All Comments on 'Watch Me in the Darkness'

Use of the first person present tense does not do well with this story, or most stories in general. It reads as if it is happening as you are reading it. Which we all know it is not. This affects the reality,or believability of the story. This work reads as a fantasy, which is great for fairy tales but not erotica. Amazingly there is not one word of dialog. I give it a D+. A poor effort.

You get me. Thank You.