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"Okay you two though I have a feeling that you really want to get to the tables and some food." It was close to noon as best he could tell and grinned when they gave him a sort of toothy grin. "That is what I thought. Lead on you two." He followed them to the food tables and grinned as they grabbed some small plates and grabbed what they liked. Keeping in mind what Sorrel had said about his needing lots of protein he made sure he had plenty of meat as well as fruits and veggies before they led him to her tent.
After carefully sitting down he started eating and was for the most part enjoying the food. Some of it was sort of odd but mostly edible. The fruits and veggies were pretty good though he did find one fruit that almost made him gag. "Ugh, not getting that again." He moved it off to one side and frowned when the two boys snickered at him. "Next time maybe tell me or I might have to growl at you."
Both boys snickered at him when he grumbled at them. They thought it was pretty funny that he almost choked on the fruit. Only a few liked it even though it was full of good for you things. They kept eating and about the time they were done a woman walked up and frowned at them.
"So here you are you stinkers. You should have come back to the tent and let me know." She could have been their mother from looking at her. She had a similar coloration and ears as the boys but something told him she wasn't their mother. She was dressed in clothing similar to everyone else only in her case it was dark browns and tan's that blended with her coloring quite well. She had short fur on her face and the parts he could see of her.
"Sorry ma'am but I asked them were the food was and where Sorrel's tent was. I was getting tired and they showed me." His arm was back in the sling as best possible though he was using it to eat with. He looked at her and she wasn't to bad looking though she had some canine features in her face including a short muzzle and the black fur on most of her face though there were tan highlights down the front of her neck and on her arms.
She nodded to him but frowned at the pups. "They know better and they know they need to check in with me through the day. I would hate to tell their mother than I didn't know where they were." She glowered at them and they lowered their ears to show they were sorry. "So you are the new human huh? Welcome to the tribe. If you would like feel free to come over to my tent and enjoy a meal. I tend to do some of the cooking myself since I tend to keep an eye on a number of pups of all ages." She smiled at him and then looked at the two boys. "Come on you two. Your mother is looking for you since you have a few chores to do at home."
Jim nodded at her. "I am the new human and thank you for the offer. I might take you up on that in a few days when I am feeling better." After they left he placed his plate on the small table and stripped down to the loin cloth and rolled into the bed and shortly was asleep. How long he slept he wasn't sure but when he woke he found Sorrel sitting at the table and it looked like she was cleaning some nuts out.
- COMMENTS
Anonymousover 6 years agoThis makes no since at all i cant even keep focused on it its like im reading something a child wrote.
Anonymousover 8 years agoThis was nearly impossible to read because of the bucketloads of simple grammatical errors and endless run on sentences. I could not get past the first five paragraphs.
I'm not writing this to try and tear you down. I value anyone's attempts to create and mould their ideas but you have to respect the medium you're using to share them--and your audience.
Consider this analogy:
You go to someone's home for dinner. It would be unreasonable to expect the caliber of meal that you might get from a fine restaurant, as most people do not cook professionally. It is NOT unreasonable, however, to expect your host to at least respect their guests by first washing their hands and using clean dishes.
When you invite us in and your offerings are filthy like this, it ruins the appetite.
PyroDragonover 8 years agoI don't understand the need to show what one character does in one go and then show the complete reaction of the other character in another chunk. Is this an actual writing style? Things get confusing and the pacing gets completely destroyed. I had to read back and forth several times to know what exactly was going on.
The dialogue is good, but it has vast space for improvement and some parts which I consider attempts to sound cool just made it sound cheesy as hell. Sometimes simple is best.
Anonymousalmost 9 years agoI really enjoy this story so far. I think that this will be an interesting read. Great Job!!!
