All Comments on 'We Need to Separate... 01'

Not another one for mikoli to fuck up.

And the plot seems so familiar....

Your attempt to set up the plot is disjointed and confusing.

I am not sure, but this is the first of your stories I believe I've read.

Honestly, the male character is a bit...weak. He does NOT read like any kind of dominant. "I'll love you and forgive you' two seconds after finding out that his brother is shanking his wife. REALLY? This made him slightly distasteful to me. The gay brother sex did nothing for me either, even in passing.

Your grammar needs work, particularly question marks and quotations marks.

The one thing that helped this story was the psychological introspection about the brothers holding each other back in some ways.

And I am interested in all these names you threw out and didn't give us any pay off on. Your addendums in parenthesis were jarring and broke the flow of the story.

And I don't have high hopes for Angie. Not one bit.

Wife is a slut bitch and he's taking her back? What a stupid and pathetic wimp.

Another cuckold story! She lied and cheated on him throughout their entire marraige! Guess what? That is NOT a marriage, it is a deception, a big lie! Now he is going to raise his brothers kids from an adulterous relationship, albeit his identical twin, RIDICULOUS! No normal person, man or woman, would put up with something like this! His brother is not worth a damn, no held a gun to his head when he fucked Angie. His wife is a grifting slut who is just in it for the money. Apparently she does't work, she is not raising HIS kids, she just hangs out and eats pussy all day! Mary is a manipulative bitch who thinks pussy can totally control a man. Adam needs to cut all these people loose. If they had been upfront with the brothers before they got married it would be a different story. It is a matter of choice. If they had respected the brothers and truly loved them, they would have given them that choice. They only wanted to use these men for their own ends. Only their fear of eventual discovery compelled them to try to change the status quo, that and the desire for children that Adam couldn't have. So, if Adam is as smart as this story makes him out to be, he needs to liquidate ALL his relationships and move on ALONE and start over again. The fact that these two whores wasted all those years of his life means that they should have to reimburse him for his time! That means PAYBACK! (anything less, is wimp, cuckold shit and anyone who'd write that shit is either trying to piss the reader off or in fact, a wimp himself!)

Ford never made a 'Town and Country' - that has always been a Chrysler model name. Ford called their wagons 'Ranch Wagon' 'Country Sedan' and 'Country Squire' mostly, although there was a special in 1956 I can't recall the name of right now...

How is it that on page 1 they don't understand how Cindy knew them apart but then we discover Aaron has 50% more dick?

Usual bullshit from this author.

You use far, far too many exclamation marks! It distracts terribly from your story! A good writer does not do that! It get annoying very quickly! If you see what I mean!

Also, she has been cheating on him for their entire marriage, and that is ok with him? I though they said he was a dominant type. He would never stand for it if he was.

Very strange storyline and some elements that are a bit creepy. But I am interested in reading more to find out what happens. I don't understand him staying with his wife, but will chalk that up to a twin thing. Not quite sure I understand the man on man sex thing. This really could go bad fast. I suspect she will not be able to remain true.

I don't understand the comments from caught spouses that always seem to find there way into these stories. "I really love you but his cock was much better than yours." "It's going to be really hard giving up big cock, but I'll do it for you." This undermines any attempt at authenticity. People just don't say things like that, because hurt parties would be hurt even further if they did.

Is there are rule that states the other man's cock has to be ridiculously larger than the husband's or do you just think that all women long to have comedically massive dicks shoved inside of them to be truly satisfied?

You might be surprised to find out that any sane woman would run for the hills if some guy approached her waving an 11 inch dong. Then again, I think that from the way you characterize women you don't know much about them at all.

In addition to the silly content, the dialogue is stiff, uninteresting, and unrealistic.

All the exclamation(!) marks are really annoying when reading and the dialogue needs a lot of work.

what kind of fucking idiot are you. The whore's having his brother's baby and fucking his sister in law. And the best you can come up with is to move. Damn your a man hating cum guzzling faggot. Quit fucking writing and blow your fucking brains out.

