When you tried to divide the stories, you almost lost me and probably your other readers as well. The ending was good when you brought everything back in focus.
by
Anonymous09/07/12
u should have ritten it as 2 seperate stories!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
by
Anonymous09/08/12
Stopped reading
It got too confusing to read so I stopped less than halfway through the first page.
multiple stories with one plot and theme. Maybe if you could tie them together a little more. TK U MLJ LV NV
by
Anonymous09/08/12
Interesting..
Guess those readers who can't keep two things in mind at the same time would have trouble with this. Perhaps reading other literature might help???
Pretty good effort, all in all.
English
confusing
seems like you had two different story lines going, couldn't decide which one to use and somehow ended up merging the two - very confusing to read
Whaat?!
When you tried to divide the stories, you almost lost me and probably your other readers as well. The ending was good when you brought everything back in focus.
u should have ritten it as 2 seperate stories!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stopped reading
It got too confusing to read so I stopped less than halfway through the first page.
I THINK YOU HAVE A NOVEL IDEA.
multiple stories with one plot and theme. Maybe if you could tie them together a little more. TK U MLJ LV NV
Interesting..
Guess those readers who can't keep two things in mind at the same time would have trouble with this. Perhaps reading other literature might help???
Pretty good effort, all in all.
TOTAL
CRAP
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