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They both threw up their hands and screamed, "Oh my God!, We did it, we did it!"
Jeff had just won One Hundred and Twenty Thousand dollars. They hugged and he kissed her deeply for a whole minute and looked at her.
"This is only the beginning Baby, I love you," Jeff said.
The dealer returned Jeff's original bet and told him that he would have to see the Cashier to claim his winnings and fill out his tax information. She held onto his Voucher for the rest of his winnings. The Pit boss had walked over and spoke into a mic that was attached to his ear bud and asked out loud if it was ok to give him his voucher.
The eye in the sky told him it was on the up and up and they gave it to him and asked if he was staying at the hotel. They comped him for his room.
"Congratulations sir, well played," said the dealer.
Jeff threw a thousand dollar chip back on the table and they walked away.
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They were both ecstatic, they walked down to the cashier booth arm in arm with a little giddy up added to their step.
The cashier asked for Jeff's drivers license and his social so she could finish the rest of the paperwork and asked Jeff how he wanted his winnings to be paid out.
"I'll take a cashier's check please Ma'am," Jeff said in a voice full of delight!
He signed all of the tax info and took his check and told Laura that they needed to head to the room right now, because he had to sink his hard dick into his Pussy as soon as possible.
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When they walked into their room, Jeff pulled her in for a long, passionate kiss. "My little slave, Master is going to fuck his Pussy for the rest of the night and make you cum so many times until you pass out on me!"
"After Triple D earlier tonight Master, I don't think that is going to take very long Master," Laura replied!
She started taking off her dress and threw it toward the closet! She knelt before Jeff and took off his clothes and did the same as before with her own clothes.
After fucking her for more than hour using his power to hold off his orgasm, Jeff roared that he was cumming! Laura was barely awake, she had cum so many times that she was almost passed out beneath Jeff.
Jeff pulled out of her drenched pussy and rolled her over and slid in behind her. She was still awake but just barely holding on. Jeff took his thumb and slid it into her pussy and press down to find her "G" spot. He started rubbing against it hard for her and she screamed, "Oh Master, I am cu..........." The word slipped from her lips and she passed completely out right then and there.
Jeff pulled her in tightly to him and snuggled up with her in his arms and said, "Sleep my little angel, you earned it tonight!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On the drive home, they talked about what plans they needed to make for their wedding day. Laura was so excited and she rambled on about her dress, and the caterers as well as the florists that had to be called when they got home.
Jeff didn't mind at all, he was happier than he had ever been. They had their whole life's ahead of them still and he was so glad that they had finally gotten together.
He couldn't believe the turn his life had taken since he had found that little wooden box that day weeks ago. He had the power of the God's now and the woman of his dreams beside him, hopefully carrying his first born child and he knew, this was only the beginning for both of them.
He had some decisions to make about what to do with his retirement money, but he needed to talk with someone before he did anything about it. He knew that they had enough money from their weekend at the casino to carry them until they ran low and needed to make a return trip to reload their bank account.
Right now, all he had to worry about was a set of wedding and engagement rings, and where they were going to spend their honeymoon at. Life was grand for sure!
too be continued.............
- COMMENTS
Anonymousabout 9 years agoi loved the story and see a lot of potential.....all you need is a little proof reading to correct the little mistakes..........george
Anonymousover 9 years agoMaybe have him modify her body: hair color, boob size, her clothing. Have him use levitation or make her a sexy smoker. He could change her into an inanimate object if he has another woman near. Excellent beginning.
justme1289over 9 years agoAuthorFerrumitzal, lol, some of what you advised to do, is already in the pending Ch.2, and some in ch 3 which I am writing now...... great advice from all of you! I actually wrote ch 2 the same day I wrote the first. Hopefully, I edited it correctly after what some of you pointed as grammatical errors and will read much better than ch 1 did.
Believe or not, I wasn't really thinking of a long story when I first started writing this, which is why I rushed the story the way I did. I'll do my best to slow things down!
I have always enjoyed constructive criticism and really appreciate it! It is helping with the ideas for the rest of the story.
Keep it coming, please
Ferrumitzalover 9 years agoJust, you're doing good. The first few stories are always something that we work at, so don't feel like you're getting dogpiled. Constructive criticism is usually because people like the story and want to see it continue, improving as you go.
The biggest issue I had was that you jumped so fast into all of it that you didn't give the story time to develop. As soon as there was a hint of conflict, you resolved it immediately and permanently. That makes for a rather boring tale because you're forced to keep bring up action scenes that are immediately fixed.
To continue with the parts you've already established, I would involve more members of this mysterious family. Maybe have another member try to get the ring back. Maybe jump sequence a bit and tell some of the story from the early days of the ring, or how the ring wound up in a box in a derelict building. I mean, really, this ring is so important that it spent months/years in a dusty box? Why wasn't it being worn by a family member? What happened to the previous wearer if they had god-like powers and were invincible?
You imply that the ring has some level of sentience, so play on that. Is it a corruptive force? Will it try to get the protagonist to do things?
Laura's past? How long has she wanted to be a sex slave? Where did that come from? Usually, a woman that has those fantasies does so because she wants to be "forced" to do naughty things that society wouldn't approve of. However, you never once made any mention of that when she was talking. All through her introductory scene, things just went so smoothly... but we never once saw a hint that she liked being controlled and dominated until she just blurted it out afterwards. And as far as sex slaves go, she's very bossy and demanding. That doesn't jive with the fantasy.
Overall, good story. Just slow it down a good bit and let the story develop itself.
