All Comments on 'Would She Dare?'

Great lead in, great seduction. I could have had more actual sex, but maybe this just leaves open possibility for more chapters, esp. the couple reflecting and reacting to the experience.

Nice work for one of your first stories.

Sequel!

has a shit hole fetish

Excellent story. Believable characters. Nice pacing and hot sex. What more can you ask for?

This would have scored higher if it weren't for the typo's. It was an exciting story to read, but it was let down by about half a dozen typing errors (testibles?)which just detract from the overall enjoyment of the story being told. You have a good writing style that flows well, but please proof read any future writings before submission, or even better get someone else to do it for you as it is too easy to miss things in your own work.

Margaret, Steve, and Jennifer arrange to have a little intimate threesome. For both Margaret and Jennifer this is their first time. Hot Read! Well written!

I agree with another reader's post that this is a wonderfully erotic story. It's a shame that I was distracted while reading it by a few typo's. Your style is flowing and the story line believable. I'm going to send this link to my girlfriend (who has a curiosity about an FFM) to test her comfort level.

Please write more for us, but run it through a spell/grammar checker before posting. OK?

ER ...

Thanks for all of your comments (while I do not have an anything hole fetish, I can't deny the occasional indulgence in the throws of passion...), and I really apologize about the typos. I did proofread, and specifically remember catching and correcting the "testibles" typo. I must have gotten careless and either forgotten to save or pasted the wrong version into the submission form... I'm working on getting the corrections up, because I 100% agree that typos interrupt the mood.

Love and kisses,

Melody =)

This is my fantasy exactly! Please give me more! It was great! I agree with the "typos" gripe, but voted 100 because I think it will deserve it once you get the corrected version up.

From your bio, you seek to entice bi/lesbianism to those who might yet you and your live-in girlfriend like to pick up guys for mutual satisfaction. Hey you are single and won't ruin any one's life but your own in your quest for the ultimate abnormal.

Unfortunately, here you felt the need to step outside that to heighten your senses into a marital scene with a brain dead husband, who won't wake up until tomorrow to a new non-marriage commitment from his now no longer committed spouse.

In doing so within marital, you endanger your work's acceptance by those who value any commitment between any two people(same or other sex). Once broken by either there is no further link of value so what follows is selfish and destined to eventually rot what there once was.

So you are either selling your single lesbian way of life occasionally spiced by a shared male in a confused intended way for it all, or you don't understand that your work is not going to be judged for it's merit when it's burdened by baggage that it doesn't need.

A long way of saying, that you don't help the acceptance of your time and efforts by adding marital to the mix.

This is Captain Midnight, posting as anonymous because I can't remember my login password. I'm responding to the next anonymous poster below.

You make some valid points, but you do them in a horrible way. Your tone is almost troll-like in its nature. I only know betweenherlegs a little, casual chat so far. You act like you see right through her. If you do, it's a lucky shot and you get no points for perceptiveness. What I see of her is a very friendly, outgoing lady who likes to talk to and befriend people, and who likes to have fun. I know very well that sex goes way beyond "fun," and there are emotional attachments that can develop in a big hurry -- even during the act itself. I haven't observed it, but I'm sure people can feel left out of intimacy during a threesome or moresome that they themselves initiated. The solution is either to stop having them, or for each member of the group to care deeply about all the others and bond with them. I happen to think the latter, though difficult, is very possible. If two people work equally to make the third one feel good, and the pattern continues until all three feel equally cared for, I think some people are open-minded enough to accept everybody as intimates. I think my new friend is one of them.

This is a great fantasy! Well written and extremly arousing! I really enjoyed it!

Great job!

This is a great fantasy! Well written and extremly arousing! I really enjoyed it!

Great job!

I would have rated this story 100, but the over 100 spelling errors vastly detracted from a potentially great story.

This is a realy hot story!!! I enjoyed it very much. I could identify with the characters!! You did this story very well!!! Keep them coming honey, You are a great erotica writer!!!

This story was awesome. Fuck the "I wonder why" guy and his moralizing bullshit! You write deftly.

I definitely think there should be a sequel to this story. Fantastic writing. I too cannot remember my password, but I am SuperCraig, lol...Great job, keep em comin

Thanks for all of your comments (while I do not have an anything hole fetish, I can't deny the occasional indulgence in the throws* of passion...), and I really apologize about the typos. I did proofread, and specifically remember catching and correcting the "testibles" typo. I must have gotten careless and either forgotten to save or pasted the wrong version into the submission form... I'm working on getting the corrections up, because I 100% agree that typos interrupt the mood.

Alice in Sacramento

i have never eaten a chick out of anything but i totally have been talkin to my bf lately about havin a ffm threesome and damn this story makes it sound even better than i imagined... man that was hot...

<br>

...but you seriously need to work on your spelling. It's very off-putting to keep running into tragically simple spelling errors in a good story - destroys the moment, one might say.

<br><br>

Perhaps try working with one of the volunteer Literotica editors...?

<br>

I won't belabor the spelling issue. I've learned the same the hard way. I thought the story was nice, moved the main character well through her opening.

Ignore those that can't deal with fantasy - they usually can't deal with reality either.

Aaak. Learn to spell.

That was one of the best erotic stories I have read yet. Too often an author has their characters jump right into something they would not normally do. You however, spent enough time on the build up that it was entirely believable. Keep writing and I will keep reading. Thanks

Title says it all. Take the advice, and try it again. The story wasn't horrible. You had a decent premise, but the misspelled words were a distraction. "Honets" instead of "honest. "Chicket" instead of "chicken". Just run a spell check before posting.

You must be the only person whose computer doesn't have spell-checking. Ruined what could have been a good story.

blond - blonde

chicket - chicken

concious - conscious

dampended - dampened

desparately - desperately

eacherother's - each other's

enterance - entrance

exprienced - experienced

freshment - freshen

honets - honest

if if - if

increasinly - increasingly

juicses - juices

laying down - lying down

lookng - looking

Maraget - Margaret

muching - munching

nashed - gnashed

site - sight

smileto - smile to

soking - ?

testible - testicle

theyre-appeared - they re-appeared

thoughfully - thoughtfully

threew - threw

to hold o the - ?

toether - together

unrap - unwrap

volumptuous - voluptuous

wedding room - wedding ring

windhsield - windshield

really, without permission and without the decency of at least using some lube, he just shoves into his wife's virginal ass like it's nothing at all. why do so many guys write this kind of shit! Otherwise, until that moment, a good fantasy read. especially watching how the wife kept pushing her own boundaries. Get rid of the idiot husband.

This was really good besides the typos and some logical errors. I felt the ending was a little rushed too. So, the issues I find logically is "fingered her clit" because a clitoris cannot be fingered as it does not have a hole. But, rubbed could make more sense. When Steve decided to push into his wife's virgin ass without lube, that is really what didn't make sense. Without lube it would hurt and cause anal tears or fissures. Slowly with lube would definitely help.

I really loved the concept with this story. I want to have a threesome but I'm nervous to bring it up to my boyfriend. Keep writing, and try "paper rater", or any online paper checker. Just copy and paste it into the site. It'll help with passive voice, vocabulary, spelling errors, ect.

Too many spelling errors and other mysteries, such as "wedding room" on her hand.

Had to stop reading. You should fix (there's a way to edit existing stories) and re-publish.