All Comments on 'When Words Wander'

This was, in my opinion, the best ending I have read. I believe you stayed true to the original characters and then added depth that was absent in the original stories. Michael

As usual, you've done a wonderful job completing another person's story.

Boyd

Your grasp of humanity is outstanding. Thank you for taking the time to examine carefully these characters. Thank you for your research. And thank you for your take on this story and turning it into something precious and logical while remaining centered in the theme of the story and characterization. It was a pleasure to read and understand it.

The genius of Josephus has turned scat into nirvana.

is so much hot air and pompus legaleese. You think that you are some kind of great writer when in fact you story is dry, hard to keep up with and not really worth the time I used to read(rather fast) through it.

I gave you a 'O' because that was the lowest the site has. If there was a lower rating you would have recieved that from me. Now I know another pompus ass to avoid.

1st though please disregard the nici groupie comment, it was so unfair that the grape juice was overflowing her drizzle lips. <P>

Your talent and imagination is appreciated Author - in this more to life conclusion than what preceeded it.<P>

With Very High Regard

A nice recovery of what was once a thoroughly depressing scenario. While one could argue that the original treatment was realistic, I read here for entertainment and fantasy, not reality. It still grates to have a blatantly unloving wife act so appalingly without repercussion.

The best part, Josephus, is that you managed to do this within the characters' established personalities. The continuity from author to author is that Susan is selfish and has unrealistic expectations and Jon is artless and dogged. You use these traits to move the story forward so the ending doesn't seem as contrived as it might.

At first, Susan is positioned pretty well, but it's her pride and selfishness that make need to "tell her story" and ruin her case. (Trust me, many lawyers will tell you they've lost "slam dunk" cases because their arrogant client had to shoot his or her mouth off.) Jon may seem like he stumbles into surviving, but my experience is that many people will like a "good guy" who's a straight shooter and try to help him in little ways if they can. Over time, all those ounces add up to pounds and the good guy does ok. Not necessarily great, but ok. And that guy is more likely to keep the friends in the divorce and have a line of good women at his door.

So it may be a bit of a contrived ending, but we wanted to go that way with you so you made it flow and didn't dare us to ignore some dues ex machina. A very nice save indeed.

....of the sequels spawned from Nici's story. very well researched and quite informative.

Kudos!! you deserve the 100.

I have to agree with some of the other comments, I think this was one of the better sequels, and stayed true to the original. I also like the way the wife was dealt with.

Keep up the great writing and I will try to find all of your new writings as they come out.

Mike from Texas

You know already that I gave you my okay for your story, and your version of an ending. Even though I wasn’t “completely happy” with the adding in of the diary, I do feel you concluded the tale using proper characterizations and logically applied subjective chance.

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The usage of lawyers to unbalance the “balance of power and equality of strengths” between the two was brilliant, and “a natural”. You personally and emotionally wanted vengeance, but your vengeance remained a natural accumulation of facts and events. With your more knowledgeable and capable lawyers coming to the rescue, you did have the Calvary charging in, but you did avoid (mostly) the trite pitfalls and clichés of John-Wayne/Zane-Gray-isms throughout your storyline.

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Our storyline never was intended to be pleasant and enjoyable to read. It dealt with realism in characterizations, void of fantasy desires and wishes. Your ending dealt with real life coping, and therefore, I give you a “two thumbs up”. - Nici

I really liked Laura's speach to Susan. I wish I could meet a liberal that put people first instead of their ideas, maybe one day. I do think that Susan was very selfish and her judgement was zero on the scale. I liked this conclusion better than the original. Although, I like the thought of revenge, I feel that Susan got hers. I don't believe Rich would have pushed her away. He would have jumped her bones and then told her to hit the road. Rich's reaction was the only unbelievable part of the story. I did like the style, and the flow made it great.

Thanks,

Bob

great story.... as always for Joesephus

I think NICI comments speaks volumes about how much afooking whacko she really is. That any Man night have SOME emotion is simply unacceptable to her...

"john wayne" and Zane Grayism???

maybe she didnt have any dates in high school or college??

Harry, take your meds...

Like an earlier submitter, I come here to escape from reality. Nici's story is more realistic, but I like to see the bad guys lose every once in a while. The wife's arrogance in the original story is in keeping with her actions in this story, particularly in regard to her journal. You have a great gift for telling a story with strong moral values while keeping it as real as possible. Keep 'em coming.

you took what nici did and went where she should have ....better by far keep it up and please continue writing

For a great story

He almost had no choice but divorce her, His life would have been hell had he tried to continue living with her..

I loved the daughters comment, "I know, I've been kissing a lot of frogs lately".. Sometimes everything works out quite well!