Cheating is cheating. Pure and simple. Doesn't matter if she is riding a dick or a cunt, its still cheating. BTB, buddy. Just disgusting.

And when Aaron said, "Okay Adam and I forgive you for what happened today.", that is absolute horseshit. Adam should be leaving with only one thing in his pocket. And that sure as hell isn't his wife, leave the cheating cunt there. He should be leaving with about 3/4 of his brothers dick in his pocket. Twin brother or not, you don't do that to a loved one. BTB AND his brother.

None? Can't say I blame you. Throw in the bizarre notion that only one person could tell them apart and his willingness to forgive his brother for fucking his wife..well, gotta say, not your best effort. I'm not saying he should BTB and his brother; but he just learned his bro' fucked his wife and tried to blame the women and all he says is that be forgives him? Wtf?

I agree that the introduction of male endowment detracted rather than enhanced the story. The mere fact that the brothers were manipulated by a lesbian couple into their marriages should have been enough to make them both realize that the commitment they felt as love was no more than contemptuous convenience to the girls. Add the fact his wife is carrying his niece or nephew and his bags should already be packed. No need to BTB but she has had a longer commitment to her SIL/lover and has admitted his brother rings the bell better. You cannot rebuild a relationship that was based on lies and deceit. I do not see any good coming out of taking her to Texas unless it is to establish residency, wait for her to cheat, then BTB. All indications are that he is weaker than he knows and does not realize that he is still being manipulated and has effectively transferred control to his lesbian wife.

So I hope there is the next installment! !!!! Lol

Even if Angie goes with her hubby to San Antonio she'll eventually cheat again. Angie has set herself up to be miserable. She'll leave and go back to Mary and Aaron to visit. Yeah right. It's over and there is not a thing Adam can do about it. Unless of course he changes his attitude. From the set up. Not going to happen.

Was hard to start this story. The character introduction was confusing at times. 3 stars.

bring on Chapter 2( or is it chapters?).

have been a good story but you idiot really neede to make her pregnant. you a shit head that gets off while (even as a fantasy) a unborn kid is going to take the burden adult should take the responsibility. nothing is erotic about your fucked up characters.

I enjoyed the premise more then believed in it. This author did a fine job developing the twins' characters. The relaxed bass boat outing suddenly turning fraught with tension was well crafted. The wives' personas were much more rudimentary and their dialogue had little nuance or individuality.

This story isn't groundbreaking by any means. Yet there's no denying the barbed earnest, philosophical search of trust and intimacy with those we allow close to us and the inherent pitfalls therein. Mikoli5763 has made a exploration of these issues in good faith and I thank him for a well above the median Loving Wives read.

deceit from the onset and omission for a month. TK U MLJ LV NV

How could she even think getting pregnant would be ok? that is the deal breaker for me. getting knocked up then springing it on you. would you not think discussing something like that would be important? she or they have so little respect for him that this whole thing will be ok if we give him a night with both wives. wow. cant wait for the rest. i see him in texas by himself with his brother living with mary and angie.

MrVDog...

Roughly, 2" squared x pi (3 is good enough) = 12 sq.in.

12sqin x 7" = 84" cubed

3" squared x pi = 27 sq.in.

27sqin x 11" = 297" cubed

That is about three and a half TIMES more cock. The first value is rare. The second is not impossible, but exceedingly rare. To have come from the same fertilized egg and carried in the same womb (subjected to the same teratogens) makes it virtually impossible. SOME difference? Sure! THAT much difference? FICTIONAL! Yeah, I know this IS fiction! Is THAT where an author wants to exhaust credibility? I think...'Not worth it!'

Otherwise, it is an interesting premise and fairly well done!

Trouble is, the story TITLE remains to be addressed! Bad plan!

I don't really believe the titled separation is that of the twin brothers!

