The Best Erotic Stories.

Church Tales
Ch. V: Pastor Ronnie Joe
by Jimi Linden

This story was split into 3 parts. Jump to any of the segments from here:
Note: This story was originally submitted as one long story
and it was only broken into 3 parts for faster page loading.

Leo raised his hands in defeat and, with his usual thoroughness to precise detail, lamented, "Ten thousand steak and lobster houses in Albuquerque. At least twice that many fabulous Mexican restaurants. The best Chinese, Italian, French, Indonesian ... whatever earthly taste a person could ask for; and you want to eat at Lotta Burger, don't you?"

"I knew you'd understand. There's no better cheeseburger in the whole world than a nice big, eight inch round Blake's Lotta Burger with tomato and onion only, topped with a cup of chopped green chili! I've been dreaming of one ever since I decided to come home for the holiday", I drooled.

Consequently, we ate one of our favorite meals. No lettuce, no frills, no ketchup, no mustard, no mayonnaise, no 'special sauces', not even french fries to ruin the taste of our passionate love for this uniquely New Mexican treat. Though it was late November the evening was warm enough for us to eat outside at one of the umbrella topped tables. I gorged and had three big cheeseburgers all by myself. Leo looked at me as if he were trying to figure out which of my legs was hollow.

After supper, Leo took me up West Central all the way to the overlook. I've heard it said that the night view from the top of the West Hill, where I-40 suddenly exposes the Albuquerque vista, is possibly the Eighth Wonder Of The World. Lights of the Rio Grande Valley are visible as far as the eye can see both to the North and to the South. The altitude is enough to make the observer feel almost as if they're airborne in a small plane. Add to that fabulous view the breathtaking panorama of Albuquerque itself stretching roughly thirty miles across the valley and then a full mile upward to Sandia Crest and it brings tears of rapture to almost anyone's eyes. As New Mexico proclaims on their license plates, it truly is "The Land Of Enchantment"!

We sat and stared for over an hour, not smooching nor hardly even talking. Just cuddling and appreciating one of the most beautiful tableaus on earth.

A bit after midnight as we were getting ready to leave a policeman drove up and asked if we needed help. Leo told him I had been in Los Angeles for the last several months so I needed lots of help.

"Ain't that the truth?" he laughed. Nodding knowingly he smiled and said, "Gorgeous isn't it. I patrol here several times a night and I always have to stop and stare for a few minutes each time. I never get enough of this view. You know where Saint Joe's is?"

Leo answered, "Oh yeah. They call it the University of Albuquerque now though, don't they?"

"Yeah", the cop answered back. "I was born and raised just east of Coors Boulevard over by the campus and I still live only a couple of blocks further south. My parent's house went when they put the freeway through. It'll always be Saint Joe's College to those of us who grew up in that neighborhood", he reminisced. Awareness suddenly sparked in his eyes and he said, "Sorry. Kinda' got sidetracked there for a minute. My point was I've been looking at this view for almost thirty years but I never get enough of it. Well, gotta' go. Listen, you kids be careful. Keep your doors locked and your windows up. Have a good night", he sang out as he pulled away probing for other vehicles with his spotlight.

Leo and I meditated for another minute or two, then we started back toward town to finish our lovemaking. As we pulled out, Leo mused out loud, "I wonder why he chose to be a cop. That's always seemed like such a thankless job to me".

"Maybe he couldn't find an honest job", I theorized. "You're just jealous because he gets to live up here and you have to live next to Ronnie Joe", I teased. "I don't know how you stand it."

"Well, it's hard, but it has its compensations", he teased back. "I mean, how could I not enjoy having someone as nice as those two kids next door for neighbors?"

"Oh, I didn't know you were so fond of kids. Or is it just the making of them that you're so enamoured with?" As I said this, I stretched across the seat with my head in his lap. This has always been one of our favorite ways to travel as it allows Leo easy access to my chest and with a small stretch he can even reach other interesting areas.

Absently stroking my nipple he smirked and shot back, "Whoa, I don't want to be making any of the little monsters. I just want to practice until I've got the process perfect."

Biting him gently (remember he was driving) through the front of his jeans I said, "You're hopeless!" Then I slowly deliberated, "You know though, their daddy isn't all that bad. I'll bet Dianna enjoyed it when he was making those babies."

