All Comments on 'Why?... 01'

Is the rationale behind this story supposed to make sense?

An overweight guy loses his wife in a car accident, and finds out she was having an affaire. He starts training and becomes a hot number for women. I don't get it.

Is he giving his dead wife credit for turning his life around?

wow I have no idea where this is going at all. The guys wife /slut is dead and he goes to a fitness center. Then meets two lesbians and has sex with them. Next he will have a train run over another out of the blue friend. so far a 2

Really good first chapter, keep it up it up. Looking forward to chapter 2....

I was going to give it a 3, but decided to do a 4 since this appears to be exposition.

He's just a pussy hound, that's fine; bu there's no love or even any like. One lame encounter after the other. What's next? More of him fucking women?

The title might be a tad too spot on. Why?

I'm not feeling it, buddy. It seems pointless with no real thread to tie it together. The scenes seem forced and mechanical.

Two lesbians who play with men from time to time. I've been (dragged) to two Indigo Girls concerts in my time--trust me, there's not a hope in hell.

Shouldn't this be under Romance instead of loving Wives?

....

You've spent a lot of time showing us how he's changed his life, but it went nowhere. It's a chapter and we hope it gets better, but the backstory, if that's what it is, was too long and quite unremarkable. The believable part is that he's now prejudiced against fat people.

Started out promising, but quickly went in the shitter. I stopped giving a fuck about him by the end. By the way, if he "doesn't have an ounce of fat" then he's dead. Body can't survive without it.

But then I began to feel sorry for the revenge crowd. Both are dead and so can not supply the ideal revenge.. He did burn the bitch, but by agreement, and seems to feel that he will end up in the same urn with her.

The rest seems to be a fairly straight forward stroke story. Not quite the kind of interesting story that Mikoli usually posts, so far. Let us read the next chapter.

For a guy who found out his wife was cheating in him after he suffered losing her in a car wreck - life is good! A millionaire, fitness freak with all the pussy he can eat! The only problem he has is that he doesn't have a problem! No dramatic plot device... Getting boring...

that's because this was probably the set-up to an all hell breaking loose ch2 LOL

In this area readers are sometimes spoiled by plot and characters and sometimes we forget this is a site dedicated to erotica. This is simply a story about a guy who is enjoying his escapades. Give it a break, this ain't the Saturday Evening Post...

Wonder what's gonna happen next?

Will your character find a woman for long lasting connection in the more sequels and SHE WILL BE CHEATER AGAIN???????

any good in this. we have a guy who is sad a. because his wife is dead and b. because she cheated.

and then the guy changes not only body no character and fucks every women like I shake hands. is this the "your countrys" way of life ? what should be interesting so far ?

he has 1 story that is close to a 4.00 rating.

So dont expect this crap to make ANY sense

This is posted in Loving Wives so I'm going to assume there is a wife in this story somewhere. I know his wife died and I will never understand these stories where the wife dies in the beginning. It's really hard to write about a dead person and even if you do they are dead and cannot create drama or tension. I won't vote because I have no idea where it could be going. I hope we don't have to read about him fucking anymore women though. The guy turned into a frat boy and how many of you guys have been know to like or get along with frat boys?

Where have all the good writers gone??? This is a Jezzaz story, which I am sure will have a Katmai ending.

How boring. I agree with HIV. This "writer" has only one story approaching four and this is the reason why.

It is confusing , a LW with no wife ! Maybe that is the point

The author is exceptionlly creative. One catagory cannot hold him.

Chapter 2 is probably E.C. or group. This could have gone anywhere. I am not going to complain. I got what I paid for .lol.

A Merry Man

A different plot line. Not badly written. Toward the end it comes close to red-lining the fantasy scale. I like my fiction a little more believable.

He having unbelievable sex, retired with plenty of dough from auto accident settlement, got himself sniped,no more kids to love. So where does he go from here. Another wife coming up , this story can become boring. Let him meet a loving women with kids and live a normal happy life. Or he becomes an old jiggalow.

...ah, but you know he's going to have to go through all kinds of shit before he lives happily ever after! In fact, mikoli has already foreshadowed what will happen.

Methinks too many readers came here to trash the story, based on mikoli's previous low scores; they are not reading with an open mind.

I like how he sues the Dr. Rogers widow after the man cheats on her. That's like a slap in the face. "Oh by the way, your husband cheated on you, died, you get to pay all the bills and support all the kids if you have any, and I'm going to sue you for the insurance settlement as well." All this, and she's as innocent of the affair as he is.

What a fucking prick. Definitely does not deserve the pussy he's rolling in. I doubt it'll happen, but Chapter 2 needs to have him picking up a hard dose of the old AIDS.

No 24 year old is going to pick up with a 44 year old guy. This is not even remotely believable. Earns a 1 though

And then I woke up, and it had all been a dream.

