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All Comments on 'What If Ch. 01'
by Obsidian_moonlight
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- 2 Comments
Cousin-Barbalmost 17 years agoYery nicely done. Personally I could have done---
without the slaps but that's me---A couple of times you slipped from the past tense into the present--Very minor goof. Pleas don't screw up the rest of the story by adding in ANAL. Please. Pretty please.
Anonymousalmost 17 years agovery good
This was very good, but your grammar and spelling wasnt brilliant
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