All Comments on 'Who Would've Thought?'

My main criticism was that you jumped so far ahead in the action: one line she accepts the action from all the other guys, next line they're at the payoff? Where's the story? I wanted to read about her riding one man while another two jammed their cocks in her mouth. I want to read about the surprise she felt when Evan's near-footlong stretched her arsehole open while she was straddling another guy. I want to read her coming to the acceptance that she was a public gangbang whore, pulling a train on nearly a dozen cocks simply so she wouldn't have to stand up on a train.!

Don't take this criticism too harshly: I gave it three, but with more detail I could see myself giving it a five. Hope to read more of your work as it comes along.

Down Under Dude

Fist in her ass. Oh, come on. I guess you decided to turn the bullshit knob up to 20.