All Comments on 'Your Night Out'

Let's have more.

Love it. Write more

Reminds me of a time when I went out with my best friend. She was divorced and wanted to have a good time. Ended up meeting some younger guys. We ended up at one of the guys apartment. My friend went into one of the bedrooms leaving me with with the other. I told him I was married but he was so hot and persistent. We started kissing and soon felt his hand slid under my skirt. With the sounds of my friend getting fucked in the other room I was too turned on to stop him. Soon his hard cock was out and I felt my panties being removed. He stripped off the rest of my clothes and spread my legs apart. He rammed his cock in me and we began passionately kissing. He pounded me for what seemed like an hour when he grabbed my ass and shot his sperm deep in me. OMG what have I done! I looked up and saw my friend and new lover standing watching. She just had a smile on her face. As we left she said "I promise I wont tell your husband"

Telling We-The-Readers we are doing something we are NOT, in fact, doing is wrong on three counts. But this type of writing is called Second Person Point of View, where the author is First Person PoV and writing as a outside narrator is Third Person POV. First was it is wrong is that I (as a reader) am NOT doing it, I am reading it, and I know the difference! Second wrongness is to tell the story in the present tense ... right now! And I know, for damn sure, it isn’t happening to me right now! The third wrongness is that you (as author) could not possibly know about any of the things I am ostensibly doing! Not even one (unless I have my phone on FaceTime) and certainly not ALL of what I’m doing.

The author could make this tale twice as good by presenting the whole thing from Sweetie’s PoV, telling Hubby about her exciting night. Probably even better than by going to an omnicient narrator.

Last Grinch ... Sweetie is depicted as having drunk enough to have either gone to sleep upon getting in her car after leaving the club, or perhaps just T-Boned another car on the way to the Bull’s house.

Whores.

Another stupid story