All Comments on 'Todd's Dream Date Ch. 01'

Great start to your series.

sick story, but i like it. he was afraid if he told his mom that he was his son that she wouldnt fuck him. But he thought that once that he had fucked her so good and then he laughed at her and told her that she fucked good for a whore, and then tell her that he was her son, then he presumed that she would want to fuck him some more. because when she applied for the job she stated that she liked only men who called her a whore, anyway a whore cant be embarrassed.

I'm only going to comment on the writing (as I think this is a decent premise for a story). You need to take the time to proofread the story out loud, to yourself, to find your mistakes. I don't know about other readers, but the writing mistakes kept this chapter from being five stars, as I had to go back and reread sentences, and edit around the mistakes in my head. Take time to proofread before hitting the submssion button on the next chapter.

excellent start please continue it I feel you have the makings of a great series

My own mother can spot her sons (my brother and I) in a ballgame without knowing our numbers. It is just how mothers are. For this mother not to know her 'date' was in fact her very own son is ludicrous. It is not very realistic. I kept on waiting for her to lower the boom upon him but it never came.

The first part is hot but the second part was a huge let down.

I agree with the previous comment about the mother recognizing her son, no matter his changed looks...just his body odor would trigger her olfactive memory...I still thought this was quite erotic, and hope for more chapters with these two.

It's terrific that Todd gets an excellent blowjob from his own mother. I would've preferred the boy to blow his young balls right in his mother's mouth instead of all over her face and body, but that's a minor point. The major point is that this great story needs a sequel, probably several sequels. Todd's got to get his big hard cock up between his mother's legs, fuck the living shit out of her, and unload his hot young balls up the same cunt he came out of. And he's got to tell her that he's her darling baby boy come back to revisit the place he started out from, his own damn birth canal. I think Todd'll find it liberating and extremely exciting to call the lady "mom," maybe even "mommy," while he's pumping away with all his energy and strength at her warm wet twat. When he finally does unload his balls and shoots her a twatful of his creamy semen, it'd be sweet if he whispers, "Oh, Mom!"

This was an interesting start. You've got the older woman who has had to sell her body in order to survive. A son who ran in order to survive. Both are estranged and both, I think, miss each other. I really wish I could read more of this story.

Any chance you have something published elsewhere or unsubmitted?

Thanks for sharing.

started out good, but stopped short

I love the concept of this story. Are you ever going to write a follow up chapter? If not, would you consider allowing another writer to take up this story and give it a fitting conclusion?? It is too good a tale to leave as it is.

Needs an ending, a recognition, a reaction., an acceptance.