"We'll ask her tomorrow", he answered. "She's coming over for coffee just as soon as the kids are in school and 'Old Stick In The Mud' leaves." A terribly prejudiced and very inaccurate portrait of Ronnie Joe we were to learn.

Sure enough, we had just finished showering Friday morning when Dianna popped in the back door. I noticed she didn't bother to knock.

Wrapped in nothing but a bath towel Leo slipped out to welcome her.

Totally nude I scampered quickly back to the bedroom. I was just debating what to put on when they both casually walked into the room. Ordinarily I'm not even slightly modest, but their nonchalant expectation that I wouldn't be offended, did startle me a bit.

Before I could even react and pull something over my nudity though, Leo reached out and pulled me to him. Then with his other arm he pulled Dianna against his other side.

The towel, which dropped from his waist, caught on his very erect and ready manhood.

First he kissed her, then as he turned to kiss me he said pleadingly to her, "Take those clothes off please. I've dreamed for years of having two exciting, sexy women in bed with me at the same time".

She complied with his request dropping her clothing so fast that she was naked by the time we came up for breath. Leo then pleaded, in a sexually hoarse whisper; "Will you beautiful ladies make my dreams come true?"

Dianna seemed as turned on by his desire as I was. Leo and I had made love less than an hour previously but now the contagion of his hunger reawakened the butterflies of lust below my stomach. The hot ache throbbing deep inside my female cavities ignited my passion to satiate my mate. My nipples immediately tattled my desire and I felt a stream of elixir trickling down my thighs. In seconds the bed held Leo on his back with my fur encompassing his mouth and Dianna impaled on his former towel hanger.

Leo firmly gripped each cheek of my buttocks and pulled me hard against his probing tongue. Thrusting his chin deep into my wetness he lapped against the sides of my vaginal canal until I was spurting so heavily I was almost afraid he might drown. Feeling frisky, I was about to ask him if he needed a snorkel when the tip of his wonderfully educated tongue found my clitoris and I drenched him with even more nectar from my love reservoir.

Dianna was leaning forward with her hands on his chest for balance and the feathery caress of her hair tickling my back was somehow erotically exciting. Homosexuality or even bisexuality has always particularly turned me off so I was having trouble understanding my intrigue. Eventually I concluded that the touch of her hair was only emphasizing her presence and the enjoyment we were giving to Leo. Previous experience had taught me that anytime Leo became excited my triggers tripped in conjunction with his.

When Leo placed one hand on my breast, teasing the nipple to erectness with his thumb, and I could feel his other hand reaching to offer the same pleasure to Dianna, I exploded into his mouth. To his credit, he swallowed every drop of my fluids and licked deep into my inner self until the membranes of my most private channel wept freely again.

It was then, as I descended from my personal heaven, that I realized how correct my analysis had been. It hadn't been the touch of Dianna's hair that excited me. No, what had turned me on so passionately was the realization of the pleasure we were lavishing on our shared lover!

Temporarily gratified I collapsed on to the bed to observe. Leo's strong masculinity would ascend into Dianna, freeze momentarily, then emerge downward as if she were giving birth to his beautiful column. The slow cadence of their repetitious blending allowed each to enjoy the other to the deepest melding of their cravings. Fascinated I watched this magical spectacle of pleasure until, holding her tightly to his chest Leo rolled over so she was on her back.

From the foot of the bed I watched as my lover aspired to infuse his whole being completely into Dianna. He maintained the slow, deep thrusting pace that drew his full length along with his tightly compressed testicles into her widely opened womanhood. Like persimmon pursed lips her vulva would iris tightly around his shaft each time he withdrew and then spring open with welcome abandon to accept his next penetration.

Gentle kisses and feathery caresses from me to the tight muscles of Leo's pistoning hips elicited a series of warbling, breathy groans. As the pace of his thrusts began to accelerate, I cupped my hand around his testicles. I couldn't resist the temptation to hold the tight little sack of his scrotum and soon my hand was riding with the crest of Leo's excitement as it mounted toward release.

Leo's pent up seed roiled through the conduits of his masculinity and for the first time ever I was able to actually feel and witness the pleasure I had so often enjoyed being jettisoned into me. So caught up in the moment was I that I lovingly leaned down to take his dwindling shaft to my lips and kiss it clean. My sinus cavities must have been slightly obstructed otherwise, I fear my eyes would still be crossed. After a communal shower, where all epidermal surfaces (and a few internal) were intimately polished by thirty exploring fingers, we retired with much less odorous bodies to clean bed sheets.