Rush is not an asshole.

I am not an American. I'm opposed to the government of my country... which would make me a conservative in most people's opinion. I do not agree with some of Mr. Limbaugh's positions, but I listen to him, when I have time, to understand the thinking of American conservatives. I do think that while he makes excessive use strawmen, he makes many valid points. My use of him in this story was to establish Laura as a card carrying liberal. She is not one of the femanazis Mr. Limbaugh enjoys skewering, but as any good liberal she certainly feels that Rush paints liberal in a most unflattering and unfair light.

(Don't remember how old the daughters were), but any one who leaves a pistol where a kid can get it desrves to be anally reamed with a pineapple (the rough end!) and I say this as a keen shooter.

Joesephus,

pretty much in line with the original author. I disagree with the portrayal, but I accept that it's possible to think and act that way. You did a masterful job of character consistency in your version. Thank You. Ronnie W.

I liked this story, but I do believe you got a li'l wordy in spots.

"WRITE"ON!

You made a very good job of developing the character of the husband which was just sketched in Nici’s original. You added more details on the wife but I did not get the same sense that I truly have a better understanding of her. For that you would have had to create new chunks of narrative on Susan's life from earlier periods. Admittedly, that could have distracted from the main tenet you chose for your plot line, namely the rehabilitation of the husband and the girls. It’s understandable, as long as it is clear that there is an imbalance in the level of light the story sheds on the husband vs. the relative shade in which the wife remains. The story does not take upon itself to fully get into the mindset of the wife. By mindset I do not mean her own conscious level of which she could verbalize, definitely not the slurs or the moral rage epithets (I share the latter) but more of the deeper understanding (not justifications) of what moves this kind of a character to behave the way she did. In real life and with this kind of character, who is quite low on self awareness (very defended) or capability of critical introspection (being highly verbal would not necessarily predict a good candidate for self introspection), only prolonged therapeutic relations might provide the kind of insight I am talking about. As literature, any author could decide to take upon him/herself and use the literary license to penetrate the mindset of her charachter (not being an advocate or an adversary) and shed some light if not and in-depth picture of the yet untold story of how she came to where she came, A –la: ‘the rise and fall of Susan’. I have no idea though if there is more apetite among the authors community of Lit. to take on this task.

You added the missing elements from the previous stories - other adult interactions in this conflict between Jonathan and Susan. Susan in the previous stories operates in her own distorted reality where she can become a wife to two men and expect that kind of relationship should be acceptable to Jonathan. In your story she gets a reality check. While the outcomes are not that credible (her lover set up Susan in her own fuck shack so she can interview future husbands?) there is very clear adult feedback that what she was doing was wrong!___________________________

Thanks for the story!_______________S_L_E_E_P_L_E_S_S_I_M_D

Eleven highly-rated "H" stories in a row, and it's easy to see why. Keep on writing, my man!

i sure hope that this complete the story that had been started by Nici.

great writing and the story is the best of the sequels. love the ending.

How in the world Republicans got working people to vote for them is astonishing, that's like the chickens voting for Colonel Saunders. Joesephus thank you for fixing that drivel that Nici wrote. You have a lot of talent. With high regards. Luis

I have to say you are getting better with each story! You have done a superb job of taking a very feeble story and making it credible in your ending. It is hard to ever think of a woman this stupid much less supposedly strong. It is a sad state that lets some think that what one person wants is what the world owes them. I think you did a very laborious and effective work on this story line.______________You are one of the very best young people to use this site to express your writing abilities. It is an honor to read your take on the categories you pick to expound on.---------- With the utmost of respect_____Thank you--------PT

Well done Joesephus, very impressive! This powerful and deeply moving story explores the darkest sides of human relationships, but still has a brighter, happier edge to it. Beautifully written and a worthy sequel to the tale of Nici. Looking forward to reading more of your work. Pete.

The story was constructed very well and with lots of emotion. Some realistic, some not but that is what makes it a fictional story. Reading the comments, we found a similarity between Alvaron53's professional commentator comments & Rush's commentary - both are full of bullshit! It is amazing how idiots think alike! On a side note, it is interesting to see how Alvaron53's side-kick, "Phil" is so in-tune to the professional commentator. One could summarize, that their "toe-tapping" adventures at various airports could create such a "bond". All three of these idiots give new meaning to the defintion of "pathetic".

Anonymous, take your medication and stop drooling. You know better than to jerk yourself off in public. It's unseemly. Shame on you for making people think that you're an idiot.

<P>

We now return you to your regularly scheduled smut channel. Had Anonymous actually said anything important, you would've recognized that immediately.

