All Comments on 'Keith Doesn't Know Who He Wants'

Every mistake in the book.

The story idea and the moral dilemma work ok, but you need an editor, or at least an honest friend to read it first.

Great and well done

1. "you're" = you are, "your" = belongs to: "your car"

2. if you put a title of a song in quotes, put just the title in:

"your side of the bed" by...

3. you go from telling the story in third person to being in the story, make your mind up.

Who gives a shit about your corrections. When you write your own story you can correct it all you want probably shit anyway that's why you correct others

...but your grammar's making you look like a child:

TO - Direction - TO the shops.

TOO - As well as - I will go to the shops TOO.

TWO - The second number - TWO people go to the shops.

YOUR - Possessive / Belongs to - YOUR car.

YOU'RE - A contraction of YOU ARE

So I'm not an author myself but I know some things about writing and you spend too much time saying that characters names over and over and over. When they're out at the fishing hole together you could say he did this she did that instead of using their names over and over. "Keith did this" "Grace said I would do that" It just it ruin the story and made me quit reading.