All Comments on 'Upon a Savage Shore Ch. 17'

the first word that comes to mind for you... BECAUSE THE STORY IS SO DAMN ADDICTING :X, so much lost sleep, but SO WORTH IT!

keep up the DAMN GOOD work, I love losing myself in your story! get someone to help you go over it and fatten it up and id buy it if was sold as a book!

also, the hulk pwns loki moment was priceless

you have me hooked I check every day for more of the story to read I cant wait for the next post please dont stop

Another great addition to a remarkable story. Easily worth 5 stars and I look forward to many more chapters. Thank you for sharing it with us.

why is he carrying pistols if he's not gonna use em and instead gonna get into a melee spear fight.....why did he NOT use em????..with all his military experience....i'd think he would KNOW to do something to make sure he doesn't have this headache again in future.....a show of force ..so to speak.....

otherwise...likng this tale...:)

MIKE: Wolf, like you I was wondering what level of force he would use. But I saw that moment as one not of strategy, but one where liam is challenged to a fight. And fighter that he is, he impulsively decided to accept that challange and beat the hunter down.

For me, it worked given the immediacy and rashness of the moment, not to mention Liam's likely interest in delivering a painful beatdown more than merely swift justice. I thought that it all fit and that the story flowed well.

Now...if you wanted to quibble, you might wonder if it possible for the two hunters to get close enough for bola attacks without the cats smelling or hearing them. But then how would the plot advance? ;) plus I can think of several plausible reasons.

Oh...and as always...great, great story. Keep upnthe excellent work.

WOW what a great chapter. He should have put his armour on the big idiot.

This is the best chapter yet. Thanks!

Really ?? I was half expecting and Indiana Jones moment where Liam see's he's evenly matched and then pulls his gun to kill the guy instead of almost die himself. Still it's a wonderful chapter to a great story! Can't wait for the Commander to stop her teasing and become another wife! Should be intense!! ;)

Wolf - as a former army nco I don't find his response unusual. One thing every soldier learns is escalating force...or put plainly when to use the weapons provided to us. One consideration is fear vs respect...use of the pistol would have earned him fear and a chance of a mass attack by the tribesmen. Generally soldiers in a non battle fight, when not under orders otherwise, meet challenges with equal force fist for fist, knife for knife etc.. Now not saying why he did so in this case, wether it was instinct, machoism, or training...but he picked the method that gave the best odds of peace with the tribe.

Liam wanted respect from the tribe, not fear.

Fear will cause the reaction of "How do I/we eliminate this threat?"

Respect causes the possibility of friendship.

As usual, I read it. Then I had to read it again. Nice job!

Just... fantastic work. I can't wait. Waiting is bad. Damn you for being so good.

Well, now that Fuckwit Roidrage is dead, I can tell the story will be reaching a climax soon…

Q_Q

I DON'T WANT IT TO ENNND!

Addendum to the 'use of force' discussion:

In addition to the psychological factor, and the liklihood of peace, (plus his blind rage at that point), there's also the matter of "Always keep your cards to yourself unless revealing them would provide a greater boon than keeping them hidden. And never reveal you last card unless you have to."

Basically, even if the tribe DID attack, they have no knowledge of the fact that they'd be slaughtered from a klick away, which is a pretty handy trump card.

On the other hand, now that they've seen his anger, I doubt any of the smart ones will piss him off.

Excellent, as always!

And that is the reason you not use a Marine or his mate like a play toy !

No marine should be so stupid as to not bring a gun to a knife fight. He was emotional and stupid, but in the end all is well that ends well. It's annoys me that stupidity is often used to further a plot line as it probably is this time, but this was the better done than most writers and therefor isn't as annoying as most.

A weary good story overall.

I'm sorry for any grammar of spelling errors, but hope I'm excused as a dyslexic Norwegian.

The way Liam finished the small bastard before screaming at him and breaking his neck has reminded me to the scene in the avengers when Hulk smashes Loki into the ground repeatedly. At the same time excessive and hilarious.

Maybe you were thinking about the same moment when you wrote this?

To the dyslexic Norwegian: Your dyslexia is no excuse for bad manners nor a lack of logical thought.

Let’s say Liam did draw his pistol and shoot Stilmnah in front of the entire High Grass tribe. What happens next? Chief Seschiqal is aghast. He suddenly sees how dangerous Liam and his mates are. He has two of them right there in the middle of his kraal. One is unconscious and the other is ignoring everyone around him. As soon as Liam holsters his weapon and goes to release Tem’Ma’tel the chief pounces, calling on his hunters to kill the interloper. As brave and strong as Liam is, he can’t stand up to the all-out attack. Likely he kills three or four before the others put a spear through him. Then they attack Rover and kill him before turning on the defenseless Tem’Ma’tel.

