All Comments on 'Vampire Quest Ch. 01'

The content is good and so are the ideas but the writing style has zero fluency.

Your story is hard to follow.

Anyone know when the next one is coming? Or if it is already out on a different site?

Loved the story, hope to see more!!!

Great, more! The only reason I gave you a 75 is cuz you need some symbols or a couple spaces when you switch between characters. Without the break in between paragraphs it was kind of hard to read. Also, how was Rhiannon's mother a vampire and she never figured that out? Don't vampires have some sort of physically different trait? Like.. canines or a thirst for blood.

Otherwise, great story, if you add the breaks it's fluent and the plot has a lot of potential, although I think you'll have to write a lot to fully fulfill that potential (more than just 1-2 page chapters, unless you have a couple dozen or hundred chapters)

Still, as I already said great story. Thanks for writing it and I can't wait for the next chapter!

Thanks,

-Max

its a good plot but you can work more on your writing style. its a bit hard to follow, but other wise this is a good story and im looking foward to the continuation!