All Comments on 'Two Worlds Collide Ch. 01'

by Forgottenrealm

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  • 4 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousalmost 14 years ago
Good job

Some small mistakes that made me pause in the reading, but easily fixable. Interesting 'worlds collide' plot.

nomoretears00nomoretears00almost 14 years ago
good story

I really like the idea of your story! I hope you do a chapter 2.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 14 years ago

interesting story, i hope that you continue with the story

gleep1984gleep1984almost 14 years ago
umm..

you kind of need to pick a tense and stick with it. you kept jumping from present to past, sometimes within a single sentence. it was so distracting that i couldn't finish the page.

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