Good story. Think it was too long (too many unecessary paragraphs, and could have use a good edit), but the basic theme was interesting enough and presented well. Dialog was good between the guys, but really sad between him and the wives. At times he seemed to be portrayed as steady going, and then you have him yelling and blustering...a little out of character. Worse, his wife is carrying a child that isn't his...if he is going to act over the top, wouldn't that be the issue that should be the catalyst? Overall, I scored this high, but for its potential. Pain, in a huge way is waiting for him.

Sorry...I used Diameter rather than Radius. Ratio is the same!

he'd be on his way to hell, and my cheating wife would be catching up to him fast

A lot of guys outside die hard catholics (threesome bad,priests molesting children ok) would be thrilled by angie and mary and maybe set up a poly or something...on tje other hand hearing angie say she loved him a little more than mary,her saying aaron gave her better orgasms and then finding out angie and mary manipulated the twins into marriage so they could have each other and hide being gay would be a dealbreaker,to say the least.If they had negotiated a poly at the beginning it would be different to me,but this?he should walk away and see what happens,angie will prob shack up with aaron and mary.

Prob with this story is it will need a good ending,and I.suspect it is,going to be they move,then angie cheats and that is it,unless somehow adam reconciles to the situation,which will be hard because angie obviously loves mary more.

There might be a reason for adam accepting aarons.kid,being identical twins genetically it is like having your own kid.

I know, however, Adam has not finished dealing with this. Marry won't lie down and dumbass Aaron won't do the right thing (get her to leave the other marriage alone. Your stories often go against the social norm so Angie will fail and Adam will look like a jerk. I hope I'm wrong.

Better editing and better technique would really help. The plot suffers from lack of credibility. Twin or not, no way Adam gets around the marriage-long cheating, illegitimate child, deception, lying, etc. He should not have had sex with Angie after finding out she cheated -- legally, it means he forgives her transgression, so he cannot divorce on the basis of adultery. Story does not portray any likable characters.

And the "We need to Separate..." means separation from his brother?

Fucking dick shrugs his shoulders, forgives his brother the minute he hears about him fucking his wife, shrugs his shoulders again about his wife being pregnant.... and on, and on.

Fuck the brother, fuck the wife, leave town by yourself, be a man for fucksake.

It looks like this is another 1* effort.

Unfortunately, there ARE people out there that lacking in something. Doms like Mary are out there. Confused women who 'love' others than their husband and family are also out there. Many wives treat their friends (and certainly their 'friends') better than their spouses. Some men ARE that damn weak. "But I love her..." Matt...I mean Aaron moaned.

We have met people like this. I had a friend who believed his girlfriend and this guy went to bed naked together but sex didn't happen for God's sakes! So it CAN be believable that this happens. That doesn't make any of these characters LIKEABLE. My eyes rolled in my head when I heard my friend and my esteem for him plummeted. This is not an Alpha male as mikoli5763 is hoping to portray. Perhaps he differs in his opinion. Certainly NOT after her saying how much she loves his brother's cock!!!!

The baby thing is...difficult. BUT...he can't have kids. Mary can't have kids. The kid itself is blameless. One can be something besides a Catholic (bit of a low blow, njlauren) to understand him looking away from this situation and accepting it because otherwise, baby won't happen. Unfortunate circumstance; acceptable outcome. His family has a kid. But it should be HIS kid, none of this fucked up 'visitation' crap.

The author held my interest, but more as an expression of horror and disbelief at these characters and this situation. Let's see how he rescues this....if at all.

Mary is going to be a problem. Is Mary a succubus? How in the world did she cause Angie and Aaron to betray Adam. I can understand Angie doing it because they have been lovers for years but I was surprised at Aaron's betrayel. Aaron definitely is pussy whipped like Adam mentioned.

Aaron will have to take his balls back from Mary to help his brother. He definitely owe Adam from the mess he helped caused.

REALLY?

go back and look at this idiot authors other stories

I read to halfway through page 2 and I kind of knew what was going to happen so I skipped to page 4, and it kind of happened...

