All Comments on 'World of Ranicke 01'

was going good til the end the it just stopped.

Very enjoyable read. Slowed down a bit at the end but knowing Max will pick up again in the following chapters. I do like the portal theme though, so keep writing :)

I had planned on having the next chapter out already, or submitted but some medical and personal issues came up. I am working on it right now and am hoping to have it ready to be submitted by Monday. Thanks for being patient.

Well done so far. A really good read and looking forward to the rest of it!

I was surprised how quickly you got the two characters engaged in sex... but it was very well done. I can't wait to see what happens next.

You write like you're in a one-person roleplay, and it's incredibly annoying because you're not.

I really enjoy this story so far. I think that this will be an interesting read. Great Job!!!

I don't understand the need to show what one character does in one go and then show the complete reaction of the other character in another chunk. Is this an actual writing style? Things get confusing and the pacing gets completely destroyed. I had to read back and forth several times to know what exactly was going on.

The dialogue is good, but it has vast space for improvement and some parts which I consider attempts to sound cool just made it sound cheesy as hell. Sometimes simple is best.

This was nearly impossible to read because of the bucketloads of simple grammatical errors and endless run on sentences. I could not get past the first five paragraphs.

I'm not writing this to try and tear you down. I value anyone's attempts to create and mould their ideas but you have to respect the medium you're using to share them--and your audience.

Consider this analogy:

You go to someone's home for dinner. It would be unreasonable to expect the caliber of meal that you might get from a fine restaurant, as most people do not cook professionally. It is NOT unreasonable, however, to expect your host to at least respect their guests by first washing their hands and using clean dishes.

When you invite us in and your offerings are filthy like this, it ruins the appetite.

This makes no since at all i cant even keep focused on it its like im reading something a child wrote.

Hard to read but it is a interesting story.