All Comments on 'Valerie Hates Dan Ch. 01'

Hop.e to see more of this in a similar vein. I would p.refer a couple chap.ters of develop.ment before any interference from the sister's boyfriend takes p.lace.

Nothing would have been better...this sounded nice. But was bad..always about a build up never about the story

Can't wait for the next chapter.

Thats so fucking dumb. everyone knows she hates him so when they call her out on it she doesnt admit hes blackmailing her? Nobody is going to believe him over her in that case . clearly shes a fucking idiot and worse than that she lets this retard steal from her.

unlikeable plot, idiot characters and no sex worth mentioning. dont bother with a chapter two until you get an editor that doesnt suck and if you do put it in the right category next time - bdsm. This isnt coercion, shes just a submissive retard who will submit to any blackmail no matter how fucking dumb it is. You cant even call that reluctance.

Nice. You actually made me hate Dan in less than a chapter. More so because I have known a few women in my past who found themselves in similar situations like Valerie's'. Not as extreme, but pretty bad all the same.

I hope that it will not be long before Val reaches critical mass and blows Dan out of the water. Guys like him are an embarrassment to our half of the gender! Not to forget that he is a potential danger to women if left to his own devices for too long.

Keep up the good work.

I like the story, but the premise isn't plausible. She's more scared of her sister than she is of what he's doing to her? Wouldn't her sister want to know that she's with a jerk who goes around kissing her sister? Is John being blackmailed too? The story is entertaining, fictional, and has room for a lot of good entertainment before Vals pulls her head out of her butt, but it is a little inrealistic. However, you have given lots of places for the plot to go. What happens when she just tells 'Ris what happened while Dan isn't available? I can't wait for the rest of the story. A solid four and and a half stars.

1*

Blackmail stories can be entertaining, and this one has some promise going forward, BUT the initial premise completely fails.

For a blackmail scheme to work (or a blackmail story to be plausible) the threat that the blackmailer holds has to be worse than the price he is trying to collect.

That is SO not the case here.

The initial idea is that she will have to submit to an indefinite period of torments by someone she completely hates to keep her sister from learning that she kissed her boyfriend. Huh?!

So since that obviously wasn't nearly a big enough threat, he ups the ante by threatening to tell all kinds of lies about her. That is not a blackmail scheme. Anyone can tell all kinds of lies about anyone any day. So what? Are you going to ruin your life in order to prevent someone from telling lies about you?

Absurd!

Ok, so the set up is implausible. Almost all of the blackmail setups are stretches. Now that we have got that out of the way, you have a tomboy virgin on the hook, on to the fun!

outweighs the consequences of any action, TK U MLJ LV NV

Chapter 3 please