All Comments on 'What He Wants'

You had a good Idea, but it needed to be a little more detailed to capture our interest.

you write better than those who being writing on this site.thanks and keep writing your stories your way.

This writing is very good. It is amazing that it is a first time try! Thiw will be one popular writer!

For a first time submission, you did a very good job. I agree with the comment that you could have gone into a bit more detail.

What's the rush? A bit more history about the participants, a little build up to the point that they want to make a go of it together would be nice.

Sorry, but this was horrible. They meet and they fuck? A little bit of reality would be nice. I don't find many cousins that hug each other and start screwing LOL!

the idea was good but was to short, more detail

his 6" to 9" was he cut or not? long shaft,was it a thick shaft. was her clit a large one or what, was she shaved or a small patch, why not more sex at the swimming hole or on the beach why the age differences, been hotter if they both was same age , even like shared the same brithday

waiting to see more from you

This story was a good start, but could really use some fleshing out and details. Also, oddly I feel you jumped into the sex too quickly without any significant build up. You need some "foreplay", teasing, etc... and then get down to the serious stuff which could use more time and details. Still, its a hot topic and a decent start. I just hope you'll go back and fill it in some.

For your first entry , you did just fine . Don't start going the way of so many others by exaggerating and going into fantasy land , stay honest and simple .

I read your second submission first. If I'd seen this I'd have known not to have bothered.

Wonderful first story. I enjoyed both of your stories & I hope you will continue to write some more stories soon.

this could have been a good story but you posted a first draft not a complete story. you need to take time and get the readers involved make them want to know the people. give more background and detail what were they like before this and after. why did they do it and how do they feel afterwards. does she get pregnant do the parents find out. this reads like the middle of the story where is the begining and the end. do a rewrite and add to the story and use a good editor.

did you proofread this? she asks if he wants to go to the POOL and they end up at the BEACH. which is it POOL or BEACH? as is it sucks it could have been a good story if you had given some background and cared enough to proofread and use a good editor not to mention this needs an endding also.

Keep going please, I love a nice hot cousin relationship. I hope you keep them together so they can make some babies and enjoy a loving relationship.

Please keep up the story, I’d love to track along with it!