All Comments  for

Right Sizing

byAzpiri©
All
Comments (72)
by Anonymous

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by betrayedbylove08/20/13

I Knew It

EXCELLENT!!! Perfect ending. The ex-wife is a real cunt. When I use that word I don't mean her genitalia. I mean it as a state of mind. Fucking cunt. She thought she was trading her spare tire for a couple of muscle heads. In reality she spurred her husband into taking control of his life, which he did in spectacular manner. So let's see, she tossed her loving husband, destroyed her relationship with her daughter and led her son into a bad influence with the muscle brained idiots. Now the husband has it all and she has no love in her life, just a muscle fuck once in awhile from an idiot. Oh I'm sorry. Two idiots. Fucking cunt. Fucking cheating cunt. I wouldn't miss her if she died. In pain.

Fuck.

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by overthehillmedic08/20/13

Great ending

So she left him for a guy who hangs out in a gym and has a big cock. Looks like you could say she screwed herself. Keep up the good work

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by FullCircle5608/20/13

Good Story

This one is a good little story. Wife cheats. Wants a divorce. Gets it. Maybe not all she wanted in the assets but cheating does have its consequences. Next comes a case of buyers remorse when muscle headed boyfriend acts like a dick. (Pun intended). Sons in jail because he's a deadbeat dad, daughter is just "gone". Then meets her ex at his engagement party to a woman she's jealous over. Runs to the bathroom in tears. Hmm sounds like a good BTB story to me. Maybe it wasn't a scorched earth story like some, but it works for me. Nice tale. Thanks for writing it.

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by DeYaKen08/20/13

Nice little story

Loved it. No revenge, no need for it. What's done is done, move on.It's a sad fact that a large number of divorces leave the cheating spouse wanting to return to what they once had.

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by cantbuymy08/20/13

Well done. What she meant by "telling him good-bye" was giving up his money. The fucking piece of garbage said good-bye the first time she spread that scum hole of hers for another man. And no fucking way would thing who used to be his son ever get a penny for anything including school. The daughter is just as bad not talking to her father too.
He busts his ass for two decades because his whore wife who does not work has an unending "I want" list and then comains he ignores her.

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by Anonymous08/20/13

Not bad but,

Every writer can get a decent score in LW by having a husband dumped by the wife and then slim down, turn his life around, find a younger, hotter woman, and then have the ex-wife regret her actions. This is a tried and true formula. This story was exactly by the numbers. Many readers care not about originality, plot, or character development. Have the husband be a good guy that works too hard and gets the better babe in the end and you have a winner, by many readers standards. Okay, but this story has been written a few hundred times.

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by Anonymous08/20/13

I just...

don't know about this story. Just really don't know what emotion it evokes. It has a bit of btb to it...humiliation of wife who was neglected. Well written -- 4*s. Great pace, descriptive. I have ambivalent feelings about this.

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by Anonymous08/20/13

Not bad but really difficult to understand or sympathize with any of the characters. Also what was up with the kids? You totally dropped the ball when it comes to several important details about the family!

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by BDEarth08/20/13

Short and Sweet

You really needed to BTB a little; she really was a self centered little skank. And by the way; it's Crown Royal that comes in a little purple bag, not SoCo.

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by tazz31708/20/13

HERE IS THE RIGHT SPOT FOR AN OLD ADAGE

He Who Laughs Last Wins. TK U MLJ LV NV

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by Anonymous08/20/13

Something wrong with this whole site

This is a repository for erotic stories. Why the heck are you posting this here? Even if we ignore the mind-numbingly stupid comments every story gets, there has to be a better audience for your work. You can write. Quit wasting your skills here.

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by Anonymous08/20/13

Good story you gave us somethings to cogitate on

I also think some of things to cogitate on were not really your intention when writing
this. Overall it is patently obvious that the now es-wife is a very shallow, self centered
woman who for some unexplained reason attempted to relive her adolescence with two very obvious meat heads who were obviously very self absorbed. Both of gym fuck toys probably combined had an IQ of less than average around 90. How if the ex-wife had any sense of self worth and wisdom would she ever fall for two gym rats ? I have been a gym member in multiple gyms for over 4 decades and have seen many gym rats like those and in both sexes and never once felt the need to approach them. If I had the conversation would always turn to worthless overpriced supplements.

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by Lickideesplit08/20/13

Good, but...

Anon 'not bad but' has a valid point. Sweetie is pretty much a bitch from the 'git-go!' Pity they didn't have access to 'Morning After' pills! Then they coulda fucked a few more months until Hubby went to college and Sweetie found another horny devil.

At least he batted .500 on offspring! And ended up with a better chance of a Real Sweetie!

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by LordSlamdawgg08/20/13

Is this too real or too fanciful ... just right ?

