I have fallen in love with your writing after this. This story had an affect on me like no other!
Thanks so much for reading. I appreciate you taking the time. This is actually a partial chapter in the second book of my Wrath & Cara series; there's lots more to the story. ;)
I would caution you to stay just as focused on your plot as your story. In this sort of work, it's nice to see the occasional use of thought and language, but at the same time, you want to make sure your language doesn't overpower your story line. When you have weak forward motion in your story, stronger language makes it more apparent. Consider longer works that allow you a better use of your vocabulary instead of short works that end up holding very little underneath all the flowery language.
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