White Lies

"Not that first time, we didn't." She grinned, jumping up, then pushing him back she piled on top of him. Walker finally managed to get her unwrapped or they would have been screwing right there on the porch.

Inside, he reached for a packet almost by habit, she looked at that and laughed.

"I don't think we need those damned things any more, honey!" She giggled.

"Thank God!" Walker laughed.

+++

The next month Walker and Carla stood up before the local judge, the only ones there were her brother and his wife, and his boss from work. Walker wouldn't have been happy with a huge wedding anyway, he was happy just knowing Carla was now all his.

A shade over six months later little Sara was born, how 9 pounds and five ounces came out of there Walker just could not imagine. He was right there in the room as she delivered, it was rather intense.

"That's impossible, I can barely get my...." He started to say when the head of his child appeared.

Then he managed to get his mouth shut, but not before one of the nurses looked at him and broke up laughing. Then they all started to laugh.

Even in the middle of sweating and straining, Carla started laughing also and that did it, Sara came squirting right out of there.

"We should put this guy on the payroll!" One nurse said to the other, then they smacked the baby on the fanny and she started yelling her head off.

Little Sara was born nice and fat, with a shock of red hair. That was a surprise until Sara mentioned that her late grandmother was also a redhead with green eyes.

+++

Walker could not have been happier, he and Carla settled down into an easy life style. It really helped when he was promoted to shift foreman a year later which jumped his pay nicely.

He also actually expected that there would be a second child quickly, but it just never happened.

That didn't matter, Sara filled up nearly every single waking moment of their lives.

When Sara was two, Carla mentioned she wanted to go back and finish her schooling, she still had a few years left to become a Registered Nurse.

Walker took on extra shifts driving the fork truck, saving up the overtime to pay for the schooling. His boss didn't mind that at all, Walker always managed to get the huge crates inside the boxcars without poking holes in them or smashing anything.

The next semester Carla went back to class, once again running the entire distance each day.

He realized how hard that was, Carla didn't drive and didn't want to learn. He couldn't drive her himself because he either had to get her there way early, or he would be late for work himself.

There was no bus line, so he bought her a bike. She rode it just one time, then refused to any more because the cars scared her.

So they moved to a larger apartment that was only a mile and a half from the college. Carla continued running to school and back.

Once school was finished, and Carla had her degree, she went to work for a local Doctor.

That lasted just a few months, she was then hired in a clinic that was part of a national chain. She began to take a taxi to work each day, not a problem since they could easily afford that.

The bad part about being a registered nurse is that there is no such thing as a schedule. People need attention when they need it, so often Carla came home hours late. Walker did not mind that at all, it gave him time to be with Sara, watching as she struggled with schoolwork, then delighting in her changing from a little girl into a young woman.

Walker now managed the warehouse he worked at, their combined income was enough that they had few if any things they could not afford. They found a nice little two bedroom house and bought it.

Life became even better, they both enjoyed Sara, watching her develop as she went through grade school, then high school

Walker was home with her the night a boy came to the door for the very first time. He answered to door to a young well dressed and polite young man.

"Daddy!" Sara squealed in protest when he told the young man that Sara was his daughter and he WOULD bring her home EXACTLY like she was at the very moment...or ELSE!

The young man turned bright red, Walker grinned at his discomfort. Then Sara hugged him, nodding when he called out "MIDNIGHT!" after them.

It was fifteen minutes to midnight when Walker heard the car drive up outside. He had the lights off and was sitting in the living room in the dark. He got up and quietly slipped into bed with Carla.

"She is home." He told her. She giggled and hugged him.

Finally one tearful day Sara was off to college all the way on the other side of the country. Walker had doted on her, she was the most precious thing in his world.

But suddenly it was just Walker and Carla again, both of them barely into their 40's. At first that was wonderful, they had much more time for lovemaking, going out. The front lawn became beautiful, completely weed free. Even the picket fence Carla had wanted around their little piece of the world got built.

Once each week Sara called and they had a long visit, Walker found himself looking forward to each call.