Knowing there are at least two more dangerous creatures living in the villa, the chief rouses his people to storm the ancient pile of stones. Even if he takes only his hunters, M’pel E’kmel is outnumbered by roughly fifty to one. She has the advantage of the high ground and a stone wall and long range fire. What does she do? Opens up on them as soon as they come into effective range. Probably she kills the chief and a dozen others. The High Grass tribe retreats, but they aren’t giving up. They’ll keep trying, because if they don’t they’ll starve to death come winter. Eventually M’pel E’kmel will die at their hands and so will Clot’ilda. Probably half the males from the tribe will die too, but at least they will be able to hunt in peace. What a wonderful outcome for everyone.

Alternatively, Liam could completely break character and start killing everyone. Maybe he kills the entire tribe. Think his mates will want to be around someone capable of destroying an entire people just because two of them were idiots? They’d never trust him again. And what would that do to Liam mentally? Could he live with himself?

I had hoped I would not need to respond to any questions of this sort since several readers came up with pretty much every reason there is for Liam to not pull his pistol and start plugging Stilmnah. That’s why I included these lines: “When the two broke into the center where the hunters had tied Tem’Ma’tel to a post, Liam almost drew his pistols, but these were not evil people. They just needed an education in who not to fuck with.”

Perhaps I am judging you too harshly, dyslexic Norwegian, but in the United States the word ‘stupid’ is pretty insulting. When commenting on my story I would appreciate it very much if you took a little more time to think about how you say what you say.

By far one of the best series I have read! I completely agree with your argument over why he didn't shoot the entire tribe, although I will admit not donning his armour was probably a bit hasty, rushed by his emotion. Still, it makes the story seem real, engaging, and knowing that the hero isn't perfect in the story goes a long way in putting yourself in his shoes. Things I disliked: This felt like one of the excerpts put in the back of a book to tease you about the sequel! Still an amazing work, and I'm not complaining about the lack of sex, but more along the lines of being so short. I expect that the next chapter will make up for it! ( hint hint :D ) Anyway, in conclusion, please hurry with the next chapters, but I'm more than willing to wait, I understand that such good writing takes time.

So... More please!

I've been reading science fiction now for a bit less than 60 years. I know what makes a good story, and how difficult it can be to construct it in a logical yet entertaining way. Good for you RipperFish. Good for you.

You write a marvelous story. The character are well developed and the story line flows. Your use of the dynamics in the scenes is a joy to read. The interactions of the characters brings laughter and tears. Well done. Thanks

Can't wait for the next chapter!

The suspense is killing me, please post the next chapter! Thanks!

Since CH18 is already in the pipeline I can make my prediction without influencing RipperFish.

I predict that the ward of the dead hunter will be sent to live with Liam. Because,

1] This is Literotica and another female would add to the spice.

2] This is smart for the chief.

. . . a] She would not be seen as being as threatening as a male.

. . . b] She would learn his language [or he hers], ending the language barrier.

. . . c] The chief would have a spy in the "enemy" camp so he could learn things.

. . . d] She and her son would not be a burden on any male in his tribe.

. . . e] We might see it as an arranged marriage to bring a war to a close.

3] It is smart for Liam too, for many of the above reasons.

My own thoughts were that most primitive societies rely heavily upon myth and magic, so if they saw a man capable of conjuring fire and killing with a wave of his hand...well I wouldn't fuck with that guy. I'd bow down and worship him. There's also the "shock and awe" strategy. I do agree that Liam has never been a big strategic thinker nor someone perhaps who'd cleave to those strategies.

I hear what others are saying that its either an irrational emotional response or calculated military doctrine or both. That might be.

I do buy that Liam's sole concern was the immediate health of his wife, and it hasn't been established how long it takes to put on the armor. Or even the helmet with scanner. Meh.

As a reader I interpreted this as character growth away from a more cold calculating marine and towards something else...hearth protector?

I was surprised the centaurs were so light, as even a large male gazelle can clock in at 160, and these guys have 4 legs and 2 arms right?

Anyway, all storycraft aside, great chapter. great character development and nice suspense

I've loved the story so far, but this part was very inconsistent in terms of how the Sargent behaved. Before this, he's been very tactical and strategic, and though each situation through as much as possible. But here, you have him running into a village of potential enemies without taking the 2 to 3 min. to don even a part of his armor and then when he arrives, rather than firing a shot to destroy something to let them know he is an avenging God, he as a fist fight ignoring his gun like he was an angry 8 year old. It was well done, but very out of place and does not fit with his character so far.

Ur comment is valid, but as someone practiced in gearing up it can take five min or more depending on how complicated the clasps and buckles and ties are. In five min u could have lost a limb, and adding in the factor of emotional feeling and the dread that is a byproduct of such feelings it is easy to see why Liam Carter would have felt the need to forgo any additional waste of time. Also to address the issue u raised about tactical assessment and why he didn't use a gun? Simple. A secret is only a secret and suprising once. If he felt comfortable enough in his abilities such as we've seen during his and Tem'Ma'tel's fight he is a capable fighter. I'm not sure if uve ever seen or been on the giving or recieving end of crav maga (wrong spelling I'm sure) it hurts and is highly effective. Add in any additional street knowledge and u have a very dangerous fighter not to mention the experience as a veteran. Instead of waltzing in and killing everyone he walked in and challenged them for his mate.

