All Comments on 'Uninvited'

Is why you have to read at least part of the story to find out what is going on. As with 99% of husbands he didn't want a slut for a wife. Story could have been smoother but good try, thanks.

The story was good but as was said it needed to be smoother and more balanced. A good proofreader and editor would help. Sorry I would have fucked her even with a condom.

Where were you when your friends were going to school?

Fuck you anal retentive asshole and the horse you fuck in it's ass. I liked the story and did not see any bad grammar or anything like that. I read only the story. Do you write any anything or do you just blow smoke up real writers asshole just to have them fart in your ugly face. Leathercarver ...pay no attention to buttholes like IT. I liked the story. NYMINUS

A 410 makes a very small pattern and at close range would have peppered the target's legs, crotch, whatever. There would have been lots of blood and some damage, depending on angle, distance, etc. A 12 gauge would have been more effective at castration. The story seemed rushed, but was believable once we discovered that Angie's behavior was not really as atypical as it first appeared. Our hero's motives are plain, but why did Angie rock the boat? Was she trying to make hubby a cuckold? Also, the other guys on the trip were cardboard cutouts. No character development wasted on anyone! That is OK if you just want to tell a simple "I'll show her" story.

I have seen way, way worse first efforts. Better than average for a first story. You really do need at least a proof reader.

Keep writing and just dismiss the rude comments and remember your the writer - NOT THEM.

Cary

This was not your typical Loving Wife story.It had an unusual plot with his wife insisting on joining him on typical batchelor's weekend during which she had sex with all the boys while hubby snapped picures of all her couplings. The divorce papers he had served on her were typical but what was unusual was wife's shock and surprise at divorce and all the photographic evidence. Having fornicated all weekend I would think she would have expected divorce.

60 year old George

the edge of the river like a soft cunt. 50 for a first timer...Mancelt.

until after the weekend at the cabin. I think something was up for the cabin and Jim but was delayed by Angie. As a result Angie also impacted 5 other families. What a smart girl she was.

I definitely liked your first story! But please watch the details in the future ones I hope you will write. For example, in the last line your text is "staring" his new life, not "starting" and earlier Angie called him "daring," instead of "darling." Another missing detail is the girl David met at the bar. Why mention the $7 theft if you weren't going to have her return the money with interest or some other gift?

I don't expect perfect grammer. I was able to read the story without any problems.

This story seems to have an opening for an additional chapter. One from Angie's POV and what her motives were with Jim. Their conversation would lead one to believe they did have a plan. Maybe a potential cuckold that wasn't.

A good storyline and well executed.A sneaky way the story ended, and I enjoyed read the whole story.Thanks

not realistic

I only wish I new of my slut wife so I could have had the same satisfaction

Absurd, irreal, stupid, this story doesn't make any sense. Never read anything worst!

...one of the biggest pieces of shit ever. Your fucking grammar is terribe, forone. Your poor grasp of the English language has fucked this story harder thn the guys fucked Angie on the trip. 1* for the most unoriginal fucking story in history

The reason you can’t ‘see’ the appalling grammar in this story is because you were dripped on your head as a baby, you retarded fuckwit cunt. Shove a blowtorch up your ass as you suck this dumbass writer’s cock and literally fuck yourself to death, you laughably moronic gimp

Great story, fuck the haters