by seannelson
into a deep thought (~_*) a memory tornado (grin) nice write
A whole lot of vulnerability and great imagery for the reader. I felt with this. Now, what I'd like to see, is for you to keep it active. Less talky-talky, more action (God, don't you love my technical vocabulary...) The beginning sequences in this are fabulous, but the middle-end withers from lack of action. *Just my opinion, take it or leave it.