All Comments on 'Vampire Quest Ch. 01'

its a good plot but you can work more on your writing style. its a bit hard to follow, but other wise this is a good story and im looking foward to the continuation!

Great, more! The only reason I gave you a 75 is cuz you need some symbols or a couple spaces when you switch between characters. Without the break in between paragraphs it was kind of hard to read. Also, how was Rhiannon's mother a vampire and she never figured that out? Don't vampires have some sort of physically different trait? Like.. canines or a thirst for blood.

Otherwise, great story, if you add the breaks it's fluent and the plot has a lot of potential, although I think you'll have to write a lot to fully fulfill that potential (more than just 1-2 page chapters, unless you have a couple dozen or hundred chapters)

Still, as I already said great story. Thanks for writing it and I can't wait for the next chapter!

Thanks,

-Max

Loved the story, hope to see more!!!

Anyone know when the next one is coming? Or if it is already out on a different site?

Your story is hard to follow.

The content is good and so are the ideas but the writing style has zero fluency.