There has been quality effort on the author's part, without doubt. Yet as a reader, I felt a disconnect from events described. It really is folly for one half of a couple to let their appearance run to seed while the other partner cultivates their aesthetic front.

Loving wives afficianados know this already from the classic " When We Were Married " series. Yet this theme still reoccurs daily and Azpiri had done a respectable job with his version. The difference to me is that DanielQSteele went much deeper into the marital breakdown & rehab process of the ousted husband.

I feel this author has talent, but a lot less was invested in this story. The gritty details of the infidelity on the wife's part and the eventual comeback of husband were largely passed over. What Azpiri chose to do, he did well.

Pressures in a author's ' real life ' can undercut the ambition and scope of a story for which there is no monetary recompense. I still enjoyed the story but wouldn't deem this story to be a lapel grabber.

Yet the narrative voice(s) was/were coherent and I appreciated the vein of fair-mindedness that was a constant throughout this read. In the end, each party got their just desserts ( carb- lite ). ****

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by texcaveman08/20/13

great story

Your story got my mind working...and wondering.

What if she and Sam where about same age, maybe Sam a year or two older. Sam a widow and single mom of a son in his senior year of college. Sam met her man when her son asked her and his gf dad for dinner at his apartment to announce their engagement...she had previously told the bf she and mom no longer were talking after the way mom cheated her dad and her mom was no longer a part of her life...

The authors story was excellent, I don't suggest changing it.

But maybe the author, or another gifted writer, could take my idea and make it work.

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by Duna08/20/13

5*****

It is very difficult to teach the people for the taste of the Romantic Rervenge Stories.
Some Revenge Story haters did not recognize in Laptopwriter's last story they read Revenge story...........Does not matter, if some readers think to sell cheating wives to Central American Whorehose stories are the only revenge stories.
I think the best Romantic Revenge Story (and for me the best Revenge story forever) Vulcez's masterpiece gem story "How Are You?". However the best Romantic Revenge Scen is your fantasic subtle scen with the ex husband Jill and Amber according to me............

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by Duna08/20/13

Only one problem

However I have only one problem you forgot to organize a pregnant second chance woman.................again........
(I hope you like humor.........)

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by rjordan08/20/13

Dual POV

I always have a problem with short stories with two POVs. It works in a novella or larger, but in a short story, it detracts too much from one POV to make two POVs informative. There was so much more to say from the husband's POV.

But it would have been more difficult to spring the surprise meeting.

I try not to second guess another writer's stories. It is what it is. The author wrote the story he or she wanted to tell. I think Azpiri did a great job of doing the story he wanted to tell. I enjoyed the read very much.

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by Anonymous08/20/13

I personally don't have a problem with

just shooting the bitch and her two lovers. Do it right and get away with it.

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by john194608/20/13

OK

Actually a pretty good story. I wasn't crazy about the POV's but overall a fun read. I did like the ending. Best revenge comes with a little smile

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by Jounar08/20/13

5*

Great story with a perfect ending.

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by FullCircle5608/20/13

Addendum Comment

There was one other point on my buyers remorse comment. I wonder how she'll feel when the muscle heads end up losing their balls from a steroid overdose? That would be a fitting conclusion to her "Happy life" now. Too funny. (I know nothing about steroids, can you really overdose? I'm sure it's possible, but the true effects? No clue. Just thought it was funny)

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by thebuffalo08/20/13

Excellent story. Well written and plotted. The only negative for me was the abrupt segue in POV. Only took a moment to re-orient so as a criticism it's really picayune.

Good job.

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by OneShotOne08/20/13

Good story

The only question I have is what did he see in her? I've stepped in rain puddles that were less shallow. No one is so beautiful that they can hide that kind of ugliness fir 20 years.

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by greowulf08/20/13

Great Story

I understand why you called it Right Sizing, but Coyboy Up was more the theme here. Bravo.

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by Anonymous08/20/13

I thought you said this wasn't a btb story

Although he didn't set out to have revenge by living well and finding a younger more beautiful woman who just so happens to work with his ex, well he couldn't have planned any better revenge.

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by MattblackUK08/20/13

Excellent! 5* story

Just goes to show how a cheater can fuck things up. And not only for themselves, too.

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by Anonymous08/20/13

It's always sad

When the only thing that will make a fat whiny loser man up is having his wife cheat on him. Seriously, there's no excuse for being a fat whiny slob and blaming it all on a job on the road and on the kids having to have the latest shit. Man up, tell the kids how it is, get some ambition and move the fuck up the ladder, and spend some of that hotel time in the hotel gym instead of whining in front of a web-cam. He must have been a seriously shitty father if he had no idea her lovers were having that much of a horrible influence on his own son.

Just pathetic, can't cheer for a guy who only grows the pair he never had after being fucked over by a wife he had to be retarded in order to believe actually loved him.

