by 1Thinkingman
Enjoyed
Well it does until you find out male otters will find a female otter and drown her before copulating with the corpse for a week then go off to find another victim or get together with a group of friends and gang-rape baby seals to death.
We're not animals.
Much of your writing seems to go over the heads of the audience here -
It was a fun departure and yes it was about a loving wife -
It's okay to try and be different, the trick is to not be stupid at the same time.
The pride male is not really lazy, he is just not the Hunter. He is the Enforcer! The Muscle! A hyena pack (if large enough) will threaten a hunting group of lionesses for a kill the lionesses have just made. That same pack will flee if they spot the lion bearing down on them! Lions are probably too big to work well as the go-to hunter! If a pride male starts falling down in that primary role, he is likely to be deposed by a more vigorous male!
yBadg accurately outlines several cogent aspects of leonine society. There are several others ... One adult male per pride (sometimes two brothers will share). Carl would NOT be cuckolding Ben, he would have been chased off or he would be dead! Also, one lioness (who lives in a pride) will only rarely hunt alone.
Estrus can be induced by a new pride male who has just deposed the previous one, after the new guy kills (and usually, eats) the young get of the previous male! (This does not seem, however, to be relevant to this tale! Especially the cannibalism aspect would not seem to fit the allegory!)
Finally, this story fits MUCH better in Non-Human! But 4* anyway!
Humour and Satire for one
Non-erotic
Non-human
Garbage Can
but the LW category???
I too was a lost about the allegory. Also, not a fan here of puns.
I did like the variety of an anthropomorphic story though. Although... what's with the names. "Ben" and "Carl" don't exactly come from the same culture as "Timet." Was that intended to be part of the allegory?
and leaves a lot to think about. I found it fascinating that everyone likes the same diet over and over again. I do to..... but I believe we should respect the creative efforts...
Well, you failed. And, as an allegory, this was a monumental flop. Certainly NOT fit for LW category.
Lions are polyestrous (they gestate several times a year) - so that works.
During a mating bout, they copulate anything from 20 to 40 times a day - Timet would not have been satisfied with once.
Lionesses in a pride often synchronise their reproductive cycles so that they cooperate in the raising and suckling of the young - he wouldn't be waiting a few days for her sister.
Okay, it's an allegory - but a little research wouldn't have done any harm?
Having said that, you tried to do something different. Even though I don't think it really worked, I give you kudos for that - and the actual writing wasn't at all bad. 4*