All Comments on 'You Can’t Stop Me Ch. 06'

The story is a bit disjointed because you do not use some separating devices like a row of asterisks to delineate a change in scene, time, or location. Other than that, it is interesting and Carmen appears to be just a bit strange, but we still don't know why she fixated on Steve. It may just be because he was in the bedroom that had the closed she was hiding in after the murders and it is all a coincidence?

I was torn between leaving some things off-screen (Carmen trying to threaten Steve into leaving the house in Chapter 5) and having things hinted at by actions (Steve taunting Carmen when she comes back). I'll work in the time breaks, I need to find a symbol that works for me (multiple * make lines for me). Chapter 7 has been submitted already and should fill in more details. Thank you for your attention to a story I've had fun writing.

old tragedies strike closer to all, TK U MLJ LV NV

There are rumbling sounds coming from the dark clouds on the horizon. Will anyone survive this story?

The most unrealistic story ive read so far.

Like, SERIOUSLY, unless he is personally insane and/or incredible stupid (and he shouldn't be this stupid considering he's studying nano-technology), he should see ALL THE WARNING SIGNS.

He doesn't have the "thinking with his dick" excuse because he has several people who are willing to let him slip his dick into them.

Aka flawed character progression making it a crappy story. Good plot but terrible main character that makes this story too flawed to give any real consideration to giving it a good rating.

I wanted to do something different and explore a different kind of love ... blinding and destructive yet love none the less. The protagonist is not a 'hero'. He doesn't make the 'right' choice. They are both trapped in their love affair. That was what I was trying to reveal.

Doesn't know what to say?!

How about "Carmen, enough is enough, out with it or we are through. Your choice."

His friggin best (dickhead) friend fell down a building, but he honors the game they're playing? Yeah right.