Sara, beautiful Sara with her tall magnificent looks and long flowing red hair, and her mother Carla were Walker's entire reason for being.

+++

Then Carla became moody. She would be bubbly happy, then long periods of acting like she was upset. It didn't take very long before the mood swings rubbed off on Walker and affected him.

There were quite a few arguments, all of them about nonsense. After one rather fierce one that was completely messing up his ability to watch a race on TV, Walker blew his stack and drove down to the old bar he used to frequent.

It had been years since he was even in the place, it looked exactly the same. The same photos hung on the wall, he felt like he had never even left the place. One would think that two decades would bring lots of changes, but it was like he was young again, right back in that time years before.

There was an old lady sitting on the end bar stool, Walker knew it couldn't possibly be the same one but it sure did look a lot like her.

The bartender was now a woman, overweight with way too much cleavage showing. So much that when she bent down to pick up a bottle out of the cooler, the fact that she wore no bra became quite clear.

"Whatcha have, honey?" She asked. He ordered a beer, finding he liked the familiar taste, it had been years since he even drank one.

He was sipping on his third one, thinking it was time to head on home and see if Carla had calmed down when someone slid onto the stool next to him.

It took him a moment, then he realized it was Sherry. That nearly floored him. Over twenty long years and she was still coming in here?

"So, Walker! How in the hell are you?" She asked.

"Sherry. Well, I'll be damned! You look great!" He told her.

She did, too. She had on a loose top, on the short side matching skirt. She actually appeared to be a bit dressed up for only four on a Saturday afternoon. He would have expected to see some weight gain but there was no sign of that, even her hair was the same color, although it was shorter and in a page boy style.

"So, are you married, a houseful of kids?" She asked.

"Married, but just one girl. You?"

"I was once, for about three months. Now I am single." She gave him a sidelong glance.

"No kids, then?"

"No. I just never found the right guy."

"Why not?" He asked.

"When I did decide on the one I wanted, someone else had already grabbed him." She grinned, giving him a sidelong glance.

Walker nodded, that didn't quite register on him.

"You remember that day I came over to see you, but you were with...that girl?" She asked finally, after a long moment of silence.

"Yes, that was Carla, she is the woman I married."

"I know. I had made up my mind, every guy I went out with was just...I kept coming back to you. You always made me feel..you know." She smiled, her eyes settling on his.

Walker felt himself blush slightly at that, Sherry certainly had been good in the sack, they had done about everything two people can possibly do and a few things that might raise some eyebrows. He felt himself begin to erect at the long forgotten memories.

He looked directly at her, she looked back with a sly smile. Those same old long forgotten memories, feelings started right up again. He was just about to ask her, even though deep in the back of his mind he knew it would be wrong.

Just then a man in his fifties stepped up on the other side. He said something to her that Walker didn't catch, she shook her head no.

"OK. Can I call you later then?" He asked.

Sherry nodded, turned back to Walker as the man ambled off.

"What was that?" He asked her.

"Just a customer." She smiled at him.

"Customer?" Walker asked, slightly confused.

"A girl has to earn a living, honey. But hey, if you want to, I won't even charge you. Call it for old time's sake. Besides, with you I know I will like it." Sherry told him, a big smile on her face.

"You mean..? You are a working girl now?"

"Hell, I always was, you know that." She grinned at him.

"So that is why you were dating?..No. I didn't know that."

"It's no big deal, Walker. So how about it? Want to have a nice roll in the hay?" She asked.

"Thanks anyway." Walker told her, then he got up and left. She just shrugged her shoulders, the last he saw as he was going out the door was her walking over to the older man's table.

+++

Carla was sitting in the kitchen looking out the window at some Hummingbirds fighting over a feeder she kept there. Walker went over and hugged her, she stood up and pressed tightly to him.

They made love starting right there in the kitchen, ending up in the living room. They might have scooted right on out the front door except it was closed. Every time she lifted with her hips and Walker pressed into her, they slid a good foot. They started giggling when his head bumped the front door.

That was one of those wonderful times, everything was right in the world again.