For a very Gifted writer Joesephus was i congrat you and a very well put together ending from nici`s story that was much better where ever Joesephus is right now may his spirit rest in piece with all the great writers ahead of him.

Pat

Atlanta,Ga

♥

Well written and technically correct. Often stories with so much detail are filled with inaccuracies. This story didn't appear to have any. Thank you for a delightful read.

Very well written continuation of the story. Very well analysis of the relationship of the couple through the mouth of Larua.

it didn't have the emotional tension of Nici's story. There was a change in Susan's character by the author who tried to make her worst than she was.

The fem who wrote this piece that's so full of all the most horrid pop pyschobabble is . . short a bit in her pitiful tiny brain. Where'd u go to school anyway, the Oprah school of Dr. Phil?

The poor male character married first a totally self centered witch and the second ended up being a manipulative bitch. Y'll don't think so but read the story again and you'll see it - that's what all 'strong' fems do, even to those males like this male who is depicted as a wimpy wuss all the way through, he'd never know the 'strong fem' he married was manipulating him now would he?

So this writer, not 'author', that's too elevated to call her that - is most definitely NOT a strong fem, she IS a WANNABE.

Well at last! Somebody who got it! Too bad the original author (nici) who started this story didn't have a bloody clue. Seriously. What kind of twit tries to defend a psycho? "shades of gray..." yada yada. Ridiculous. The grayest of the grays is BLACK. Moron.

I have read all of the sequels I think, and no doubt this was the best... As far as Rush...the pill-popping hate monger is an ass-hole! I was raised in the forties,fifties and early sixties when most of America thought like him. Most of the good and caring people came to understand that his type of war-mongering, profit-taking, woman-hating, race-baiting..."thinking," is what caused all the grief in America since President Roosevelt! I love your writing and I am sorry for you that you agree with him on much of anything! It doesn't show in your writing thus far... Keep it up!

Splendid conclusion to Nici's ending. Her's was pathetic..yours was great!

Man you write from the heart. I just love your stories. I really wish you'd write more.

I cant seem to find any flaws from any of your stories.

Keep it up and thanks for these feel good stories.

When God embraced Josephus into his heavenly kingdom, the world lost a truly talented writer.

This was right on point, Susan will never be happy because the man she is looking for doesn't exist. Hazy Gray and Underway......The flags at half mast for you. RIP

What a style you have

loved it.

. . . that you're no longer with us to continue to gift us with your incredible writing skills.

What I didn't like in Nici's original Tale was that she said she wanted to create a believable Character for the Wife. But what she did was to create a raving sociopath. In the same fashion your dialogue between Laura and Susan is Pearls before Sows because you cannot talk a sociopath out of being sociopathic. Is it believable that he was married to a sociopath for 15 years and never noticed anything ? I dont know, never did that or got the T-Shirt, but while I think Nici failed in her attempt to give the 'Loving Wifes' category a Woman you can identify with, I think you caught up the loose ends as well as possible.

This was a truly heartwarming story where the good guy actually wins in the Divorce. At least as much as anyone can win. Shame there is no Laura to have such a frank conversation with some of their clients in real life. How many of us have wanted to tell some disillusioned someone how the cow ate the cabbage. It is a true shame that Josephus isn't still around to carry on with what would have been a great literature career.

jack

he slurped hot jizz, cornhole took a buggering, betrayed!

the part where the guy she cheated with offered to pay her for school and such was to much. She is a whore just pay her for her services as one and let it go.

A poignant ending to a horrific story about a self-centered woman. Although the collaborative process you portray sounds reasonable, more often than not when two people are divorcing emotions are running high and the desire to "win" the proceedings takes precedence over doing the right thing for all involved. A well written sequel. Keep after it.

For Nici's piece of crap. More satisfying and realistic than the other two. Josephus was a good writer I'm sorry I dismissed his stuff after reading one story I did not like.

and used a good story and created an ending, TK U MLJ LV NV

I am coming to detest these 'Take over someone else's story' stories.

That said, this one could make me change my mind. It was not the all abut revenge or wimps. And I agree with the other comment about the lawyer's lecture to the wife. I did think that the 'other man' was a bit of an ass. He was a major cause of the grief and while he admitted being an ass and offered to help fix things financially, he simply blamed the wife where he should have apologized to her for misleading her as well.

I will have to read more of Joesephus' work

I was very happy to see Jonathon wind up on top. I really sympathized with the character of Jonathon. I was thankful that he finally found a love worthy of his loyalty.

A tremendous ending to Nici's horrible tale. This author is sorely missed.

