All Comments on 'Without You I Have Nothing Ch. 03'

WOW!! What a guy Peter is. He can cook my breakfast any day. Why are these type of guys only found in books?

but you could really use an editor. some of the sentences are awkwardly written, and the story is generally..... well.... can't quite categorize but the story is a tad odd.

Wow, this chapter is awesome! It's so refreshing to read different and "odd" stories and characters, they're so intense. The "Girl&boy in love at first sight" is soooo boring.... I also love your writing style, you don't need any editor. Eagerly awaiting more, and please! do not change!

For the most part, this is well written, but the plot seems silly. It makes no sense that she thinks he is gay.

Please hurry with the next chapters! I can't wait to read more. This site is difficult for me - I usually devour novels in one sitting, and now I am having to wait.

I feel like some of the "conflict" is contrived. For example, they go out for Chinese food the night before. Peter knows it is Chinese New Year, and passes out the pink envelopes with new money in them. Yet it doesn't cross his mind to explain why he is doing so? That doesn't make any sense. <br><br>

Then the next morning, after Peter has been a perfect gentleman, Jennifer freaks out when he turns up at 7:00 a.m. with a bunch of yellow roses. Then throws the envelope of money at him and accuses him of trying to buy her? Over-reaction much? Rudeness much? Yes on both counts. You are making it hard for me to see why Peter should be attracted to this woman at all. <br><br>

In the chapter before this one, Jennifer asks him, almost in an accusing tone, to explain his ability to speak fluent Chinese. I found this extremely odd. Since when does someone need to explain how they know another language? It's really simple --- you apply yourself to the study of another language, and thus you learn it. How else does Jennifer think one might know how to speak more than one language. Surely in this world of global travel we live in, it's not so unusual that people, especially those in business, might know a second or third language. Does she think there is something sinister about speaking fluent Chinese (or Mandarin or what have you)? If someone demand that I explain my knowledge of Spanish, I'd think that person was annoying and a bit of an idiot.<br><br>

I can see the makings of a romance here, but so much about the story is odd. Jennifer seems brittle, suspicious, and quick to find fault. Peter seems somewhat clueless, and while overall a nice guy, could do with brushing up on his social skills (i.e., you don't show up at a girl's house at 7:00 in the a.m. unless you have been invited to do so).

i really like your writing and since i myself have lived in china for a year i find peter's connection with the chinese culture very interesting. unfortunately i find the main characters somewhat silly. Even if we assume that they are shy and awkward, their behaviour seem unreasonable. normally you explain what you do if other people might not understand (peter) and you don't just start screaming at or insulting people you've just met (jennifer). anyway, the plot is a bit too unreal for me.

i have to say again, though, i like your style with details and descriptions.

JA you have shown your Aussie background and your knowledge of Chinese New Year. Because you are so at home - steeped in the foreign culture - you did not explain to your readers and Peter did not explain to his fellow diners.

How naughty of you!

And to call on an Aussie girl at 7am what was Peter thinking of - except to be helpful. How disgusting! I am still laughing as ge intended to see her without any prior preparation - make-up etc. He sure is no fool but a true Australian!

Oh dear JA you are stirring up the natives. Please don't give any of our secrets away. We are comfortable being down-under and don't want to share with the rest of the world.

Goodness your readers are impatient and want the total plot in two chapters.

My money is still on Peter but Jennifer is sure fiery - no ice maiden at all! You are concealing facts from us - the readers.

Come on spead up the delivery of chapters and I applaud that you are still using Aussie expressions and construction.

This is an old story now, with zero chance of the author reading this, however, your portrayal of Peter is at best manic, possibly even bi-polar, with the severe ups and downs. I don’t empathise with either his or Jennifer’s attitudes or pov, he is all over the place emotionally, whilst she is withdrawn and it appears socially dysfunctional. Tbh I haven’t liked a single character you’ve written up to now, although the plot has bags of potential. I’ll read a bit and see if it picks up.