All Comments on 'Walking the Fine Line Ch. 02'

good read and plot was also good.

looking forward to your next one. a fan always.

Nicely done - I liked it.

this is what i like ...more like a story ...more like real life ... keep it up

Sometimes you have to get through the sadness to really appreciate what it means to be happy.

Nice story, very readable.

DJ

Please let me first say I could not even approach writing as well as you do. I’m going to say I didn't feel the hurt or elation of these characters. I read the story twice and it was like not much emotion came through. Like in his explanation of his life in jail, the job, seeing his Ex again, or even elation on finding Arlene. It was more a commentary with no rise or fall of sensation. I guess it’s the form of writing like a narrative with very little speech to pick up emotion. I just thought more of the characters feelings would show as he would ask things of the Ex or express feelings with Arlene. I think the story was to short to the point and not anything of why, how, or what was expressed.

A little quirk is at 3 years old she goes to Kindergarten?

Please understand this critique is from an unqualified person of literature just an average reader.

Thank you for your story

I do look forward to reading your stories in the future.

from the first part of the story. Thanks!

SleeplessinMD

First, is the little girl his? Seems to me that should have been part of the ending to this story.

Second, the final meeting with his ex-wife seems a bit short. She admits she made a mistake and he wasn't guilty of an affair with Tina, but then she leaves. Somehow I have a hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach that there was no resolution of that fact.

Anyway, I liked the story and look forward to your next.

Charleybear

It's hard to believe the same writer wrote this and chapter 01. This is a wonderful improvement over chapter01. Cohesive, logical, fine character devlopment of likeable, interesting characters. Congratulations on a great finish after a mediocre beginning. 60 year old George

But he sure had to run the obstacle course, didn't he? And three years would have been close in time for Danielle to actually be his. That would have made an even happier ending!

but even they need some happiness.

This story is well thought out and really holds ones interest. I think it reflects actual experiences in the authors life. Excellent. Get back to writing again.

RAG

This, and chapter 1, by Magnaman is a wonderful story of life on the other side of the tracks in which the opportunity to success and find happiness and love presents itself. Alene is a very strong character. She starts as a dancer in the lower part of city (LA?), remarries, her husband dies, and she takes his failing real state business in Idaho and makes a success of it. He leads a terrible life after his parting with wife Dottie. He see that it is Alene that he really wants in his life completely; he is determined to find her and he succeeds in doing so. There is a happy ending to this "Loving Wives" story. RAG

Would not put it past Tina and Dotty to have set him up with the bathroom scene so Dotty could come out the closet with her slutty adultry.

I would hire a P.I. to follow Dotty around. People don't change so she will fuck around on her Doctor Husband. Once the P.I. had enough evidence I would send it to the Doctor as a public service. I would also send a copy to Dotty so she knew where it came from. Have a nice life slut.

poor alene married to this loser

poor alene married to this loser

Nicely structured and believable idiots.. following a reasonable script

Thanks. Rich

Guys and Gals,

Who gives a shit! Honestly, whatever your views are, how can anyone take this ending and improve it! It's perfect. Don't argue semantics, morals and all the usual shit.

This is a lovely love story written by a superb author.

Please admit it and let the protests die.

MGM - you are one of a kind.

Thank you for your talent,

Norman D

Like the way the Story was Finished shows the depths we will go through over a Stupid incident.

You didn't rush. Set the long convoluted string of dominos ' just so'. I knew what was coming but it was so beautiful & uplifting to watch happen. Even Dotty got a measure of redemption . Thank you so much for this pearl of a story.

and I enjoyed it just as much--maybe more. 5*****!

Thank you, tom anon

Nice finish thanks for sharing.

Painful trip but he made it - good for him

And good for you for making it up lol

it would've been a 5 but Dottie ended up with a Dr and he almost lost everything .

one thing i dont understand, did the first wife knew he didnt do it and still dumbed him or she knew later, and if she did find out later, this all she managed to stay after detroying their lives, sorry bye....

Was this a contest to find the worlds biggest loser?

His illiterate offerings (worshiped by the other dickless cuckolds) make the rest of us normal, secure, literate human beings want to puke our fucking guts out.

MGM can write, huecuck can't even read.

his slut whore ex wife is a bitch then he finds the one girl he loved......but can't see that lasting...just another putz who deserved what he got even if his ex was a cheating slut whore.....

quit having sex with your mom and get an account, then maybe you can write a story about your wife and the remaining member of platoon 145 company B, the rest died do to her AIDS infested snatch.......lol !

reads like a bio written by a wimpy cuckadoodledo.

1 star

Maybe I missed it, but I don't recall either story mentioning a divorce? Seems like a rather important life event!

Not sure about the timing, but could Danielle be his daughter? She's named after him, obviously, and at one point calls him "Daddy", although may young children will do that for the adult male in their lives.

Sorry to see Dotty always land on her feet.

Says Dotty, "I completely fucked up your whole life and treated you like shit... you didn't deserve it... My bad."

Fucking bitch.

Okay, I glad for the happy ending, but a couple of things puzzle/aggravate me:

Dotty apparently making out like a bandit when she was the one that fucked up his life.

As others have said, neither story mentioned divorce.

Why didn't his boss give him some warning before firing him?

Why did he lose his house? He had some money saved up plus the money from his mother's house, he should have been able to pay the fines without losing his house!

This one didn't work for me. I didn't like the people in the story nor the storyline itself. Not my cup of tea. Better luck next time, maybe.

Characters had many faults and failed to learn from their mistakes until forced after beating their heads against a wall far too often! But many of your tales are good. Thanks. Dan

Glad Dan found a happy ending to a rough story.

But I thought the ending was a bit rushed. Other than that, I loved it.

and will the next time be again. TK U MLJ LV NV

Just too contrived and too many lame plot devices. Seems like everybody else knew where everyone was, but this putz couldn't find shit, nor be found.

Whatever. Glad its over. You could have included the part where Dottie's rich husband finds out she's still fucking Jerry. That would have redeemed a whole lot of the other garbage.

Unlike MM stories it is mostly his fault the girl left. But like MM stories the cheating bitch does great at the end, marrying an MD. I’d have sent a note warning him about Jerry and Tina.

V. Good. 5-stars.

little girl his daughter?

I really didn't like the characters in this story. Dotty and their friends were loathsome people. None of them got what they deserved. He was an idiot who should have divorced her and moved on to find someone else. Also how did he lose all his money?

I think if the author reads this again he should consider a rewrite where the nasty people get some sort of retribution dished out.

Sounds like a great life story.

Disgusting man…. A shame to call the puss ant MC a male!!!

What Arlene saw in the character is beyond me!!!

Maybe only the writer ‘shagmaman’ seems to know

I like the story. We are all flawed human beings. Yes he didn't get it right the first time, but he did in the end.

No.

Dotty needed some painful life lessons, not rewards for cheating.