There's so many inaccuracies is this story, I gave up halfway thru the first page. A lawyer representing a lover in a divorce action would be clearly a conflict of interest if not grounds for disbarment. Though not the least of his financial obligations, If they did marry, the mentioned alimony would have ceased.

Thanks for ending a horrible tale as a "stand up guy".

Thanks for sharing on Lit.

x

too bad more lawyers aren't like Mark instead of sharks in bloodied water

Title says it all.

Not that it was long, there was just too much to it.

The author wrote:

"I hate it when I hear that asshole Rush talks about liberals not caring about results but only about intentions. I hate it when he says that liberals are more concerned about the reasons for an act someone does that what the act is."

Rush is absolutely 100% correct. To liberals intentions are everything. Results mean little except as a club to beat others who don't agree, over the head. They are more concerned about reasons for an act, hence the way libs lose interest in a act. A great example would be the Indians and all the Leftists who demonstrated with them against the Key pipeline. Did anyone see the garbage and damage they left behind in oil burning vehicles? It cost taxpayers millions to clean it up. Liberals had no interest in it.

Michael Savage said it best. "Liberalism is a mental disorder."

Truer words were never spoken.

is wondering if more women are batshit crazy delusional like Nici and just hide it better.

Started fine then you pulled some stupid legal shite out your ass, fantasy or not keep at least close to realistic.

well done, legal accuracy aside( they seem to make it up case byy case anyway).

since this is taking on a liberal, conservative theme, let me ask a few questions. When Obama won, did the conservatives riot , and destroy private and public property , did they oppose free speech, were any of their marches uncivil, did they break window assault police, have Hollywood types dream about burning the white house? hmm! I don't remember but I think I remember liberals doing such things under the gist of free speech. Since when is burning, destroying property, and rioting free speech. That is just the tip of the ice berg of things you do, your politicians are even worse, they lie steal and conspire with evil sources to achieve their agenda. sure an glad I'm not one of you. I remember the old days, if we weren't happy with the out come , we waited for the next election, I gees we were more civilized back then. Finally read the bible once in a while and learn what GOD thinks of your liberal belief .

...Taking a break from Trump fans and their cheerleading of fascism (Seriously do any of you people watch anything that isn't Fucks News?), this was a 5 star story.

It wasn't the greatest, the most awsome like you would not believe or even the best ever. But it was well written and it was totally UNIQUE. It was unique because it turned the sociopathic, FemiNazi train wreck of NICI's story into something that actually made sense. It unravelled the weak justifcations and broken logic and exposed them for what they were, the selfish, innane ramblings of a willful, unrepentant slut wife. She is exposed as a very stable genuis.

It was unique because Joesephus gave us an asshole cheater that wasn't a cunning wife hunting serial predator, just a weak, pathetic man, a guy that wasn't using depression as a ploy just to gain her sympathy and spread her legs (this bitch just decided to make herself available to him), and an adulterer who manned up in the end, accepted his wrongdoing and regretted shitting on a good and decent man, even if Rich's idea of compensation seems a bit ill conceived. And lastly, Joesephus gave us a legal representative that had the moral decency to be outraged and disgusted with the evil, demented thinking of her client.

It deserves 5* for these things alone. It is a shame things like these so rarely occur in LW.

Than having an indoctrinated useful idiot make a political statement on a Literotica

Loving Wives fiction forum.

Way better than original authors work.

So good your version washed theoriginals foul taste away. Thanks.

The author can dish out some serious dialogue. Total respect. Brilliant doesn't cover it. *****

What brilliant talent lost as such a young age. Please do yourself a favour and after you finish this story, read the authors biography. Jake Rivers I salute you for putting to words things that needed to be said in remembering this author. Dan

i read the original and went WTF what an unconcionable deluded self centered bitch. And honestly i was kinda dismissive of him not cutting bait. doing what he did would be like shooting yourself in the chest EVERY day. And while i think loving your kids would make you do alot. there is a limit to everything. That said, this was really well done. And not to hammer it but i like where the lady attorney called out the feminists who dont want to be equal but want to be the one with their foot on a mans throat, not all of them are like that but most, and this is what you get(ive actually seen it in a friend of mines now ex wife.. she was even more deluded than susan .. and is in jail for 4 years because of her bullshit. kudos to the writer he knocked this one out of the park

I rarely comment on comments, however, those who talk about legal I inaccuracies are wrong. In Texas the process he used is very real and effective. J spent a lot of time with a family law specialist and part of his purpose was to give a bit of publicity to what he considered a better approach to divorce.

