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I just couldn't finish reading it

It reads like the most absurd episode of NCIS ever, and that show is already absurd to begin with! Just more 'Superhero agent saves the world' dross that we see on T.V. everyday. There's being nationalistic and patriotic, and then there's being just plain ridiculous. It seems the line between the two has become trampled to death!

Didn't enjoy that one.

Another secret black belt who is a bad ass pretending to be Clark Kent. C'mon guys! This cliché isn't getting old yet?

I can't buy this story as being realistic, so it didn't give me much enjoyment. I can't imagine any father allowing another man to disrespect his daughter, no matter how much of a rich douche bag he is. I can believe the coercion to make her marry someone he deemed appropriate. Hell, if I can pull that off with my own daughter I will. But to sit there and listen to a guy brag about banging his daughter, having her "spread her legs" for him was so over the top for me that this story lost all taste. Then to have that father tell his son in law how to cheat on his daughter was the puke icing on a very shitty cake.

Then there is the plot device of all of the planets align to give justice to some poor soul. The exaggerated Karma for the cheating wife irritates me more than it used to. Once upon a time they made me smile. Now I just want stories that show real humanity. Sorry, I can only give this a two.


Good one; pick on Christians; 1* for being soooo PC.

Not one of his best

But pretty good just the same.

Nobody does retribution like Britease.

whimp or idiot?

Maybe his final rebellion was the maximum he could get from a situation HE permitted to become that wasted. The wife could have decided to split and didn't. He could have decided to split but didn't. 'Cause he was in love? Pathetic! Face the situation and demand a clarification immediatly, then face the consequencies. He started to act as a masochist and she was pushed to become a sadist. At the end she wants to talk to save the marriage, well this is trite in this type of stories. She is a bad person and he is an idiot. A loose-loose situation.

I liked it . . . some strong points, a few weak (my opinion only)

Very entertaining read !! Thanks !! . . . If you are curious as to what I thought was a bit weak (ignore the following if you're not . . . it's your story, after all)
1 - As another reader pointed out, a bit too much on the nature of the limp. A simple case of saving someone's life might of been fine.
2 - David got a touch wimpy at the end. Marci was doing the defending, which was fine. David would have shown more character by NOT asking her why she broke her vows and didn't stand by him. He is characterized as having a lot of integrity, and NOT needing to dwell on wrongs done to him. (That's Marci's job!) Just wishing her well and saying that he was sorry he wasn't enough for her . . . he had tried . . . would have been truly poignant.

After that she could have quietly reached out to an unhearing screen with a quiet, "I'm so sorry; I've been such a selfish fool." . . . knowing she'd driven away the best thing that would ever happen to her . . . she would never get it back . . . and that she'd probably end up settling for somewhat less at some point. Too late she realized she'd always love Dave deeply. She could take some solace in knowing that because he was such a fine person, she'd probably already been forgiven . . . Her family and former (false) friends were nothing to her from this point on, she would let them go . . . but at least, she knew, she was luckier than she deserved . . . she now would have two BFF's.

. . . "Please make him happy" were her soft words to a blank screen after the DVD finished.

My take, anyway . . .

For 'You forgot...'

Tom & Jerry's more your cup of tea then?


who is a fella to believe and trust. TK U MLJ LV NV

He might not be totally out of the running for a payoff

Annulling the marriage crashed Trina's plans, but her father was part of the scheme and he seemed to have some means. Suing Trina and her dad for damages for the years he devoted in good faith to a fraudulent marriage might bring something in. Plus the added pleasure from turning their scheme into an even bigger money loser for them.

It was fun

I enjoyed it. Sadly, the pouting 'nameless ones' didn't. Then again if some guy isn't gutting some cheating wife they won't.

Poor choice!

I feel sorry for you....what a total dick. If that was me giving you that massage, girl your juices would have been flowing as you came and came....and then I would have fucked you strong and hard!

needs more

Incomplete. Needs the confrontation.

A bit formulaic

but not nearly as bad as the other comment-er would have us believe. Kudos on a pretty good first story!


........ trial runs for future adultery.
No star effects for this series. Sorry.

You forgot the part about him being a Navy Seal.

And winning the Congressional Medal of Honor, and oh yeah, don't forget about the part where the whole country wanted him to run for president but he was just so gosh darn humble to accept the nomination.
In case I haven't made myself clear, the characters were too cartoonish for my taste.

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