You'll Always Have Paris

They say that bad news travels fast. That's actually an understatement. When I got to New York, I called Bert's phone and it kept going to voicemail. Bert always had his phone on. That was the way we communicated. If I was in the house and he was in the fields I simply picked up the phone. In desperation I called Miranda, the call did not go the way I was expecting. Before I could even say hello Miranda interrupted me.

"What the hell where you thinking?" she asked. "I just don't understand why. You've never seemed to be anything like that. Just how did you go from the nice, quiet, kind Tina Ramsey Johnson I grew up with, my best friend I might add, to this?"

"Miranda what are you talking about?" I asked.

"Tina your picture was on the news. You got arrested for being a prostitute in Paris. They sent you home. Then it came out that you actually weren't a prostitute you were making a porno film. The news showed your picture and within hours you were all over the internet. There must be 6 or 7 different movies with lots of different guys. there's even one of you in a gang bang with I don't know how many men shooting their goo all over you. Bert is devastated, there were reporters all over the farm looking for interviews with the husband of the French whore. A couple of people even wanted to interview me since I'm your friend."

"Miranda, I'm stuck in New York right now, I need you to get Bert to wire me some money to fly home." I told her.

"Tina why did you do this? Why do it to Bert? You should have divorced him if you wanted to change your life. Why make him suffer for something you wanted to do? That man loved you like you were the most special thing in the world. He even gave you the money to go to Paris, and look how you repaid him. You made him the laughing stock of the whole county. He was in town buying fertilizer when the news came on and there were lots of guys running up to him, and asking him all sorts of silly questions, like if you made him pay to fuck you, or if you made him wait in line. He got into several fights and the Sheriff even suggested that he should probably stay out of town until this blows over. I don't think he wants to see you or talk to you, let alone send you any money, but I'll ask him. Are you calling from a pay phone?"

I gave her the number at the payphone, and hung up and waited. It seemed like I was waiting for hours until she called me back. She was sounding really sad as she said, "Tina I spoke to Bert, he doesn't want to have anything to do with you. He's driving up to the state capital to see a lawyer about divorcing you first thing tomorrow morning. He won't send you any money, and he says you don't have a home to come back to. I tried to tell him that there has to be more to this than what we know so far. Isn't there?"

"Miranda, could you loan me the money for a plane ticket, and let me stay with you for a few days?"

Miranda proved to be a great friend, she sent me a ticket and even met me at the airport. She snuck me into her small house in town. I took a shower and was surprised to find that Miranda had a lot of my clothes. "I went over to talk to Bert and he was packing up all of your things to set them out by the road so I loaded up everything I could," she said.

"Thanks Miranda," I said gratefully. "What's our next move?"

"What do you mean," she asked.

"Well, I need to find a way to explain all of this to Bert," I said. "The only thing that matters to me is that he knows that it isn't true."

"I'm not sure if that's a good idea Tina," she said. "Bert is hurt and angry, and feeling betrayed right now. He loves you a lot, and this just tore his heart out. Men have a lot of pride and you pretty much turned him from respected Farmer into the town joke. He called over there and spoke to the French Police and even spoke to Kathy before she flew home, to make sure there was no mistake."

"When I went over to your house yesterday, I caught him crying over you. I think you're going to have to give him some time and let this die down."

"But Miranda, he's my husband, he has to listen to me. He's all I've got, and all I want. I love him," I said.

"Really Tina?" she asked me. I noticed that she was looking at me in a funny way. "Tina, were you drugged? Did they have a gun on you?"

"Well, no," I said quietly. "But they tricked me, and then they..."

"They tricked you into fucking a room full of strange men?" she asked.

"Well Pepe, tricked me, he seduced me because he was so romantic and charming, and he started out just doing little things that weren't really that bad. And I let him because it was Paris and he was French. And then the next thing I knew he was fucking me, and I knew I should say no but he told me that Paris was a secret city so no one would know." Before I could finish Miranda stopped me.

"So you, a married woman just let some French guy charm her out of her panties?" she asked.