You won't read this, but I have to say that this is one of the most moving stories that I have read here on LW. I realize that both men and women are this selfish and entitled, but this wife was a total bitch. I have read this same story by others, but yours is the best by far. Wish we had more lawyers like Mark and Laura in our world. Good to see a good man find the life he desrves. Wish we had more writers like you in the world too. RIP

Big John stay true to his cause and family,,,,,,Suzie-Q,,,,,couldn't live with the truth and chrysalliside to her inner psyche TK U MLJ LV NV

RIP

You forget that three children a older daughter, middle kid a son, and the baby girl. You lame red neck heck. You fucked this great story up. Kept it in Denver. Wgat load of 💩💩💩💩💩

So sorry Joesephus isn't will writing. This was an absolutely a great story, even if it did portray lawyers as ethical people

But the world’s best Hamburg flippers don’t make or find the huge pile of money to buy franchises.

It's just sad what the wicked witch did to him

Laura's rant to Susan was pretty much my feelings not just about Susan but Nici as well. I try not to shit on authors (try not always successful mind you) but the story that started these sequels was seriously out there.and that's being kind. There are a few other stories on here that attempt to pull the same shit. Its an agenda that boils down to this: the husband will provide for all financial and emotional support while simultaneously ceding all power and decision making to the wife. She doesn't have to reciprocate unless she decides so to do. The marriage may or may not be open but if so it will only be partially open because the husband must be completely available to the wife and family at all times. Therefore the wife may have lovers but he may not. This would not be cheating mind you, he supports completely. Whether the husband is granted sex is only a priority if the wife desires it so. If the husband is humiliated then well, his love is supposed to be all encompassing.

That is the agenda with the original. Its been repeated very recently and once again a lot of sequels.

Josephus, sorry you are no longer with us. You did a fantastic job. This feminist is with you 100%

A MUCH better ending. Thank you.

Great story..... RIP

Scores 5/5

Another interesting ending. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen the woman get burned the most by her own lover, but man he absolutely obliterated her. That was a much bigger takedown than Laura’s. That’s one many people don’t recover from and it’s clear from the epilogue that she didn’t given that she’s clearly a miserable person at the end still.

Once again, A great story from an author who is greatly missed. Still don't care for lawyers at all.

So it wasn't a seal story or spec ops protag. Those are MORE realistic.

EXCELLENT STORY! 5 STARS.

Quaint, once fashionable leftist take on feminism. It wasn't true then, and only someone cognitively impaired can believe that drivel today.

Jonathon was right about one thing. One of them needed to die. Too bad he didn’t have balls enough to make that happen. It would have been a less painful and much shorter story.

Excellent. Liked Lawyer Laura most of all. Emotionally shallow Susan partially reminded me of my exwife, all about her and not having the courage to discuss anything. Of course the good guy ends up wife a younger, beautiful, supportive 2nd. wife.

Wow talk about cliche upon cliche upon fucking STUPID so the husband is basically John Wayne without the personality or the intelligence just great

Very well done. Instead of WHAM! BAM! PUKE! CRY! that most authors bestow on their MMCs. This one took a different road and was very well done.

Kudos.

Excellent story. Read it several times over the past your.

A good version of an average original tale. Actually a great version. The best part was the conversations that shed light on the cheaters self absorbed behavior. Also she was panted much more accurately.

If someone was ever going to create M/C that made cheaters of a certain mode, pay violently for their deeds, this cheater would be a strong candidate. I could see the " Score Keepers Proxy" bestowing a severe punishment on the cheating wife. A person who is so wrapped up in "what about me" deserves to experience a severe BTB type of retribution...

great remake of Nicci's story, which was also a good story. Your part of Susan's diary was great.

Superior ending to a faltering mediocre original story... great save! ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Excellent!

Best alternate ending of an original.story that was quite pedestrian and unrealistic. Thr four year twist was interesting. So was Mark and (especially) Laura. The collaborative process was intriguing. Susan bringing the diary into the whole thing was a twist (of her selfish stupidity). Was also refreshing at some levels to see Rich drop her ass based on moral reasons so he good get his soul back. Susan is the prototype for the "me me me" spouse. Kids were good too. Cindy saving her father with the bullets taken out was quite captivating. Spouses threatened with divorce should always speak to their own attorney. It is (usually) never as bad as thenother party threatens it will be. Kids are better raised with divorced parents than thr parents "toughing" it out in a broken homr with their parents despising each other. Susan was delusional and really self-centered. Like how her latest wedding is like number four in 9 years (three as a bridesmaid and at least once as a flower girl for poor Nancy). Well written. Thr bsse storybline from the original author sucked.

A finishing story much better than the originals. Thanks for this story.

Thank you for this ending!!! 5*