No need for chapter 2.

anyone ? Bueller ? Bueller?

the road traveled goes both ways, especially for a re-location, TK U MLJ LV NV

25

The relationship started through manipulation and he was being deceived though all of his marriage. Then she cheats with his brother and gets pregnant. And he sees himself having a solid relationship with this person? Based on what? More lies and deception? He doesn't really know who Angie is. In addition, she WILL be unhappy under the restrictions he has imposed and given her past will fix it by deceiving him again, just more carefully this time.

People simply don't change personality that much, certainly not if it's imposed on them as this is. Angie is, at heart, a dishonest person. She is also bisexual. This will never work out well.

Further, a brother who screws my wife and knocks her up is NOT my friend.

Now he finds his wife has been sticking to him having sex with twin bothers wife also carry his twins baby and he wants to take her with him. I would run so fast and so far and leave her behind . Do you really believe she can stop being a slut? Ridiculous !!

Cant wait to see how Mary takes being made a second class citizen. instead of the "top" dawg she put herself as. Losing Angie will be a slam to her Confidence and Superiority.

stupid male pride, what a woman says when she fucks another man. A jealous wife when the husband fucks another woman, are u sure that isn't stupid female pride?

He finds his wife didn't love him when she married he, he simply met a profile the two of them had for their husbands so the husbands could fund the women's continued affair. He also finds out his adulterous cheating slut of a wife is a lesbian and has been carrying on a secret affair their entire marriage. Finally he finds out she has barebacked another man, and "intentionally" gotten pregnant by him. Finally he finds out his brother and sister-in-law have betrayed him and his marriage totally. Damn isn't this the stage someone commits suicide or kills all involved? Why tell anyone anything? His wife was already told not to go near Mary again and he finds her in bed with Mary the next day. Take what you need, move out immediately, and leave for San Antonio. File for divorce based on adultery as evidenced by his wife being made pregnant by another man. Personally I would have left the night before and never spoken to any of the three of them alone. If they wanted a threesome they should have come to him in the first place and asked him, again betrayal. To many wrongs leave nothing right. He may love her and his brother, but none of the three of them love or respect him.

You have the twins start out by having sexual relationships with each other then make the guy have issues cause his wife is bi. He should be happy he now has a chance to be a father. Not many guys will turn down a 3some. He sounds like he enjoyed it with his brother more than anything else

1.His wife has long term affair...for years!

2. Wife also screws another guy,his brother no less.

3. She gets knocked up by another guy (brother) who is supposed to have his back.

4. The wife thinks it's no big deal.

5. She tells him that his brother gives her better orgasms and with his enormously bigger dick, and the lesbian lover does oral so much better that he isn't even in her class.And just because A-ron knocked her up, He's acting all bent out of shape.And why is he letting his rediculous male ego get in the way of understanding that she really loves only him, and his well hung brother and his wife and maybe the dog and the cat. And why is he always quoting those marrige vows? Doesn't he understand ? (Sorry.She has to be a Democrat.)

6. ANYONE with and I.Q. would know it is time to jump in the Z and head for Texas. Kick his twin in his 12x3 johnson, file for divorce, tell the old lady adios and recommend she name the kid gutterslut or scumbucket after its father and mother.

The writtings on the wall Bozo. She is not going to change. She has been at it to long and enjoyed it too much. What she has done is unforgivable on too many levels.

The writting is good but the content is ...........

Divorce the bitch, move and take bros' balls & wife's clit with him when he goes.

'nuff said.

abort the bastard or make the brother pay for it id say 20000 is a good going rate for having someone elses baby..that should also pay for the custom paintjob hell get

Bad story.

Bad writing.

Bad writer.

Bad editing.

Bad protagonist.

Just plain all around bad.

Stop now, and go away.

There are a lot of audiences here.

Some like cuck stories where the man is humiliated. It is their 'thing'.

Some like torture porn, where the wife's suffering is explained in loving EXCRUTIATING detail...

Some like dramatic stories, where the emotions are running high. Add in some clever twists or turns, and you can make them cum without touching them.

And some like Redemption stories.

None of these are wrong stories. They service audiences which probably doesn't include YOU...if you don't like this story.

