by SeattleRain
tasty poem, seattle! I love the amorphous structure and language-- works well for this poem.
However. I have read many of your works, just never commented. I know your style, your intent, or I like to think I do. This section-
your image evolves like a swirling oil screen
prismatic amoeba slide from my fingers,
flickered lights flash shadowed branches
from here, no
there!
how about--
your image evolves, a swirling sheen
prismatic amoeba slide from fingers,
flickered lights flash
shadowed branches from here, no!
there
-
sheen implies oily, "my" is understood. Very nice work, and I love your imagination. Keep it up-
Your poem was mentioned on the thread
"New Poem Reviews"
Merry Christmas~
Your poem was mentioned on the thread
"New Poem Reviews"
http://www.literotica.com:81/forum/showthread.php?s=&postid=10840885#post10840885
Merry Christmas~