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All Comments on 'Dark Light'

by xelliebabex

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  • 4 Comments
tazz317tazz317over 11 years ago
SOME PEOPLE ONLY BLOOM IN THE LIGHT

making jealousy those who live the other. TK U MLJ LV NV

DesejoDesejoover 11 years ago

I like your use of rhyme, which gives this a singsong quality. You have also obviously given thought to the structure. Quibbles: lei's should read leis. It does look weird, but lei's is just wrong. Barefooted not bare footed. Lucifer's. But overall, I enjoyed this.

tazz317tazz317over 11 years ago
#2 WHEN READERS AND CRITICS

make rhyme, reason and sense...Is it rap????TK U MLJ LV NV

twelveoonetwelveooneabout 11 years ago
very nice

dark light, however

Unleashing the demons within, feeling furious heat, blackened soul are just a little too expected, and Damn that first line is good,

am curious as regards punctuation, looks intermittent

5ed

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userxelliebabex@xelliebabex
266 Works
5531 Followers
G'day, Well, 2022 was much of the same. Although it seems Amazon is getting better at shutting down the thieves. I know I should take it as a compliment that my stories are worth stealing, but it's just frigging annoying. I sincerely thank the readers who alert me when they f...