Straddled by Dianna and me Leo relaxed comfortably while we delicately caressed his nakedness. He would have drifted off to sleep had we allowed him to forsake us. Instead, every time he began breathing with too much regularity, we exercised his eyelids, which were evidently directly attached to his manhood. The teeniest little nip of the teeth or dig of a fingernail applied to the nether regions of his sexuality would cause his eyeballs to suddenly protrude with timorous alarm. And his eyebrows! His gorgeous ear to ear, solid line, thick eyebrows! Those sensuous, majestic, expressive, continuous eyebrows would arch so far up his forehead one was tempted to comb them into the wave of his hair.

We lay quietly for almost an hour, teasing Leo's body just enough to keep him firm but not erect. Finally he raised up and announced, "There's one more thing I've always wanted to do".

Almost in unison Dianna and I asked, "Like what?"

Grinning lecherously Leo answered, "Have intercourse with two girls at once".

"So what have we been doing all morning?" I asked, "Or are you losing your memory in your old age?"

"No. No. I mean ... at the same time. You know, both at once", he explained.

"Now this I gotta' see", I snickered. "Did I miss something, or did you just grow another appendage when I wasn't looking?"

Slowly, as if presenting a carefully prepared court defense, he continued, "What I mean is, I want to enter one of you for a few strokes and then the other for a few strokes and back and forth. Kinda'. Sorta'. You know, not to cum! Just to enjoy the sensation of different feelings. I guess. Sorta' ... I mean how different people feel. Well ... I mean how you and Dianna feel different. You know, ... what I'm trying to say. Don't cha'?"

Neither Dianna nor I could, try as we might, keep a straight face. First we sniggered. Then we giggled. Before long we had both rolled up into tight little fetal balls holding our sides we were laughing so hard. Tears rolled from our eyes and neither of us could take a deep breath.

Leo was lost. He had no idea why we found his suggestion so funny and our tears worried him no end. He kept trying to comfort first one, then the other, then back again, in an exertion of absolute futility.

Dianna took a deep breath, straightened up and pointing at Leo choked out, "Are you saying you want to poke me seven times, then switch and ... poke seven strokes ...". At which point she lost it again and curled back into her fetal laughing ball.

The hilarity of his request finally died to an occasional snuffle and we sat, lotus style, facing him on the bed. Both of us were holding our arms straight down, with our fists clenched, our shoulders squared and our cheeks drawn in. Still an occasional snigger choked our breathing. Then Leo began to snicker.


"You two look like you're about to sit in judgement on the troubles of the world. Like two beautiful little Buddha figurines, legs crossed, knees spread wide, soft furry pelts staring straight out, nipples erect and breasts held high!"

Dianna and I looked at each other and giggled. Before we could start on another uncontrollable fit of laughter Leo suddenly yelled, "BOO!" Then he fell forward onto the bed pulling us down with him. Soon we were all much too involved to even remember what had been so funny only a short time before.

We were so busy caressing and being caressed that I didn't realize Leo had entered Dianna until he slipped gently from her and entered my wet and willing channel. Then he proceeded to do exactly what he had described earlier. First he would piston me for several strokes (fortunately not limited to a count of seven) then he would switch to Dianna for several strokes. I noticed that the pattern of sex - then relax and watch; sex - then relax and watch; sex - then relax and watch; over and over was surprisingly erotic. Of course, he was petting both of us continually regardless who was the recipient of his experiment at any given moment.

"Are you going to cum?" Dianna asked him.

"Not for a long time, if I can help it", he answered. "This feels much too good to rush!"

With an evil little grin, she clamped her legs tight around his thighs, pulled him close and said, "Well, I'm horny now! Pump me, damn it!" Then she gave me a thumbs up behind his back.

It took just enough action to bring out a good sweat on Leo until Dianna pulled his lips to hers and sucked the breath from him as she climaxed. The instant she relaxed her hold on his body, I pushed him onto his back and mounted him. As my nipples grazed against the tips of his counterpoints, I bucked and rode him like a jockey going for the wire.


This story was split into 3 parts. Jump to any of the segments from here:
Note: This story was originally submitted as one long story
and it was only broken into 3 parts for faster page loading.

Another top quality story by Jimi Linden.

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