Why Can't He Just Tell Me

It all started about 3 years ago. I was on my way to meet some of my girlfriends at a nearby pub after work for happy hour. We discussed this meeting at length for the purpose of making sure that our one friend who we call "Forgetful Fanny" would be there the right day and right time.

For some reason I got dressed up casual but stunning for tonight. I was feeling down and out for too long and I went out and bought myself a new outfit just for the night. We have dress down day at the office on Fridays but this wasn't the Friday for me to do so.

I bought a pair of dressy black jeans and a purple and blue blouse and a orchid blazer. I had a good size set of tits - 42D to be exact and they always got me noticed and in trouble with men.

I got there before the other girls so I walked in and found myself a seat at the bar because I needed a drink really, really bad. It was a rough week at the office and I was depressed that I didn't have a date for the office party a month away. I ordered my usual JD shot and drank it down fast. I didn't want to be too loose before the girls got there. It seemed like it was taking them forever to get there that night.

While I was waiting, a black guy walked in who was built like a football player. Shaved head, clean baby face with my favorite feature - a dimple in his chin and both of his cheeks. He looked around as if he was looking for someone, probably his girlfriend/wife and then stood next to me and ask "Is anyone occupying this stool next to you??" I said, "No, please go right ahead". He thanked me and gave me a heart melting smile and a wink.

He ordered, of all things a shot of JD. He smelled as good as he looked. I was becoming intoxicated by him. The bartender asked me if I was ready for another one and normally I would have said no since I didn't want to be that far ahead of the girls but I said yes. At the time he brought the bottle over to my shot glass my neighbor had finished his and asked for another and to put my shot on his tab. I looked over to him and we clinked glasses and he said "Cheers to you and cheers to me". He then introduced himself as Jim and I told him my name was Joan. We shook hands. He had a firm but gentle grip and such soft hands. He asked me what I was doing alone and I told him I was waiting for my girlfriends because we did this every other Friday and he said that his friends did too. We were talking about our jobs and life in general and we kept on having shots.

He ordered an extra large plate of their special wings and shared them with me. We both were wondering where our friends were but it didn't even seem to bother us that they weren't there.

Half way into our wings, my cell went off and it was one of the girls, she wanted to know if I wanted to catch a movie tonight and I told her I was here waiting for everyone and she informed me that it was next Friday because she thought someone called to tell me of the change. I told her that no one called me. I got off the phone and told Jim what happened and he asked if I was leaving and I said "No, I'm staying". He smiled and those dimples got me. I didn't see any ring on his finger but that doesn't mean a hill of beans. We finished the wings and he said "How about some dinner after we digest the wings??" I said "Sure, but what about your friends??" He said, "They can come but I can still have dinner with you". We had a beer and talked more and he told me he did play football but had an injury force him out of the game his senior year in college. He broke his back and was in rehab for over 2 year having to learn to walk again.

I told him that I was involved with a lot of school activities both in high school and college but never was popular with the guys. I liked a few and they just seemed to like my chest and my brains and always wanted me to help them with their homework, reports and projects. Two of them actually took me out for a date for thanks and one expected me to go to bed with him for thanks for the dinner and I thought "what the hell is going on here?"

He was shocked to hear that I didn't have much luck with the guys as he said I was smart, pretty and had a great shape. He admitted he was a "tit man" but that there was more to a girl than just her tits.

He got a call on his cell and it was his friend saying that they were hitting a dance club tonight and invited him and he said he was at the pub for happy hour and they said that they decided that this week they were hitting the dance club instead and well it funny he never got their message.

We talked more and then we decided what we wanted to have for dinner but he suggested that we go elsewhere as no one else was coming and I looked much too pretty not to be showing myself off. I know I blushed as I felt my face get all warm and I got a chill.

He told me to leave my car here and he would drive us there because he knew a great place where they had good dinners, music and dancing and I was game, but I said I would follow in my car - it was fairly new and didn't want anything to happen to it.

He picked up the tabs, mine and his and left a nice tip. He wouldn't take any of my money as he said he did the ordering and I didn't. I told him I would pay for dinner and he said "No you won't, it was my idea". I got in my car and called my girlfriend and told her I wasn't going to be home tonight and have a good time whatever she decides to do.

We pulled up to this great looking place. It looked like a house all done up really old fashioned and they severed all kind of home style comfort foods which all smelled and looked awesome. They had a great selection and they had a sampler platter of a little of everything and that's what Jim suggested because it was hard to choose just one.

