Young Woman with Older Man Ch. 16

We said our good-byes complete with hugs, kisses, and promises to stay in touch. Yet, I knew once she left that I would never see Gwen, again. She was a honey of a girl. Whichever lucky guy gets her, certainly, will have his hands full, but boy what a ride. I envy him. If only I was younger, I would never let her leave. A woman that beautiful and that sexually uninhibited is a rare being and a rare find.

Still, just as it was all a fluke how Lynn had come in and gone out of my life, it was a fluke that I had hot sex with two 25-year-olds, Lynn and Jamie, and deliriously outrageous sex with Lynn's 23-year-old baby sister, Gwen. Unfortunately, my only real memories left me now of Lynn are the images of her that haunt me and, of course, Seymour, her giant Rhodesian Ridgeback of a dog. When I'm alone and lonely, she comes to me in my thoughts and I think of her. Unfortunately, thinking of her makes me sad and makes me feel even more alone and even more lonely. It's a vicious cycle of self-pity, self-indulgence, and depression. Probably, I should join a support group or seek therapy to help me through the loss of her. Probably, I won't, preferring to suffer through it alone and using the loss of her as an excuse to return to drinking.

Especially now after meeting Gwen, she filled my mind with the memory of her sister. But for her dyed blonde hair, it was startling how much she looked like Lynn. The contrast of Lynn's light colored eyes was shocking against her dark, lush hair. Gwen's dyed blonde hair somehow removed the contrast that he eyes made.

Just when I was beginning to feel a bit better, Gwen arrived to bask me in the shadow of her dead sister. And now she is gone and now I am back to missing my Lynn. I'm glad that I still have Jamie here to help me through another day, even if it is only temporary. One day at a time is good advice and what I need to do to get me through the horror of losing Lynn, the love of my life. Nonetheless, it felt good to finally be home alone with Jamie. I felt more connected to Jamie than I did Gwen. Although, I knew that I'd never feel the connection with Jamie that I had with Lynn, I still enjoyed Jamie's company and liked having her around.

She was fun and she gave life to the house. Unfortunately, nonetheless, it still felt like sex with Jamie and not love. Although there was a huge sexual attraction between us, that is where it began and ended. I was glad for her visit because I knew that once she left, again, that she'd be out of my system and I'd have no more second doubts wondering if she and I could have made a go at it. I know now that it was not to be and that she was just a good friend with benefits.

For the next few days, I had trouble concentrating on anything but that surprise telephone call and about the upcoming weekend. Lynn's mother, Marianne, was coming for a visit to meet me. I must have made quite the impression with her family for first Lynn's sister, Gwen, to drive all that way from Rochester, New York east to where I lived in Massachusetts and now for her mother to want to meet me, too. It was a long drive.

To be continued...