All Comments on 'Whose Fault Was It Ch. 03'

its rather cliche actually. Years later the wife is longing for her husband. Yawn

WTF happened to this story! you should have quit with chapter 2

Adding "fat" to a story to make it last longer is not a good literary device. If nothing new, end the tale.

Writers take pride in what they post or print. Making sure that the words are right, puctuation correct and that the story makes sense. You continue to ignore these basic rules of writing. So, "Want A B Writer" really doesn't fit. Although it will be easy to avoid your stories in the future.

I really find it difficult to believe that he lost his interest in Julie and is pining for Janet....

One thing a writer must do is that he must reread his work three or four times to catch all the typos, spelling errors and poorly done sentences. There is no substitute to seeing the whole work from beginning to end or end to beginning. It will help all aspects of your writing. Spell check useless because it only catches word that are not in the dictionary, if the word is wrong in context, but correctly spelled it will just pass it by! But the important thing besides catching these errors is to think about what the completed work looks like. You might consider only posting when the whole story is done and then post a chapter at a time.

Good luck!

He needs Janet like another hole in his head. Getting better.

Really, you need an editor. Some of the writing flaws make the story difficult to read.

That said, it is a good story.

From what I gather the wife is an intelligent manipulator. She controls everything around her. She covered her ass by getting rid of the other guy, and she still has not told the truth. Devious bitch. She deserves the bad dreams.

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who are reading this story. "They" read too much into a work of fiction and need to get into authors story, out of their own mind.

WABW,

Good story and writing. Great effort.

Thanks for sharing on Lit.

x

I GAVE THIS CHAPTER A 4......TOO MUCH NON SEQUITUR. TK U MLJ LV NV

I wish I hated these two characters, at least that would be more stimulating than these one dimensional, cliched people. Zwieback! I cannot go on. This story reads like being on the Bataan Death March...death by boredom. I am sorry...I did try. Farewell!

This is deteriorating fast. Way too much totally unnecessary descriptions of sex. You've lost the thread. The main part of the story does not need it. This was a detour going nowhere; can you ever get back to the main road? Luckily, your misspellings provide comic relief.

And you want to be a writer ?? BAH !

This moved a bit better

Thanks for the effort.

Mark isn't hiding. A PI could have found him easily. Social security number, Driver's license in Washington, Internal Revenue Service. All could be searched by a decent PI and Mark would have popped up. No problems. They don't need to find each other and they shouldn't. All it will do is bring up past memories that are better off left alone. PLEASE do not have them reconcile. It would make no sense.

The stupid cunt needs to be paid back as well as Steve.

This is a flop.

If you want to be a writer, you must have an editor. Spellcheck is insufficient. In a story with multiple legal threads, it is unconscionable to use the word 'liable' when you mean 'libel'. It is annoying and breaks the flow of the story. You have a decent (if thin) plot and engaging characters (especially Hilda) so please pay attention to the details. Thanks for writing. JPR

The whole series seems out of order, after finish reading whose-fault-was-it-second-half-ch-05?page=2 the end, whose-fault-was-it-ch-02-05 the detail of what happened to Janet and Mark I realized that the series needs to be reorganized. The last 4 chapters whose-fault-was-it-ch-02-05 should have been integrated into the beginning of the story. At any rate it was a good story and I gave it 5 stars.

4 stars. In much need of editing and spelling check. But Janet was a woman of means and could have easily hired a PI to get his address and phone number and email address. Piece of cake once she identified the company and the region (Seattle).