by NTMaster
it was great stuff. it was getting hot the story ended. please do continew
WOW! Talk about tapping into one of my greatest fantasies. PLease... DON'T stop now! Great beginning!
Interesting story which had so much potential and was spoled by a lurch into the ultimate fantasy league!! The story became so unbelievable that i could only manage to skim the last few paragraphs. If there is to be a Chapter 2 can we have a fantasy which keeps at least one foot in the believable?
Summary - good writing, great idea, crappy execution.
I really enjoyed your story, but where's Chapter 2? Please keep writing!