All Comments on 'a Paris Rose un'

This poem is mentioned in the New Poems thread at the forum.

You're going to hate me, but since I know you really don't, I'm going to offer suggestions. I'm going to poke at your words and make them cry--actually, only a couple of them.

paint brush streaked clouds

across a baby blue sky

(baby blue needs to either be blue or some other interesting descriptive word. Baby blue is pretty cliché, though all cliché words can work. I think in this case, I'd just go with blue sky or maybe "across a blue baby sky" which is weird but interesting.)

a g'light glimpse at the tower

(What is g'light?)

long sheer slender leg in swing

(If you want to stick with the long, sheer and slender description, then try something like: slender sheer leg, long in the swing. This breaks up a long string of adjectives.)

Other than that, there's a lot of good stuff here.