Used Ch. 04

He collapsed on the bed beside her, not wanting to at the woman laying next to him. He didn't want to see her smile, or hear her whisper, because-- what if? What if it was never going to work? What if she was smiling to Ben? What if everything she whispered to him, she first whispered to Ben? What if he couldn't get over that? So he couldn't tell her that he wasn't trying to end it. He needed her to tell him that she didn't want him to. And was it that unfair? He threw an arm over his eyes but the thoughts didn't stop.

"Am I even on your mind?" she asked, which flummoxed him. He lifted his arm, looked at her.

"What?"

"Am I even on your mind? Do you think about me when I'm not around? When you're shooting the shit with your friends, do you wish I was there, that I could be there? Do you watch me leave, and think about the next time you'll see me? Am I on your mind?" Her questions were like machine-gun bursts, and then the storm was over, and there was silence.

And he was silent. Ben's voice was in his head. What did you think? That we would sit across from each other at thanksgiving dinners? That your choice to bring my ex into my marriage is going to help things?

And then he wasn't silent.

"I'm in over my head," he whispered, turning his head to look at her. She withdrew like she'd been slapped.

Ben's voice again. Six months. You've been fucking her for half a year, don't bullshit me, of course you brought her into my life!

Within seconds she was dressed, and was leaving the room.

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