I wasn't thrilled with the subject matter because I like realistic stories, or utter fantasy or torch the bitch...if it's done cleverly. I also didn't like it because it was poorly written.

BUT...his writing can improve. Whether he changes his subject material is up to him. He is pulling a 3.5. Considering how many 1's he is getting SOMEONE likes this story...so keep writing. But I am holding judgement. I am probably not your target audience...but we'll see.

This story was over to me when she said she wanted keep the kid and the girl. OVER!!!.

You need to come up with something pretty good to make this story worth reading the rest of it

Please. It makes reading ANYthing harder.

i'd like to see where it goes.

Awesome story ,can not wait to read more! Thank You,

0

Damn you almost lost me with that statement. I'll give the benefit of the doubt in the next installment. As far as I can see this will not work out.

Carry on.

How about "betrayedbylove"

The kid isn't going to have any issues because he dosent really exist. You see, this is all pretend.

I've had the pleasure to read a great many wonderful stories here on Lit, I'm sorry to say this one isn't one of them.

What a totally freaking ridiculous story line this is, please don't go any further with this just let it die off disgracefully.

but he stumbles over male pride? His wife lied to him from the beginning, betrayed him for years. They tried to manipulate him into three/foursome. And over all the pregnancy caused by his brother, who said Angie is his number one fuck of all time.

A bit too much to say: Come with me and start a new life I guess.

Aaron is obviously not a loving brother. A loving brother wouldn't screw his brother's wife no matter the provocation. Adam is left in a tough situation because he could never trust his wife, brother, or sister-in-law again. I think he should get the brother's name on the birth certificate for child support if he decides to keep the wife, and then keep his brother and sister-in-law away totally.

I wonder if you are going to head for a typical ending. Adam ends up coming around and having sex with the two women and then having a foursome sexual and family situation where the brother keeps knocking up Angie and they all raise the children? Too bad if you do.

Bill39

Your character development is quite good and the plot is good. The affection between the two brothers is well developed and appropriate to the story. The plot device of sharing lovers is a little contrived since one brother is differently endowed than the other so it would be easy to tell them apart in bed. That being set aside, I have enjoyed it so far and am anxiously waiting for the next installment.

Jerking off his brother and double teaming women is a turn on, but woman on woman makes him sick to his stomach?

Wow, that is one seriously closeted homosexual.

I tried reading this story but it is so fucked up that I scrolled to the end of the first chapter, commented and left. Adam should have kick the cheating bitch to the curb in stead he wimped out.

Your twin brother impregnates your wife? His wife has been having a lesbian affair with your wife for your entire married life? How many more body blows does Adam need to receive before he dumps them all? His acceptance of what had happened and then his wanting to list his brother as the kids father (talk about messing up a kid from the start) was just to much for me to take. Too implausible, even for fiction.

Gave up on this shit after the first page. Wives are cheating whores and the brothers are gay for each other. Wimp hubby will probably end up being the bitch of the other 3 and will love it. Won't waste my time reading any further.

And it ain't over yet - be sure of that -

Unless the author just gives up Mary will be a thorn in this smooth transition. She will never give up on Angie - ever -

But I wouldn't count on much help from that pussy Aaron. When Angie first walk in on him and Mary he should have told her to leave, the hell with Mary's threat of no sex!

Please go smash your computer so you never subject anybody to this magnitude of craptastic cuck again. Any guy who takes back such a huge cheating slut deserves all the worst he WILL get.

even if you know whats going on behind it, TK U MLJ LV NV

Annony. head and shove the mouse down his throat!! PLEASE!@

But not a cheating slut of a wife? No wonder the world laughs at you. It's not just Russia that's laughing at you now. Hahaha

Mik, I am impressed that you wrote a story that arouses all the fetish drooling of the LW genre readers. Might be interesting to find out what language you wrote this in originally and then which translator program you used to convert into AngloSaxon.

From the commentaries that have posted to this story, I can see the perpetual adolescents are out, baying in their packs. I know that I get a practically orgasmic rush ridiculing the BTB lynchmob. I hope you are getting your share of jollies from reading their desperately masochistic pleas to be abused.

