All Comments on 'Alan Ch. 04'

.... to have Alan bang Pauline in a three-way with both little yum-yums.

Keep 'em cumming!

...but damn, the least he could've done was make it painless.

I hope Alan cools it with Kate it's fun breaking them, but after they break if you still acting douchie that is just mean. At least that's how I feel...

I think treating Kate like the pet she needs to be treated is 10 boners worthy, and keeping Megan for "lovin" is perfect! Love how the story is fitting together and not just a hit and run with too many "fantasy porno" comments. Nice work.

Cruizer.

I am perplexed at how and why Alan continues to be so controlling, and really abusive with Kate, who he has already "gotten even with", while continuing to be kind and attentive with his "sort of girlfriend" Pauline. And besides, having his gorgeous Teacher putting out for him whenever he wants it, what is he doing playing around with two teenagers? Surely his Powers would allow him to screw a lot more interesting ladies, including for example Kate & Pauline's mother, and his teacher's friend Leila. Very perplexing.

I hate it when setting of installment of story is only bedroom and the feelings. juliancoreto breaks up the Megan and Kate trysts with brief details of bike maintenance, then interacting with Pauline's faimly , then finally mall outing. Well interspersed and very well played !

Poor hunch of children that likes what is happening with Kate. Hope the seed kills Alan. I let it go after the rape but to keep acting that way to her is too much. You made this guy out to be a good guy but he is not. Alan is complete PoS. That being said I can’t keep reading. He might redeem himself. Not worth it for me to read anymore.

I think he has already settled the scores between him and Kate. He is becoming too demanding

Alan is just awful, petty and many more

The grammar can get confusing

hahaha it's hilarious to see people pretending to have morals in the comments section of a story under the "mind control" genre/tag. Mind control is never morally upright in any way. Anyone that is 4 chapters in tells a lot about them already.

Good story. Hopefully, you'll write more in the future but seeing the last submission date that seems unlikely.

I'm liking Kate more, and more!!!

Kate just seems too docile. It's like she's a puppet and not an actual character. Hard to create interest and drama when she just submits passively to everything. Hopefully it gets more interesting.