The observation regarding a 'loving wife' is certainly germane! "Renee, we hardly knew ya...nor Dr. Rogers!" We know only a few things about the woman who supposedly triggered this saga! Sweetie was always a 'big girl' and gradually became bigger. Hubby liked her a lot. She had a boy-child who died in his teens. Sweetie stopped Hubby from drinking himself into oblivion after that tragedy!

We know even less about her Bull, but he wasn't that a big a part (hehe=lol) of this tale! If THAT is the 'loving wife' component, then this story is misplaced! It is VERY hard to imagine anything about 'the Renee episode' driving anything else in the future of this serial.

Turns out (so far) that 'Fat Ass' croaking in seedy circumstances has made Hubby's life unrealistically richer. Pity he could not have figured all this out five years ago, and gotten himself and Sweetie into great health and diversified sexual partnerships!

The story is better than earlier efforts, but is rambling, hubby-aggrandizing and, to this time at least, pointless!

I didn't major in English, journalism, or any of the other humanities you seem to find in most authors bios. Haven't taken any Creative Writing classes at the junior college in town so yeah, I'm not a polished writer. I think I'm improving, try to use my twisted sense of humor to do different than the same old same old, and try to use the constructive criticism to improve when there is some. Almost every story I write has a tidbit of actual events from either my life or others I'm acquainted with. To the commenter who wrote that a 24 yr. old wouldn't go for a 44 yr. old, you're so wrong. Didn't happen to me, but an older friend of mine who was 42 instead of 44 dated and eventually married a 22 yr. old. The three of us worked in the same factory at the time. He was a widower and she was divorced from her abusive husband who'd been her high school sweetheart and didn't show his true colors until they were married. They are still together and its been twenty years.

I swear i read a similar story less then two months ago called heart of the prairie

Wow. I can relate. Yeah, but only to a point. He accomplished too much and got too many younger women after the fact for this to be believable. Bring it back down to earth. As much as I wanted to really like this tale, it leaves much to be desired. I'll continue reading. Maybe I'm a glutton for punishment. We'll see...

Stories are based on conflict and drama, and there is none of that. The death of a child is a big deal, but it's glossed over so much that it doesn't really further the story line.. It's a problem for the author to kill off the cheating spouse before the cheating is exposed...and any ploy to get the drama of the cheating into the story, e mails being the most common, or maybe porn videos the stud took is sort of contrived. So you have a dramatic event, ironically with no real drama. Wonderful clash between grief at the loss of a spouse, and fury at the duplicity, the sort of cancel each other out.

The story then goes off into fantasy land, Wandering in the out of shape wilderness, Ivy league competent making big money through a law suit for a working class idiot, blah blah blah. No conflict, no drama, no striving, row row your boat gently down the stream of life.

All that said, the writing is quite good, sometimes it takes practice, so keep going.

Chilley

I like endings that have the hero happy with life and this story fits that type of story.

I'd like to see more of his adventures in having women, and perhaps find a woman that is just what he wants in a woman.

Thanks for the read.

one shouldn't let his brains outthink his belly. TK U MLJ LV NV

he smoked the fattest cock, took it in the cornhole, betrayed!

Write this story? Nothing to see here. Move along folks, move along.

Let's see what there is to see -

Good to read that the poor husband gets some healthy good sex after being betrayed by a cheating wife.

TBH there is not much story regarding the 'why' the wife did it ! ?

no matter winner or loser, TK U MLJ LV NV

Jeez...I'm surprised you didn't have him as a karate black belt and an CIA black ops killer too! Yadda yadda yadda about the women all coming on to him and he is such a great lover! If he was so great why was his wife fucking around on him? Lose 40 lbs. and become the world's greatest lover? I don't think so! Get real ....at least so he is not like a cartoon superhero! People just don't evolve to the degree that is written here. Try writing about a real person...I mean if once a cheater always a cheater applies than it must go the other way also.....in my humble opinion!

We don't.know why, you didn't tell us. I'll try chapter two.

that she died before her could confront her. Now it is unfinished

business where she forever getaway with it (in her mind before she died). Ya he knows now but so what. I say piss on her grave or send her cheating ashes to the local dump where trash belongs.

They don't piss around at that crematorium!

Pretty good chapter, I'll read the next one to see where it goes.

Again, don't remember this one, but that must be a good gym. For the cheating wife, it's always the last time that does you in. Hard to believe that a hot young doctor loses his mind.over an old, overweight, nurse.

The only things missing from this gym advertisement are the name and location of the place, which is a real bummer because I'd sign up in a heartbeat to an establishment that could first give me the body of Adonis then zap me with a Martian stud ray so with no effort required from me, I could be bombarded with more sex crazed women, desperate to have a piece of me than I could shake a stick at! Talk about living the dream!

The dialog in this (and other stories?), needs a wee bit of tweaking. Hardly anyone, after high school, would converse this way.