came off as your typical Chick Lit./Harlequin Romance Male lead: a boring/flat and one-dimensional character whose only remarkable in the sense that he's super wealthy, super powerful, dominant and "perfect" in nearly all ways (like a self-insertion character fantasy).

Of all the major characters he really had no arc, no growth or depth. The Shane we met in the beginning was the same Shane at the end, I'd argue; nauseatingly perfect.

There was also something about his relationship dynamic with other characters that... I never got the impression he truly cared for them beyond what they could do for him or their role in serving him or his ends. What's more, no character was ever superior to him. Even his own sire, Alessandra, one of the most powerful vamps on the planet played like a second fiddle next to him. I never bought that she was his boss, nor did the story convince me of that.

All that said, it was still a very fine series. It is always a treat to read new offerings from you.

Your work is simply amazing, and in my opinion,you should have it published. I am not a big fan of sub/dom or bdsm, but the storyline and the overall development of your characters made me think of them as being real persons, and i was actually comparing my friends to your characters. It is an amazing piece of work, and thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing it with us.

im going to die because this A-MAZING series is over!!!!

i lOOOOOOOOOOved the WHOLE thing, absolutely EVERY SINGLE PART!

holy shit that was amzing, i cant even beleive its done!!

I read it all in one day,a whole day mind you,but couldnt stop reading it,thank you,,

...with telling EA here to publish their work is that they would no longer be able to post that work on Lit. Something to think about.

Great tale. I'm a little annoyed with your proof reader on this one they missed a few things, but it didn't really detract from the story. I look forward to starting Flying Blind tomorrow. Although I may wait until after the weekend. If it's as good as this, it will pain me to have to leave it behind when I go camping...

Just read this for the second time and just as before it's one of my favorite stories. It should definitely be published!!!!!

I have to say this.

Your stories, specifically this one, are amazing.

Yes, the sex is great but there is SO MUCH character development! It's glorious!

You can really connect with the characters, I know more than once I got chills along my back reading reactions, imagining the scenes, little thrills of excitement and rage at the smallest things. Although some things were a little too fantasy/rushed for me, (Jonas popping out in a portal of flames and then getting destroyed in under 2 paragraphs) the rest was flawless.

If there is one thing that I thought your stories needed, it was a sense of realism. And I know thats the most absurd thing I could say- but something that's been bugging me was the faeries method of communication, sexual or blood energy.

Although cleverly executed, the idea of using sexual energy seemed just over the top. Like, a little /too/ convenient.

To be honest, I think I'm just TRYING to find something wrong with your work :P

Fantastic.

If you haven't already, pursue a career/hobby in writing (published works, I mean.) You'll go places!

Need more be said. One of the best stories I've read up here.

Thank you! What a long, exciting and satisfying story.

i wish your stories were longer - i hate to say goodbye to your characters ;O)

thanks, andy

Is THank You.

Out of everything I've read on Lit your work has been at the top of my list of favorites.

It's debatable whether this or breathless is my number one, but either way i would absolutely love to read more about shamira & the others.

Thanks again I hope you have another urge to write alot soon!!!

Reading your work, I am left hoping for more.

This was by far the most satisfying conclusion to this series that I could possibly have wished for. Thank you so very much.

As usual, an amazing work. Having just spent the last three hours reading the entire series in one sitting, I'm not really sure what to say other than wow. I look forward to your next installment, and my only advice is to keep doing what you're doing. A heartfelt ovation to my favorite author here.

OMG, The best story that I have ever read! Amazing! If you ever publish it, I want to buy a copy for sure!! I hope that you are able to some how top this with a second story.

I loved the detail of the characters, the cultures and overall the amount of detail and care that was put into this story. God I hope that you write more!!

LOVED IT

This should be published!! This "Tale" of a heroin and her experience would sit at the top of the best seller list for ever. Don't believe me think of all the "Vampire" stories abounding with less than half the content. Amazing work!

Well... it seems that, somehow, I didn't leave a review on here the last time I read this. I just have to say, it was even better the second time around. If I could offer one small bit of constructive criticism, it would be simply to watch your keystrokes. I picked up a few words here and there that wouldn't show up as spelling errors, but did kinda leave me scratching my head.

I'm waiting with baited breath to see what you come up with next ^_^

I just want to know When the next chap is comeing out. b/c if there isnt one im just going to have to cry

I read the whole series & love the end of it. It truly Lovely & fantastic one

Can't wait for the next one and yes this deserves to be published. If Anne Rice can publish her erotic trilogy based on Sleeping Beauty (my second favourite author at the moment) so can you. Hers was published by Plume, a division of Penguin Putnam Inc. I would love to see this in print. I hope you follow up on these suggestions. And I loved the BDSM, it was a nice touch. But it is my thing and not everyone else's.

Please tell me you are trying to get published! If you ever do, let us know!

Just loved it, enjoyed every word, thank you for sharing.

I greatly enjoy your writing. The long stories allow for character development and you do that well. Is there anywhere where I can buy your work?

Glad to see you are still writing; I enjoyed this story as I have many of your past ones. There were some technical nitpicks here and there but not enough to detract from the story. You definitely have a great talent for the fantasy-erotica-adventure-with-a-heart-of-gold niche! I'm wondering, have you ever considered writing a sci-fi themed story? Perhaps it's not a genre that interests you as much as the more magical realms, but I'm curious to know what you'd do with it. Again, thanks for an entertaining read and I hope you'll have time to bring us more.

Very good story indeed. Hope you will write more in this setting

Thanks you for your talent, and for the enjoyment you gave me.

This was a very good tale to read, and even though I'm really not into BDSM, i found it very arousing.

Again, thank you!

When you get tired of the silly ass sex shit, just scroll through it. This is a great story and well worth a read. Main stream author here and just about all of her stories are rough diamonds. Enjoy! Oh, and Alpaca, someday, you're gonna make a publisher rich!

Masterpiece! This is only the second time I have used this word to descibe a story. The first was "The Debt Collector". This needs dead tree publishing. R