All Comments on 'Unexpected Love Ch. 01'

This is a fun start, but there are a lot of little things that need attention. I'm guessing you didn't have a chance to use an editor. But there are things like "buy" when it should be "by", incorrect punctuation like missing commas in the dialogue, and I have to say -- it's Bengals, not Bangles. Although it's an interesting image. ;) Also had a hard time believing it was ok for Tara to sit on her friend's lap at her work place, even if she was on break. Anyway, like I said, it's little things that, if fixed, would help a lot.