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by Anonymous08/20/13

A fine tale! It's a shame big cocks don't come with big lifestyles. It's why clever women stick with their average-sized counterparts; the lifestyle is anything but average! ;-)

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by BTTap08/20/13

I kind of agree with the shrugging undercurrent of commenters here

The tale was a little formulaic, a paint-by-numbers moving on tale that is guaranteed to get a pretty good score on this site these days. I think the story lost a little something by having the wife be such a fucking bitch, and, as pointed out by a recent commenter, having the hubby being such a sad-sack, self-sacrificing, schmuck.
I think the authors of stories like this tap into a primal fear of family men when they write a story like this: a fear that all the self-sacrificing of a man for his family might, through no fault of his own, lead to his wife dumping him, raking him over the coals, and emasculating him by cheating on him and letting another guy (usually bigger, better in some way/ways, etc.) steal her away (and sometimes, as here, the kid(s) too). It's like a horror story for married men and fathers. When the protag gets revenge, even if its just living life well, it's kind of like when the psycho killer finally gets his in a horror movie. Just a thought.
The author has done this story before, and better, with his Shattered series.
Still gave it good marks, because it was pretty well-written, if a little summary and bare-bones.

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by Anonymous08/20/13

Well written but not exactly erotica

A guy gets divorced and lands on his feet. Surely there is a more fulfilling spot on the net where scarred ex-husbands can heal. Why do these stories end up in loving wives? At least she doesn't end up in jail, like the hero's SON.

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by bruce2208/20/13

Nicely Done

A morality play with a dose of pathos at the beginning and another one at the end.

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by Anonymous08/20/13

loved it

the bitches words came back to kick her no good cheating ass halfway to fucking Mars

aw and now she's sad

good!

hope she cries herself to sleep for the next 10 years

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by Anonymous08/20/13

The story was good

But it would have been better without the reference to the songs.

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by WoodyKC08/20/13

Thank you

For not wasting my time. I skipped to the end thus I don't need to read anything you write. Men that weak deserve what the get.

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by eWoman08/21/13

Oh but it is btb...From the anon 'ambivalent"...

From the anon 'ambivalent: I've worked through why I'm ambivalent. If this self-righteous sanctimonious jerk had had the sense to do for his first wife what he did for his second love, ie get his act together -- , he would still be married to the first. So -- my conclusion is that 'mr. i.m so noble and i'm so disrespected' is just another lame (and I mean really lame) excuse.

If she hadn't divorced this guy, he would have never bellyed up to the bar and shaped up. In fact -- he and his 'new love' need to send first wiferoses and a whole bunch of other kudos.

He's just another jackass as far as I'm concerned -- neither noble or anyone to admire. He's just another self-pitying piece of garbage who needs to grow up and acknowledge his contribution to the mess that they created. Whining in never admirable from either gender. If I could vote again, it would be a -10*. This just pisses me off.

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by TornadoTys08/21/13

Swallow

A story of a swallow women who though she was trading up.
I have meet this type in life and they miss the essential character of the man they throw away for another with a better body.
They never seem to every be happy.

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by gatorhermit08/21/13

Living well is indeed the best revenge

Good concise and well written story. Great To see the ex wife have to get a job.

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by Duna08/21/13

The time

@eWoman The working ex wife was shown by the author.
1. The loverboys will change her to younger pussy(ies) in 5-10 years.
2. The good mate candidates will be less and less for her in the time.
3. She has the ex con son (for not paid children support), but the "sanctimonious" ex husband has possibility for new children..................and evry pregnancy possibilty 50% for boy..........

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by Duna08/21/13

LOL

In my brain I got that picture, that the ex con son (for not paid children support) lives in the Momy's basement..........
The exhusband's new wife and the exhusband's daughter do race who will have earlier baby............
I hope the Author thought children liking Sam and daughter.............I hate the low IQ children hater sex robot (fembot) women. (The High IQ (AI fembots) female robots want to be stepmoms.)

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by TheAnonYmous08/21/13

Karma

This is for all the sundry commentators who dissed the male protagonist for being what they termed as a self-righteous sanctimonious jerk and a fat whiny loser who manned up only after having his wife cheat on him.

Sad to pour cold water on you dimwits but your idea of perfect alpha-husbands, at least for a normal middle-class family man, especially in today's economy exists only in cheap badly written paperbacks and tawdry celluloid fuelled dreams of Hollywood's cheesier productions. Either you are delusional and never experienced living in the the real world or you are bitter ex-slut wives/whores who rightfully got dumped by their husbands/boyfriends.

The man had indeed cowboyed-up and accepted the roll of dice that fate dealt him with and faced up to it to the best of his abilities and all he asked for in return was a little bit of love and empathy from his family especially the wife.He made the sacrifice because he loved his family and knew that they were depending on him.