These are four of the most fucked up people I've ever read about. I hear dueling banjos reading this story. Squeel like a pig.

People have the right to live the way they want to, what suits one does not suit another. The problem I have here is Angie's unilateral decisions about her marriage, one her affair with Mary, two sex with her brother in law and three unprotected sex resulting in pregnancy, that does not come close to a loving marriage. I really can't believe any husband could live with that especially as he is sterile. I can imagine all these things in a consensual arrangement but Angie is away with the fairies..

"to find my beautiful, sexy, CHEATING SLUT but loving wife so we could ...... " Kick her to the curb. She can't be trusted.

for a good story!!

horrible characters. and really stupid too. adam should just run away as fast as he can. his wife has cheated on him for years, his brother and mary are just as bad. didn't like the wordy dialogue either.

quote:

"Until last month, you had given me my biggest orgasms, Adam!

Yes, I'm sure you caught what I said, but just because Aaron's big cock gave me bigger orgasms than yours did in the past doesn't mean you don't get me off any more like you use to.

I didn't say I enjoyed his cock more than yours! I said he gave me bigger orgasms with his than you did with yours and that's not the same thing!

I love you and have always and will always enjoy your cock! Just because the orgasms were bigger doesn't mean their better! The orgasms you gave me and still give me are the best because of the love for each other that we have."

end quote.

What the hell does this mean?

what every fucking sentence means. I read and enjoy the story , so I gave you a 5. Fuck you annony!

you're into fishing and red-neck dialogue. I've never seen so many misplaced modifiers in one story. I'll keep reading, but this story needs to improve. Are we going to see a twin brother RAAC at the end? She's going to have her BIL's child?! She and BIL's wife were fucking the next day?!

Vote 1* for every story rated by 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐀𝐓 𝐖𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐄 (that's what her clients call her) aka BONNIE/VASTIE aka ANON!

But please lose the exclamation points. The was not one sentence they improved.

Sorry, but I found the story uninteresting. **

Won't continue the series.

Is extremely juvenile and also nonsensical.

The same can be said for every story I have read by this author so far.

Your twin's wife is in charge of your live and your twin's and he's to stupid to realize it. Time to grow a pair and put things right in you life.

You are one deranged fuck! Get help

Wow.....pathetic drivel.

The main character is MORE upset about his being cuckholded by his sister in law than the fact his brother knocked up his wife?

Good god man, his wife is gonna give birth to his "nephew ", and he's acting like it's a dented fender on a new car!!

What a train wreck..... and since I always finish stories I start, I can only hope he finally grows a set of balls.

You can't be for real and I just can't believe you'd write such dribble!

Your character is truly pathetic!

How did all of the girls back when not know it was a different brother when that huge dick did (or didn't) spring out at them?

Second time and this is some seriously gay shit!!!

I take that back.

This is more cum sucking faggot ass fucking gay than any actually gay men could ever be and it would be an insult to actual gay men to compare them to this terribly contrived bucket of regurgitated spew.

Mary will try to use Aaron to derail Adam and Angie's marriage. When Angie has her baby, the smart thing to do would be to let Aaron and Mary adopt it.

too many questionable details to make the story believable. I can't see Aaron being that much better endowed when they we identical twins. AND with that being the case, how did they get off fooling girls in their earlier years? Given Mary's and Angie's height differences, it's unlikely they could be munching each others' pussies in 69 (or any) position.

This is an entirely new level of stupid. Were you stoned when you wrote this?

You write some screwed up stuff, but this is off the charts bad.

Nothing in your main character makes sense at least he's a wimpy, closeted, gay.

He forgives his brother for fucking and impreganting his wife? Without even a fight?

He forgives his unremoserseful lesbian wife once and again?

You're a wimp and your main character is as wimpy as you are.

Looking forward to reading the rest.

Letting her get away with she did, means she'll do it again. Why he would he still want doesnt mean he loves her, just means he's a wimp.

Damn, just put a bullet between your eyes and end the misery.