by star721
Some good descriptive writing there. Especially liked stuff such as your heart beating a techno rhythm. The wisecrack style was well executed and worked well with the descriptive sex scenes.
Good stuff, hope we'll get more from you.
story, I like your writing style. I hope we get many more tales from you.
I am repeating what has been left to me in comments many a times, so now I'm passing on the good advice. Great story, but you need an editor. You have "m" where you want "my" and other small mistakes like that, nothing that really distracts from the story or breaks it up, but it keeps is noticable. Other then that, great work.
What a beautiful seduction! To think that a ride on a motorcycle could end up with him taking you home with him. It was a very well-given idea on his part as you enjoyed the bike ride and ended up in his house, and then having a beer or two with him as your resolve melted. And no mention of birth control or disease control being mentioned made this story so natural reading and erotic. I hope you will write more stories of this caliber.....?
This is a really well written story. Good descriptions with the emotions of the characters highlighted to good effect.
Keep it up!
Your story has been mentioned in the New Story Reviews in the Author's Hangout.
I love the writing style...so 'real'! It makes it so much hotter that it could happen in real life. The scenario of a work crush is enjoyable and believalbe. It was very easy to substitute myself and my crush into this story! Thanks
You know it wouldnt hurt to put in the story what the sex of the character that you`re talking about like when you talk about the first part of the story but you dont put the sex of the person nor do you put the age how about a little info like heads up ok!.
Pat Murray
Atlanta,Ga
Star:
A romantic and erotic tale wherein the huntress becomes the hunted. After all is said and done who cares? It was mutually enjoyable and that is what counts. With humor added it is even better. Thank You. Ronnie W.
Love your writing style and the sex is hot...thank you
Love your writing style and the sex is hot...thank you
You have a great command of the English language. Your word pictures are excellent and the story line is mostly believable.
Keep up the excellent work.
I love your story, really straight to the point :-)
Best wishes from Germany,
brave6