Now idk bout u but that makes lots of sense to me.

Big shout out to RipperFish I'm amazed and enthralled keep it up and consider doing a zombie survival story next

Ur fan BRKR5298

He makes me wonder if our pets think about us like that!

I love the character progression in this chapter . Sargent is becoming more feral and adapting to his primitive surroundings. His responses to danger to his family show he is also becoming more emotionally involved. It will be interesting to see how his women get his head back on straight. (Figuratively not literally).

An old scared man once told me, speed and quickness. Sgt. needed to get to the scene very quickly, to prevent serious injury to his wife, to apply sufficient force to accomplish his mission, rescue, to not let them get setup for him, so the protection of armor was not as important as getting there right f------now, a wise tactical decision, of the type sargents are trained and experienced in. Why not just shoot? He is a Very experienced close combat warrior who had No doubt about his ability against 1 or 2 opponents, all that opposed him, until he became to busy to go for his pistol.

It's strange how you go from praising a wise tactical decision to praising stupid overconfidence. An experienced warrior with very little experience using a particular weapon against two people that are trained from childhood with it is not a smart tactical move. Add to that the fact that Liam could not be sure how many others might support his enemy it becomes even more ridiculous.

The tactical decision would be to use a weapon that would prove his power to the tribe, while also exposing himself to the least risk. The gun. This was the only chapter I didn't like of the series precisely because Liam went from a smart tactician to a complete idiot in a few minutes.

And before anybody says it, even heat of passion is no excuse here. He had enough presence of mind to not attack the person HITTING HIS WIFE WITH A STICK. He was completely in control when he did something a marine would never do. Something a veteran of 43 battles would never do.

Rover is the single best character in the history of Literotica, or literature as a whole. I love his attitude.

A gazelle CANNOT run 160mph, not even 160km/hr, it can only run 60mph which is 80km/hr. It can, however, outrun a cheetah doing 75mph by outlasting the cheetah if it can dodge and evade the claws long enough, the cheetah cannot maintain its 75mph for more than 30 seconds.

You also missed the description of the High Grass hunters, they are not centaurs with 4 legs and 2 arms, they are fauns with 2 legs equipped with hooves and are much smaller, more like a 2 legged goat than a horse.

By kicking the hunter's ass with their own weapons and tactics Liam proved he was not a coward and earned the respect of everyone in the tribe without causing them to fear him as an enemy, just a person defending his family, thus keeping the peace.

Anon 6/12/16. It's his story, they can run as fast as he wants them too.

It is an alien on an alien planet, it can go as fast as the author wants it to. Lol. herpa derp.

I believe Kizkiz was referring to the weight of a large male gazelle being upwards of 160 lbs as evidenced by the following passage:

"I was surprised the centaurs were so light, as even a large male gazelle can clock in at 160, and these guys have 4 legs and 2 arms right? "

Though I do believe that the faun are not centaurs and do not infact have 4 legs but only 2 since rover refers to them as bipeds and therefore it is not surprising to me that Liam is able to toss the idiot around like a ragdoll.

During Liam's meeting with Stolk he also comments on how lean and wiry Stolk looks.

Also to the author: This is one of my favourite stories on lit and this is probably my tenth reread.

As with every story there are parts that I do not like, though it is minor.

I read the intro to your newest story and it prompted this latest reread. I hope that as you explore this story universe further it will answer some questions and make the appearance of **SPOILER** feel less abrupt even though you did a good job of foreshadowing it.

Would have been extremely viscerally satisfying if it weren't for the fact that I have learned to tone my outrage down when it comes to stories. It would have been a sweet moment when he went all hulk on loki on him. I've just had to mute my reactions because authors have decided to be real jerks to the characters for extended arcs and getting physically violent over a fiction I'm reading seemed like a little certifiable.

Really good stuff though. Wish I had let myself get angry. Totally rereading this someday.

Peace and Love, ✌

DJ

Liam makes up for in heart what he lacks in brains :/

You gotta love an anteater-dog with human intelligence... right? lol

J

Great story!

Great story.

I have read it nonstop from chapter 1.

I am not sure if you want to be informed of errors so they can be corrected.

I always think the better the writing, the more glaring the mistakes. Even insignificant ones lessen the whole story.

You wrote of an animals gate. I think you meant gait, as in its walking style.

I am not sure it was this chapter or a previous one. That's what happens when you can't stop reading.

Loving it!

Love the names Liam gives to the guys as he kicks their asses. LOL