All Comments on 'Wife After Party'

Were there four or five people at this sexy gathering ?

Quite well written, but it is better to decide on names at the beginning rather than change them half way through.

When did Julie change her name to Denise? Did Sandy know she did this? Proofread your work, or have someone else do so before posting it. Seriously.

Even the title is awkward. The New Year's Eve party goes nowhere. Friends? Nightclub? Nothing happens except drinking and having the weather get bad (don't let Disney hear you say that, incidentally...rain is 'liquid sunshine!')

The 'seduction' is also minimalist. Sweetie2 tells everyone that Hubby2 has a much more active libido than she does, then crashes. Sweetie gets 'towel-naked' and asks Hubby2 to brush her hair. A classic case of masterful seduction?!? Half-way through the Sweetie-Hubby2 romp, Sweetie2 wakes up, changes her name and takes on both Sweetie and her own Hubby...Hubby1 is still just eyeballing. BTW - how often do dead-drunk ladies wake up super-horny less than an hour after crashing? Hang-over 6-8 hours later is more likely! Sweetie2 libido seems just fine!

Paragraph by paragraph, it is hot enough. OK if the readers have limited memory!

3*

Where the fuck did Denise come from????? Judy???Julie????? Did you even bother to read what you wrote before you pressed the upload button.

Julie became Denise...poor poor poor proofreading.

Where did julie go ?

Who to hell is Denise?

When you realize, Judy was awake you didn't duck her? You are GAY!!

Julie turns into Denise half way through. Very jarring.

Who is Denise?

So many authors do not check what they have written. It is wise to check after every written paragraph. The story?, how does a writer print 'Julie' and in the next sentence call the same woman 'Denise', it spoils what was quite a reasonable story albeit short but not very sweet. I see 'topo' has written other tales so there should be no excuse.

Julie turned into Denise???

too tired to write a 1.3 k story, mixing up Julie and Denise

Cuck shares his whore.

It's a very short story - It could have been a good story. What ruined it was the author changing Julie to Denise half-way through. I suggest you re-write it once you decide who the participants are.