He took me by the hand and we walked in. The girl by the door knew him and welcome him in. He told her he wanted a table away from the crowd. She gave us our own corner of what I called heaven.

We ordered our dinner and had wine with our meal. They were marching around the dessert cart and again they had sampler which had 2 of each tiny samples of all their signature desserts and of course that is what we ordered. In between dinner and dessert he asked me to dance as he liked the song being played; it was an oldie and one of my favorites "Take me as I am" by a group called "The Duprees".

We danced slowly and closely and he thanked me for the dance and gave me a very sexual kiss on the lips. That certainly sparked a fire inside me.

We finished our meal and the waiter thanked us for coming and asked if we would be staying for dancing and Jim said "Next time and I will take the check now". The waiter had informed him that the entire meal was paid for including the tip and he looked at me as if I was the one but I wasn't. The waiter then told him the owner/operator would be picking up the tab and would be right out.

Gary who came out of the small office greeted Jim and I was introduced. He told Jim it was just a small way of thanking him for all the help he got for him getting the place back after being flooded during the recent hurricane. Jim was touched and thanked Gary and Gary replied "You and your lady will always have dinner on me. You have given me back my life and without you I would be dead broke and in debt". Jim told him that he was happy to help.

We walked outside and there was a beautiful walk way that took you around the building and it's shops that were still being fixed up. They had a balcony that overlooked the NY Skyline and the stars were out. Jim took me in his arms and kissed me with such passion as I returned it back to him. He asked me out and wanted to know if I as seeing anyone and I said "No" and he said that he would love to see me the next night if I didn't already have plans and I told him I didn't. Saturday nights were usually movie nights, nights to catch up on bill paying and laundry and just cleaning up after a busy week.

He gave me his cell and I gave him mine and I gave him the address. We both had a wonderful time as we told each other and got into our cars. I saw him put in his blue tooth and I did the same. We just pulled away and he called me to tell me that he was looking forward to seeing me and wanted to know where I wanted to go and I told him to surprise me.

I laid in bed that night and I knew I was falling for this guy. Except for kissing me, he didn't lay a finger on me, force me to sleep with him or perform any sexual pleasures for him. I really like him.

Early afternoon my doorbell rang and it was the florist with a dozen assorted colored roses with a card "I had fun - can't wait to have more later - Jim".

I called and thanked him right away and text him a picture of his surprise.

We started to date each other and would see each other 2-3 times a week. We started slow and we did make love and pleasure each other. He loves his blow jobs and I enjoy giving them. I never had anyone make love to me like him.

I didn't tell him right away so I wouldn't scare him off but I did tell him I was very attracted to him I was falling for him. He thanked me and said that he was having a great time every time we were together. We went out alone and then we started introducing our friends into the mix and having nights out with them.

Jim was very kind and extremely generous. Our first Christmas he bought me a beautiful ring, earrings, necklace and bracelet. He over did it - I bought him the football jersey he has been searching for # 56 Lawrence Taylor of the NY Giants who has been retired. I also got him and new stereo system for his truck.

We had a great relationship - did a lot of things together - gave each other space to be with our friends or just be alone. We talked every day - first thing in the am, lunch time and heading home from work.

I always tell him how much I love him and how happy he has made me. We have a great sex life but it's not the most important thing in our relationship.

I ask him if he loves me and he says he does but the words don't come out of his mouth. He told me one night that he isn't a mushy kind of guy and doesn't always say it but it doesn't mean he doesn't feel that way.

I am more open I guess and tell him how much he means to me, how good he makes me feel, and always, always say "I love you".

I asked him the other night to tell me what I mean to him and he said that he would, when the time was right and I said "I don't understand you sometimes and I can understand you not always saying "I love you" but I'm so frustrated. He took me home we kissed our usual good night and he called me when he got home - it's something I have asked him to do since day one". I laid in bed that night thinking that I ruined the best relationship and lost the best guy ever.

We have been doing all things as we were before I asked. I don't want to lose him. Why can't he tell me how he feels about me?? He treats me great, no complaints there, gives me love, respect, space, loves m family and friends and I know he loves me but why can't he tell me??

Is it me but doesn't everyone like to hear those words of how they make another feel?? How you feel when you are with someone??

Jim, please open up your heart and soul to me - I don't want to lose you and I don't want lose what we have. We can work thru this I am sure.

He hasn't changed one bit, but I am afraid one day he will tell me he no longer wants to see me - that I am too pushy or I'm just too much to handle.....

Anyone??