I nodded my head and then said, "Then the next day he showed me pictures of us fucking and told me if I didn't do the film that he'd release the video worldwide, so I had to do it."

"Tina, Bert loves you. I think he might've believed that one slick guy tricked you or even drugged you, but you did 6 or 7 guys at once and let them shoot all over you. I've never met a man that would forgive that. You should have come clean after the first guy and came home. Better still a married woman shouldn't have been hanging out with some slick French guy in the first place. But the problem is that you've lived most of your life in the clouds. Do you even realize how lucky you are, or were? Do you know how many single women there are in this town who would kill to have what you have with Bert? When this blows over, if you don't get him back there'll be a line stretching from the farm to town full of women trying to replace you Tina. You said he was all you've got. I'm not sure you have him anymore. You said he was all you want. If that's true you have a funny way of showing it. And if you love him, letting a whole bunch of other guys fuck you is not a good way to make him love you back. You've always thought that you were a little bit too special for the room Tina and I hope it works out for you, but I think it's caught up to you. As your friend I'll try to help you as much as I can, you can stay here for as long as you need, but I'm thinking maybe you should move somewhere else."

Over the next few weeks I tried everything I could. I showed up at the house. Bert wouldn't open the door for me. He didn't even have to change the locks since I had lost my keys. I showed up in the fields. He didn't even stop his tractor. I called him every day just begging for him to talk to me. Then finally I got a break. His lawyer called me to have a meeting to discuss the terms of the divorce. Bert was offering to make the divorce painless for both of us irreconcilable differences and a 50/50 split of all of the cash we had in the bank. Bert got to keep the farm since it had been in his family before we ever met. The thing that got me was the chance to speak to him face to face. So I went. His lawyer went over the papers with me, I agreed to everything and signed them. Then the lawyer left. Bert came in and sat down across from me. I jumped up as soon as I saw him but he held up a hand stopping me before I got anywhere near him.

"Say what you have to say Tina," he said. I heard his voice crack as I said it.

"I love you Bert, I've never loved anyone but you, I'd do anything I could to make this all go away and have us back the way we were before this happened." I told him everything that had happened and how it occurred. I told him about how empty I'd been feeling and how I had just gone to Paris looking for something exciting and fulfilling in my life. I sought romance and old world culture. I told him how I missed our life together and especially how I missed him. I poured my soul out to him and told him that he was all I wanted and all I needed. And how I wanted him to forgive me and take me back, so I could make this all up to him. I'd spend the rest of my life making him the happiest man on earth and without him I was nothing and I had nothing.

"Tina, you were always searching for something more than I could give you. I'm just a run of the mill farmer. I'm just as common as grass. I loved you with all of my heart and soul and I worked my ass off to make a life for us, but I guess it just wasn't the fantasy you need. I listened to all of the things you said, and I guess I can understand it from your point of view. It's like that old saying "how are you going to keep them down on the farm once they've seen Paris," So maybe you went looking for your dream and found a nightmare instead. That doesn't mean that you should give up on that dream. I think maybe you should go back to France, and just be a little bit more careful," he said.

And I started to believe that he understood a little bit of what I was feeling.

"You should still go after your dream Tina, if you try hard enough you can be Audrey Hepburn, but I don't fit into your dream, so I have to go after my own." he said.

"But Bert you are my dream I just didn't realize it. You're the only thing I want. If you go through with this divorce, those bastards in France will have taken everything I have away from me, and everything that I need, because all of that is you." I cried.

Bert stood up and turned to me. "Maybe they did take a little bit from you," he said."Sometimes that's the price of going after your dream. But they didn't take everything Tina. There's one thing that you wanted that will always be there and no one can take from you."

"Bert are you talking about your love for me?" I asked.

"Hell no, Tina," he replied coldly. "That was the first thing you lost, but you'll always have Paris."