+++

The wild mood swings continued though, Walker was making a great effort to remain calm around her.

Finally Carla gave up the fight and took the medication to get her body back into balance.

As a nurse, she knew what was happening, as a woman, she had tried to resist it. She became close to normal, acting happy again.

It was about a month later when Carla came home from her shift acting oddly. Walker knew something was up, he just had no idea what.

After dinner, she came in and sat down.

"I want to ask you something, honey." She said.

"Sure, what?" Walker set down his newspaper.

"You and I have always been...just us, right?"

"Well, yes, we have. Why?"

"When we first met, I was only with a couple of guys in my whole life." She said.

"I thought you said just one, but what does that have to do with anything?"

Carla hesitated for a long time.

"I know I told you that, but...There was one boy in my class, it was before I met you. We were dating a lot, I guess I fell in love with him?"

Carla hesitated for a moment, searching for the right words.

"But he went on to another school, we couldn't...we broke up. When I met you, I was still...seeing him...sometimes. But just for a few weeks."

"I didn't know that. That's part of why you insisted I not drive you to school?" Walker asked.

"Yes. I am sorry, I should have told you but then I fell in love with you so that..he...didn't matter." She said.

"Why bother to tell me this now?" Walker asked.

"He is back, he started work at the hospital two weeks ago, he has the afternoon and evening shift so I see him..every day. He has already asked me out a couple of times. I guess I was just afraid you would find out anyway."

"Doesn't the guy know you are married?" Walker was starting to feel a bit pissed off.

"Yes. He does."

"So what does this all mean?" Walker's voice began to raise.

"Don't yell. I was thinking about it. I....I want to."

"What? You want to go out with one of your old lovers? Are you insane?"

"Don't you yell at me. I am just telling you. I never dated...did very much when I was young, and Johnny makes me feel? I don't know, good I guess."

She looked down for a moment, then back up at him with a determined look on her face.

"Why in the fucking hell bother to tell me? Why not just go cheat and get it over with?" Walker stood up.

"I...I love you, I don't want to break us up. I can't..I don't want to lie to you about it. I just want to...I don't know, feel good I guess? Something different? I liked being with Johnny, and I probably would have...but I met you."

"Johnny, huh? Carla, this is crazy. You are asking me for permission to have an affair?" He yelled.

She cringed slightly at his loud tone.

"Yes. I guess I am asking you exactly that! It wouldn't have anything at all to do with us." Her chin came up, Walker had seen her get that stubborn determined look on her face before.

"How in the god damned HELL would that not have anything to do with us?"

"Please don't YELL at me! It won't, honey, I still love you and I will still be here."

"Well, my answer is NO!" He yelled.

"You don't own me!" She shot back.

Walker looked at her in shock, his mind flashed back to those exact same words coming from Sherry over 20 years before.

He turned and walked out the front door, got into his car and drove away. He had no idea how far he drove, or even where, the next thing he remembered he was pulling in at the old bar.

The place seemed like it was a magnet when he was upset or bothered by something.

The old lady sat on the end stool, she looked up at him and waved. Walker went over to her and introduced himself, she smiled and shook his hand.

"My name is Helen." She said. He nodded, went and found a stool at the other end of the bar, he had no idea at all why he had done that.

The same female bartender with the same overexposed cleavage served him a beer. Walker sat and sipped it, his mind whirling. Twenty long years with Carla, then she sprang something like this on him?

No way in hell could he stand for that. The fact that she knew someone else before him, or even dated at around the same time was something he could accept. There had not yet been any commitment. But now there was, they were married.

They had a child together? How could she do this, or even consider it? In fact, perhaps she already had, and was just feeling him out for a reaction?

How in the hell could she even consider something like that? Walker felt a tear slide down his cheek, he tipped his head and wiped that away.

Helen got up, came over and sat down beside him. He looked over at her, mildly surprised. She looked to be well into her sixties, just a nice looking older woman.

"Honey, either your best friend died or you have a Dog biting your leg." She said with a smile.

"Wife problems." He said.

"Oh. Is she having an affair?" Helen asked him bluntly.