When you look at the story you'll see that he certainly didn't have a very high level or high paying cushy job what with a degree obtained online, that too at an advanced age. He had to work very hard and travel all the time just to maintain the family's lifestyle and to save for the kids' future.

That kind of hard work, traveling on a very strict budget and his job profile/designation as a lower mid-level executive ensured that he could only stay in basic budget hotels/motels that didn't have operational gyms. Incessant traveling also meant unhealthy food, irregular sleep-patterns and heavy mental stress etc, enough to take a toll on any average person's overall health, looks and physical condition. And you all expect him to be superman doing all that and also chip in with the honey dos' while at home and be a romantic alpha-stud all the same time??? Must be something really good you are smoking up there.

Now tell me what did the virtuous(?) wife exactly do the whole time to help out:
1) didn't get a job to lighten the financial burden on hubby's lonely shoulders, so that he could get a job that kept him home most of the time
2) not tuned into hubby's psyche and emotional and physical needs and no respect for him
3) She along with the kids needed to have the latest smart phone with data plans, the latest fashion trends, the biggest house, leased cars, and whatever other material possession that was needed to make their quality of life just perfect, putting further strain to an already limited income
4) made hubby's limited time at home very unpleasant with endless argument over money and materialistic stuff
5) very less sexual intimacy with hubby and with disgust and no enthusiasm if and when it happened
6) selfishly started a cheap affair with two lumbering gym-rats
7) openly self-destructive and outrageously slutty behaviour in front of her teenage son who was at a very impressionable age and arguably turned him into the ass-hole he became...actually one can go on and on enumerating the lovely wife's endless qualities but lets just leave the rest for some other time. There is nothing as the author wrote her that redeems the wife's character and explains her motivation and as it is his story we just have to assume she was a selfish, dim-witted and very shallow slut that fully deserved her comeuppance.

My only gripe with the author is that the characters could've been more fleshed out because in it's current form the tale is more of an outline than a story, at least not enough to truly connect with the characters and their motivations; anyway thank you! author for a very realistic out take on life and here's 5* stars from me.

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by Anonymous08/21/13

Karma is a bitch! 5*

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by Drbeamer333308/21/13

Enjoyed it

Thanks for the offering.

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by JackorChuck08/21/13

Interesting

The story held my interest to the end. It is easy for a man in this age group working long hours to provide for his family, to get out of shape. Well written.

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by Miguel5908/21/13

Good story

Only problem I have with stories like yours is where's the erotica? What in your story gets a man hard or a woman wet? As someone from the opposite end of the spectrum (who gets off on cheating wives) I wonder if Literotica should have a few more categories: Vengeful Spouses, Cuckold.
Are there people out there sporting wood after reading Right Sizing?

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by overthehillmedic08/21/13

Rewrite PLEASE

Love the layout, BUT you need to add more the the story, the husbands feelings, what the slut looks like, What the husband had to do to survive the whole ordeal from the time she said I found a bigger cock to how it effected the son. How he met sam and how he got to his new title with the business. How bad the Bitch tried to take him for the little he had in life. As well what excuse she would give when big dick Rick didn't come with her for the evening.

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by Anonymous08/21/13

LMFAO

This one sentence was worth a five all by itself. So true.

"They drop their panties faster than the French drop their rifles."

Gosh that was good.

Reminds me of the only war the French won, the French Revolution, never mind they were fighting themselves.

A good story, maybe a tad more development, but too the point

Sacre bleu!!!.

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by Duna08/21/13

Different between SOL and Lit

@Miguel59 The SOL (storiesonline.net) is better in that thing, you can read from sexual cannibalism to extrem romanic everything, from Sci Fi to homoerotic and you can find a special sign at the story: minimal sex, much sex, stroke story, etc.. The Literotica has some hubs where you can find pure sex scen stories. The LW is not this sort of hub. If you wants 100% sure that all stories pure sex scen stories you should go to other hubs: for example Erotic Coupling, Groupsex, etc...

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by cpete08/21/13

Nice..

story. Well done with an economy of words. Good tale that was entertaining and enjoyable.

Thanks for posting

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by eWoman08/21/13

it's still btb...

and husband is still just a whiny jerk. I think I just got the chance to vote a 1 -- and as I've said before, I'd give it a -10 if it were possible. Husband might need to think about whether his son would have turned out to be a loser if he had adjusted his priorities. So -- husband's still a self-righteous jerk, poor me victim. No wonder first wife went in search of something. And he ought to thank her -- because this made his transformation possible. I will say they both created this mess. But he nor she is either heroine or hero. And I like to think that first wife will find some fabulously wonderful person (man or perhaps female) who will make husband reveal the sorry excuse for a human being he is.. Toodles...take care

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