Miranda was eerily true in her prediction. Within weeks of the divorce everyone in town had heard about him divorcing me and refusing to have anything to do with me. I couldn't believe that as much as he loved me that he'd just dump me without a second thought. I still loved him so much it hurt me to think about it. The women in town started making fools about themselves, all chasing after my man whom I was determined to win back at any cost. At first Miranda was very supportive keeping me informed of who was making a play for him or showing up at the farm. Then I began to notice that Miranda simply stopped giving me information and wouldn't mention what was going on with Bert. I soon found out the reason. I thought that maybe she knew that chasing Bert was pointless and didn't want me to get my hopes up, but I was wrong. Miranda started staying out all night, and coming home the next morning extremely fucking happy. Whenever I asked her about Bert, she was evasive and told me she'd go by and check on him in the next few days.

After a while I just came right out and told her, "Miranda, I need you to go and check on my husband for me. If you're my friend you'll do this for me."

"Tina, you need to move on with your life. I know you loved the man, but you messed up. Better luck next time. I've been trying to avoid telling you this, but Bert has moved on. It's been six months since your divorce was final, and a year since you went to Paris. At first there were a lot of women chasing Bert. Then there were only a few. But I think he's finally found someone that he wants to be with."

"What!" I screamed. "Tina why didn't you tell me."

"Because I didn't want to see you hurt," she said. "I have to get ready for work, we'll talk about it some more tomorrow."

I sat down at the kitchen table and just cried my eyes out. I knew things with us were not good, but I still thought I was just giving Bert time to get over what happened in Paris. I still went out and watched him work in the fields sometimes. And I did see women go over from time to time to drop off a cake or a pie. And I had noticed that lately there were very few of them dropping by. I had hoped that Bert was ready to forgive me or maybe even to just talk. Miranda had to be mistaken. I got dressed and went over to the farm. I sat in my car and watched from the road as Bert drove the tractor all over checking all sorts of things that I suddenly realized I knew nothing about. I had lived on that farm with the man for over half of my life and I didn't know a thing about it.

Suddenly, I had an idea. I'd go to Miranda's job and see if she'd take one of my pies over to Bert for me tomorrow. If she agreed, I'd dash home and bake it so it would be fresh in the morning. The store that Miranda worked at was already closed, but her car was still in the parking lot. Miranda came out of the store and got into her car. I wondered where she was going. Miranda never talked about men or getting married. I knew that a lot of it stemmed from when she was in college. Most of the men she ran into only wanted to fuck her and duck her. Of course that was before she got those big store-bought titties. She kept saying that she just hadn't met the right man. Miranda turned down a familiar road and I thought that maybe she was just heading home, but then she turned. Miranda was heading home alright, but she was going to my home.

I watched as she drove right up to my house. She didn't bother knocking on the door, the bitch had a key. I sat in the car fuming. A few minutes later. Bert drove the tractor into the barn and headed for the house. Miranda came out of the house in a short yellow dress that was cut so low in the front that I could see her fake breasts from the road. She was holding a plate of food. Bert stepped up to her and put the plate down on the banister around the porch. Then he kissed Miranda and wrapped his arms around her.

They settled down into the porch swing and kept kissing each other. Then Miranda reached out and got the plate of food. She fed my husband whatever that shit was that she had cooked, and he ate it all. In between bites she'd kiss him. It was like a scene from one of those fucking movies I had wasted my life watching. Then as it started to get dark, they went into the house and closed the door. I drove back to Miranda's house and cried my eyes out again.

I couldn't believe Miranda would do that to me. I sat up all night thinking about it. For most of my life I had dreamed of a fantasy from a bunch of 50 year old movies, when a far better one was right in front of me, but I'd been too stupid to see it. The man of my dreams had always been right beside me in bed. I just hadn't done my part to make the fantasy real.

Then I had another truly evil thought. Miranda with her tall thin body and dark hair, the bitch looked like Audrey Hepburn, except for those big fake tits. Suddenly I hated Miranda and Audrey Hepburn. Then I heard the door open and Miranda stepped in smiling and positively glowing. I threw the coffee cup I was drinking from at her with all of my might. Luckily I missed but the cup shattered against the wall and threw coffee and shards all over the kitchen.

