All Comments on 'Bite of the Bimbo Ch. 02'

I like what you did with this.

Enjoyed it a lot!

This is the first story of yours that I read although it's been months, but I read it again after reading Gift from Dad. I give you 5* for the stories but I must also give Spirit02 5* for the editing. A dramatic change took place in Gift from Dad when the editing began and I noticed the editing here took place around the same time. I wish all writers could see editing as an asset and use this example to do the same.

I need an editor for my comments, i.e. "A Gift From His Father"

too 'pat'. I don't want to say contrived, but it's like it all worked out a bit too easily and simply.

For example, Carol was presented as jealous and distrusting of Jim with a female partner, fearful of losing her husband and a bit repressed sexually, ie: bj's on 'special' occasions. Then, in the midst of her worst fear, (finding Jim with his female partner), she makes a complete reversal in attitude, loses her fear(s), gains more interest in sex and then, after an explanation and some sex, totally over compensates and becomes Sarah's ally, and then becomes a full blown swinger.

People just don't change like that in an instant. They can change, and even change as much as Carol did, but it takes time and outside influence. I heard or read somewhere that personality change is similar to how a diamond is created: time and pressure.

Combine Carol's transformation with some of the other 'solutions', and it just feels too 'neat'.

This is the dilemma of the short story, how to make the storyline work while keeping it a short story. Not all story lines work as short stories. They need too much. Some one suggested after Ch 1 this would make a good novella; I think you proved them correct in their assessment.

But, every work is part of the learning process and never a waste of time. Keep at it, you have a fertile imagination and talent worth developing.

this story. I'm not usually a fan of bimbo transformation stories. While the transformation can be fun, once it's over you are left with a bimbo, who is never an interesting character. This story, with it multiple transformations and the return of the character to normal, avoids both problems. Kudos for this unique intelligent approach and to the story as a whole.

Not bad. Thought was put into this and the story flowed very well. No spelling or syntax errors and no plot holes...

Great job

Very good story, sexy vampire-like twist without having to die, lol. Well written and thought out, I look forward to reading more of your work. I appreciate your and your Muse's imagination and abilities to bring it to your story. Thank you for sharing your vision and talents.

Good story... Bimbo Virus... ha, ha, ha. I loved it, especially since they all lived happily ever after.

Great job, thanks for sharing your work.