by sack
almost threw me for a loop but it served its purpose and made me read each line. You captured the tragedy well and brought out salient points that should be remembered by many. The awesome power of mother nature shouldn't be tinkered with.
Color me amazed! I have never encountered such a very different format for a poem. The format itself caused the subject matter to stand out in stark relief from the usual lines we see written by other wonderful poets. Such a complete treatment of after effects of the Disaster. Well done!
just very impressed. great work, visually and emotionally as well as the actual wordcraft.
this one up, the direction quickly took hold of me. i liked how it was constructed and the mood of the piece conveyed nicely. the ending may be able to elaborate on. a very thoughtful poem for those lost.......nicely done.....don
very good use of formatting, easing the transition between ideas. words slowly losing meaning and warping into something else.
I am not too crazy about the last stanza. it seemed too easy of a way to end the poem. the rest is too dizzying to end it flat. Just my opinion of course
Sack..
loved the lesson and the creative expression of painful reality... lessons of hope rise from the ashes..
Great work..
du lac
Anonymous, your comment is so vague, it ought to be a poem! (LOL). If anyone has the slightest idea of what this person is talking about, PM me!
would have played well in the day of the hurricanes. lots of twisters, I assume these were to be waves? Then the words combined to make one big wave and an ocean would perhaps be the better big picture and a way to rid the one letter lines. but... (three dots used as an extension of words, not 4 and not 2 (3)) the death toll rose so curious if sack will change the total count when the rescue and rehabilitation takes place and a final count is narrowed down. The event in question was tragic indeed,
the overall poem
shows thought and thoughtfullness.