Miranda took one look at my face and she knew that I knew.

"Tina I've been trying to find a way to tell you," she said sadly. "But in a way it's good that you found out, because there are going to be some changes around here anyway."

"So now that you've got my husband, you're kicking me out of your house, huh, bitch?" I screamed at her.

"Tina, calm down so we can talk about this," she said. "I know that this is a really messed up situation, but you're my best friend and we've known each other all of our lives. We need to talk about this so we can get past it."

We both sat down at the table across from each other. "Can you at least wipe that fucking grin off your face, you home wrecking bitch." I snapped at her. "How did this happen anyway? When did you steal my husband from me?"

"Tina, I've always, always told you how lucky you were to have Bert. He's kind and generous and caring. I used to tell you that every day. But you were always living in your God damned movies dreaming about Cary Grant and trying to be some over-weight version of Audrey Hepburn. At least you should have tried for Marilyn Monroe. Anyway you went to Paris and did what you did, and you broke Bert's heart. He was shattered when he found out. After the divorce there were lots of women chasing after him, but the only person he'd even talk to was your daughter. I told her I'd look after him until he got back on his feet. The same thing I told you. I did everything I could to chase those bitches away from him and some of them are far bigger whores than you'd believe. Samantha Henderson for example. I caught that bitch sun bathing naked down by your creek, just waiting for Bert to drive by. The exact place he likes to take his breaks and eat lunch.

I had to take a stick to her to get rid of her. It seemed like every unmarried woman in the county except one, was taking a run at Bert. The only one who wasn't, was me. But I was the one visiting him and making sure he ate, and had clean clothes, and I often straightened up the house a bit. When you left the place just went to hell. At first we just became friends, I mean we've known each other since you two got married so, it's been over 20 years. But we started to get closer. And then there were little touches and hugs and the next thing you know we were uhm, consoling each other. In my mind I was helping him to get over you. I was helping to heal his broken heart. And he was helping me come to terms with the fact that I'm a 40 year old never been married spinster. And after a while we weren't consoling any more we were just fucking. I know I should have told you about it but I just didn't want to hurt you. Miranda, he's never going to take you back, so if someone around here is going to have him, it may as well be me," she said.

"We hadn't planned on getting married. And what we have isn't like what you and he had. In fact until yesterday he never told me he loved me. We were just fuck buddies. And I guess I thought it would get boring and I'd want someone else like all of the guys I'd meet at the bars. But then I noticed that this was different. I kept doing little things to keep him interested, and I started dressing up differently for him. Some nights he just pounds the shit out of me, and others we make slow and passionate love. You used to talk about how he always did it the same way like it was on a schedule. So I just do everything I can to vary that schedule. But really Miranda that's another place that you were kind of stupid. You know all of those magazines you read where the woman had an affair because her husband wasn't screwing her often enough? Well Did you ever notice how Bert keeps up that schedule that you were complaining about. He fucks me every night and that's the only schedule I care about. Every night, Do you even know how lucky you were?" again I noticed that the bitch was positively glowing.

"Miranda, I thought of you like a sister," I said. "I can't believe you're doing this. If you're really my friend you'll break this off with him and help me get him back. This could be my chance. It'll make us even. I got taken advantage of in Paris. He fucked my best friend. Maybe we can talk now and get back together."

"Well things are a little too complicated for that," she smiled. "If you think of me as a sister, I'm glad because in that case, you're going to be an aunt." Before the words even sunk in she just kept talking. "I'm quitting my job and moving in with Bert. You can live here for as long as you want or even buy the place from me. I'm going to need a lot of help from you Tina, because I've never been pregnant before. My doctor says because of my age and because I'm so thin I'm going to have to take it really easy."

All I could do is listen to my ex best friend talk about how happy she was to be carrying my husband's baby, and how much she loved him even if he didn't feel the same. And how fucking happy they were going to be yada yada yada.