"No. I don't think so..yet. She says she wants to, some guy she knew way back."

"Do you guys get along?" The old woman's manner was disarming, Walker found himself answering her.

"Yes. Usually anyway. The last few months she has been moody, acting funny."

"Change of life, maybe?" She asked.

"Yes, I think so. Perhaps that is it?"

"Some women go all to crap when that happens, honey. They feel old and not desirable. It takes a lot of love and understanding, sometimes a Doctor can help."

"Hell, she is a nurse, and she saw a Doctor about it. Why would she suddenly want to go out with some old boyfriend?"

"She probably feels like she is losing her looks, when those hormones get messed up, just about anything can happen."

Walker didn't know what to say, he just took a sip of his beer.

"One thing, honey. You aren't going to fix anything down here." She grinned at him.

Walker understood that, he got up to head home. Then he turned back to the old woman.

"Who are you, by the way?" He asked her.

"I was a mental health professional for fifty years, honey. I could spot you being messed up from a mile away." She grinned at him.

Walker nodded.

"Go hug her and love her and convince her she is beautiful, and if that doesn't work, come on back and see me." She smiled.

"Thanks." Walker nodded and left. He planned to go home and do exactly that.

+++

Walker drove very briskly all the way home. He pulled into the driveway, and ran into the house.

Carla wasn't there. He had no idea at first where to even look, Carla didn't drive so she either called a taxi or someone picked her up.

"You don't own me!" Were the very last words she had said to him.

There were only two cab companies, he called both and neither one had a call to his house. Picking up the phone again, he called the hospital, telling them he could not remember the name of the new Doctor on staff.

"That would be Doctor Jonathan Hansen." The receptionist told him. Walker thanked her and hung up.

The hospital had a message machine, listing the names and extensions of each member of staff. When it said, "Doctor Hansen, extension 1430." He punched in the number.

A message came on telling him to leave a name and phone number, that Doctor Hansen was in conference until 10 PM. Walker looked at his watch, it was just before 9.

He went out and got into his car, headed for the hospital as fast as he dared drive. Inside, he looked at the room chart in the lobby, then headed down the long hallway. He found the room, opened the door and walked in.

Carla sat there at the table, she had a cup of coffee in front of her. She looked up at him in surprise.

"Walker? What are you....?"

Walker looked at the man sitting across from her. He was tall and good looking, wearing a white smock.

He had a shock of red hair.

Walker felt his blood run cold, he stepped over to the table, put his hands on it and leaned forward.

They both just looked at him. He saw Doctor Hansen's face turn color. Walker knew right then, that very instant. It was obvious, both of them showed the signs of guilt.

"Carla is my wife. If you ever touch her again, I will track you down, cut off both of your arms and legs and take you down to the river and throw you in!" He told the man in a calm and flat voice.

The man just sat there, his face stone white.

"One other thing. My advice is for you to leave town. And FAST!" He glanced over at Carla.

"You! You have already fucked this asshole, haven't you? I can see it in your fucking face." He told her in the same calm flat voice.

Carla just sat there, her face showed the truth.

Walker looked back at Jonathan.

"I am going to call the cops!" The man managed.

"Do it! It won't make any difference at all. They will have to let me out sooner or later, and there is no place on planet Earth that you will ever be able to sleep again!"

Then he turned and walked out the door.

He drove home, tears streaming down his face.

Sara. His Sara. Born with that same shock of red hair. Two decades of love, caring for her, thinking she was his and now he was sure she was not.

He went inside, shut the door and sat down. Somehow he slept. The next morning when he woke up, Carla wasn't there. Walker went in and packed several suitcases, put them into his car and drove all the way to a nearby town. He left the front door to the house standing wide open.

He rented a motel room, paying a month in advance.

He called his office, explaining that he had a problem, and wanted to take his vacation time. His boss argued, saying they needed him.

"I think Carla is cheating on me." Walker told the man flatly.

"Shit! Just shit! Fucking women, God damn it! Go ahead then, Walker, do what you have to do. Just don't get stupid, OK? I will run the office until you get back."